(no subject)
So, for the past hour or so, not only did I Evieify my lj, but for some reason I went back to my old journal. I read a few entries, and even though its not been that long, it seems like years since I wrote that stuff. Not because of the content really, but mostly because of the detail I went into, compared to now. Maybe its just me getting carried away with myself. Maybe I am losing my creative writing abilities. And its not just on lj. Even in my personal diary, I treat one of the most awesome days in the History of Me, like it was just another day. It kind of angers me a little bit, but I'm just going to have to write more. I know I had an entry similar to this one before, not too long ago, I'm just realizing it on a new level now I think. I mean, I wrote SOMETHING every freakin day!!! It didn't have to be something huge, just a thought or a question or whatever. And you know what??? Almost everytime, someone replied. Except for one or two people every so often, nobody replys to my entries. I realize its for two reasons: 1. I only write about crap that nobody, including myself, cares about. and 2. I never reply to anything you guys have to say. So, from now on, I'm going to try my hardest to write about whats most important to me and my life, and I'll reply to anything and everything you guys say.
On another note, it really upsets me that Ryan never checks this. I got on his case a while ago about writing in his journal, and he told me he had no interest in it. It kind of hurts to hear him say that, cause I put so much time and effort into making it look good for him. But, thats not important to me. If he doesn't want to use his journal, thats his business. But I think he should open up mine every now and then, just to see whats on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I don't keep anything from Ryan. Theres just some things that are best said, well, written. I think at this point, even if I mentioned writing something in my journal, he wouldn't read it. I guess I'm being silly, cause I know he cares about me a lot. I'd just like him to read my journal every now and then. Maybe he'd learn somthing new about me that he overlooked or was just too plain stupid to figure out before. :)
So, the job hunt continues. Its very hard. Nobody gives a 20 year old a chance to do anything if they're not a student. Do I have to go to University or college just to get a minimum wage job? All I ask is an interview. Maybe ask WHY I'm not in school, instead of just assuming that I'm out here living with my parents and I'm just looking for a job for something to do (god I HATE that!!!). I DON'T live in a rent-free envornment. I DO need money! GO SCREW YOURSELF!!!! I've looked on the job bank about a million times, and everything thing I see is no good for me. They're either asking for a shit load of experiance and credentials, or its a telemarketing job. Ryan was trying to put it into my head to try for something like that because of my experiance. I did like it, it was by FAR my favorite job so far, but it just wasn't good on my ear. I've had a problem with it since I could remember, and it started to act up again when I started working with the headphones and the constant sound right in my eardrum. By the end of my two weeks, my ear was ready to explode, or at least thats what it felt like. Even with Dr. perscribed drops, the problem didn't get better. The drops actually made me lose my hearing for a couple das after I took it, so after that I had to be real careful when to take them. Because trust me, if theres anything worst then a telemarketer, its a DEAF telemarketer.
Ok, I think I'm going to hell with it now. I'll write again tomorrow.
On another note, it really upsets me that Ryan never checks this. I got on his case a while ago about writing in his journal, and he told me he had no interest in it. It kind of hurts to hear him say that, cause I put so much time and effort into making it look good for him. But, thats not important to me. If he doesn't want to use his journal, thats his business. But I think he should open up mine every now and then, just to see whats on my mind. Don't get me wrong, I don't keep anything from Ryan. Theres just some things that are best said, well, written. I think at this point, even if I mentioned writing something in my journal, he wouldn't read it. I guess I'm being silly, cause I know he cares about me a lot. I'd just like him to read my journal every now and then. Maybe he'd learn somthing new about me that he overlooked or was just too plain stupid to figure out before. :)
So, the job hunt continues. Its very hard. Nobody gives a 20 year old a chance to do anything if they're not a student. Do I have to go to University or college just to get a minimum wage job? All I ask is an interview. Maybe ask WHY I'm not in school, instead of just assuming that I'm out here living with my parents and I'm just looking for a job for something to do (god I HATE that!!!). I DON'T live in a rent-free envornment. I DO need money! GO SCREW YOURSELF!!!! I've looked on the job bank about a million times, and everything thing I see is no good for me. They're either asking for a shit load of experiance and credentials, or its a telemarketing job. Ryan was trying to put it into my head to try for something like that because of my experiance. I did like it, it was by FAR my favorite job so far, but it just wasn't good on my ear. I've had a problem with it since I could remember, and it started to act up again when I started working with the headphones and the constant sound right in my eardrum. By the end of my two weeks, my ear was ready to explode, or at least thats what it felt like. Even with Dr. perscribed drops, the problem didn't get better. The drops actually made me lose my hearing for a couple das after I took it, so after that I had to be real careful when to take them. Because trust me, if theres anything worst then a telemarketer, its a DEAF telemarketer.
Ok, I think I'm going to hell with it now. I'll write again tomorrow.