gEt LOsT lInEs
If he's acting stupid, tell him:
"Act your age, not your dick size."
If he asks what you're doing, say:
"I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."
If he asks you out, say:
"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable."
If he asks for you to come back to his place, tell him:
"Sorry, gotta leave. I have two more dates to get ready for and lets just say they'd better not be as boring as this one!"
If he asks for your number, say:
"Sorry, I don't have a phone."
If a guy is trying sweet talk his way to *ahem.. nuff said*, then say:
"No thanks, there's already one ass hole in there!"
If he asks for a BJ, say:
"Sorry, my mother always told me when I was little not to put small objects in my mouth."
... or ...
"Sorry, I cant. I forgot the tweezers and straw."
For any corny pickup line, say:
"Why don't you go put a condom over your head?! If you're going to act like a dick, you might as well look like one!"
Pathetic Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
You: It's in the phone book.
Pathetic Guy: But I don't know your name.
You: That's in there too.
Guy: So what do you do for a living?
You: I'm a female impersonator.
Pathetic Guy: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
You: If i saw you naked I'd die laughing!
Guy: You suck.
You: Well I sure as hell don't suck yours.
Pathetic Guy: Did it hurt?
You: What?
Pathetic Guy: When u fell from heaven?
You: No, not with your blubbery ass to fall on.
Pathetic Guy: Why don't you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up?
You: Yeah, and we know what that will be [stick up middle finger].
You: [talking to another girl] I had a dream last night...
Guy: [cutting in] was I in it?
You: I said dream, not nightmare.
Pathetic Guy: If I were rearranging the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" together.
You: Thats odd, because if I were rearranging the alphabet, I'd put "F" and "U" together.