Why am I such a horrible person?
So, I really am a horrible person. I just feel like I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I always want what I can't have and then once I get it I feel like I want something else. I thought I wanted to go into theater but now I've been talking to Ryan and he's been to Africa and South America and Central America and Europe. I want to do those things. Also, I know I'm not where God wants me to be. I feel so terrible. I feel like everythign I do is wrong. I'll start to make progress and then I just fall and fall and fall... It's the worst feeling in the world. I just ask you guys to pray for me. I kind of feel like if I went into wildlife and go to travel to all those places I could use it as an opportunity to witness. Of course, studying animals doesn't seem like it would give you those chances. But then there's the people that you would study with. I just don't know. I've always felt like I could handle going to those crazy places like Africa and witnessing. I need to go on a Mission Trip. That would give me a better idea of if it's right for me. I feel like I just need to take a great leap of faith though. I have so many contradicting feelings. Oh and if I went into wildlife I'd probably end up going to State and even though I was excepted to State I don't know if they would still want me after my grades so far this year. Then there's other things that are confusing me. Which I can't really talk about on here. Not that they're bad or anything, just something I don't want some people to hear. I know that makes it sound like something really terrible but I promise it's not. I miss high school where things were easy. It really does all change when you go to college. Nobody is there to hold your hand. *Sigh*