FIC: Impasse (Chapter Twelve)
Konbanwa, minnasan! I hope everyone out there in Cyberland is doing well! I'm still recovering from my cyatica in my back, but I'm feeling a lot better. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes you've sent me, that means the world to me! (I am grateful to have Saturday off from work though!)
Cosplay news, I got the fabric for Josh and my's "Super Junior T" outfits. Man, that is some ugly cloth. ::chuckles:: So hopefully I can get the jackets made in the next couple weeks and then Josh (Kangin) and myself (Eeteuk) will be happily running around as KangTeuk at NDK in Denver this year!
Now to what some of you have been waiting for. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I confess that I actually started crying after writing the first 1/3, then the 2nd 1/3 I teared up even more, and by the final 1/3, I ended it on a lighter note. (Mostly because it's going to get REALLY dark from here on in until the end, minnasan!)
I thought I'd post a little list here too for those of you who'd like to hear or look up the music that inspired this fic!
"Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis (A MAJOR driving force in this work.)
"Carry You Home" by James Blunt
"Slave to Love" by Bryan Ferry
"One" by Epik High
"Our Love Will Always Last" by Edward Chun
"Don't Don" by Super Junior
"Deliver Me" by Sarah Brightman
"Boum Boum" by Enigma
"Impasse"
By: Miracle Shining
PAIRINGS: HanHae, HanTeuk, TeukHae, HanTeukHae, SiHan (past tense), KyuMin, ShinChul, etc.
RATINGS: PG-13 to NC-17 (will be notated if NC-17)
GROUPS: Super Junior, DBSK, Kitty GYM, KAT-TUN
GENRE: Action/Romance/Angst
WARNINGS: Violence, Sexual Situations, Dark Themes, Character Death
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Don't own them, never will, but thanks for reading!
SUMMARY: AU Storyline~In the South Korean underworld, a popular form of entertainment is fighting matches. Men are judged by the fighters they own. A troubled fighter with a past catches the attention of two long time friends and may lead them both to the brink of obsession.
*****
CHAPTER TWELVE: The First Wave
The sun never managed to make it completely through the clouds as dawn cast its tired spell over the city. The clouds shimmered with hints of light but no pure beams could be witnessed. Hankyung still gazed at his picture windows as the rain trickled lightly. The water could be seen through the dim rays of morning flowing over Junsu's expensive granite walkways. The elaborate rosebushes were weighted down with almost too much moisture. The morning felt a strange blend of calm and tension. Hankyung's attention turned to the person still resting against him. Donghae made a quiet little noise and then bit his fingernail in his sleep. Something about the simple act made the Chinese man nearly smile.
Everything with Donghae was still very new to Hankyung. He stroked his fingers through the dark hair as the young man snuggled closer into the warmth of his body. He was completely different from Siwon. He was small and lilthe where Siwon had been tall and very strong. Donghae saw things quite differently from the rest of world, with such an air of innocence. Though Siwon believed in innocence, he had been fighting long enough to know there wasn't much left of it in the world they inhabited. Even their scents were very different. Siwon always had reminded Hankyung of cedar, sand, and the distant scent of the city at night. Donghae smelt like mint, early morning and the barest hint of the ocean.
The ocean.
That was what Donghae reminded Hankyung of. The white haired man gazed down at his smaller partner. Donghae who had never really loved yet, but somehow was completely free. Donghae, who saw past his wall and saw the person that ached terribly inside. Donghae, who had rescued him just as he almost had toppled off his own private cliff. Donghae, who had shown him Siwon would have wanted him to live again and most of all to love. Donghae, the single person who had managed to do all of this without even trying.
Hankyung realized at that quiet moment that he was falling in love. Instead of the chilled feeling he had assumed would come, there was a warm sensation that just touched the very center of his heart. He reached up his hand and laid it over the puckered scar as he had so many days and nights before. It was as if the warmth was stemming from that one small area. Hankyung closed his eyes and laid his head back against the side of the bed. For the first time in over three years, a truly serene smile graced his usually hardened face. He opened up his eyes slowly and focused on the ceiling. He thought of Siwon at that moment and the joy he must be feeling in heaven knowing that Hankyung was starting to heal.
"Thank you, my Charmer, for helping Donghae find me." Hankyung mentally whispered.
The Chinese man's gaze turned to his windows once again. For the briefest moment, the clouds broke and a small shimmering beam of light came down from the sky. Hankyung watched it in awe before it slowly faded again. It was the answer he had been seeking.
"Hankyung?" Donghae murmured softly against his chest.
"Hmm?"
"Did you sleep any?"
Donghae was rubbing his eyes and yawning softly. Hankyung's expression softened and he barely smiled, still getting accustomed to showing any emotion at all.
"I'm used to not sleeping much. You seem to rest better when you're with someone."
The smaller youth nodded.
"I'm used to sleeping with Teukieah all the time."
"Ah."
"You look different this morning."
"What do you mean?" Hankyung questioned.
Donghae shrugged a little, but grinned brightly.
"I don't know, you just seem different. But in a good way."
The white haired man rested his forehead momentarily against Donghae's. There was a quiet knock on the door that interrupted their private moment. Hankyung looked up and his whole persona changed. He eyed the door suspiciously. Donghae could actually feel the muscles tense in Hankyung's arms and chest.
"Hannieah?" he could hardly whisper.
The door opened up and Kibum poked his head in. He pushed his glasses up his nose slightly and raised an eyebrow upon seeing Donghae wrapped up with Hankyung.
"Should I come back another time?"
The crimson blush appearing on Donghae's face made Hankyung almost laugh. He kept the sound caught in his throat and shook his head.
"Is there something I can help you with, Kibum?"
"Actually, there is."
Kibum stepped into the room, not bothering to take off his shoes. He crossed the rich wooden floor and then knelt beside the two men.
"I have someone who's been waiting to meet with you for some time, Hankyung. If possible, I'd like you to come with me and see him today."
Hankyung's eyes narrowed.
"And why would I do that?" he questioned, his voice slightly chilled.
"Because if you don't, it will be another very big regret in your life." Kibum answered simply.
The white haired man tilted his head. His fighter instinct told him to refuse the offer. But Kibum never seemed to be one who would cause Hankyung trouble. The taller man finally agreed.
"If you'd like, you can also come, Donghae." Kibum added.
"Um, okay."
"Can you both be ready in half an hour?"
"Why so soon?"
"Time is of the essence for him, Hankyung. I'll not have anyone, even you, waste it." Kibum responded sharply.
The Chinese man was mildly surprised by Kibum's forcefulness.
"We can be ready in half an hour."
"Meet me in Junsu's garage. I'll be waiting for you both."
Kibum then stood, crossed the room, and exited out the door as quietly as he had entered. Donghae sat there blinking as the tan blanket slid off his shoulders and pooled around his waist.
"What was that about?"
"I don't know." Hankyung replied. "Are you friends with Kibum?"
"We know each other through Eeteuk and Junsu. I don't know if we're exactly friends but he's always been really nice to me."
Hankyung nodded slightly and then rose with the grace well practiced over the years. He offered Donghae his hand. The younger man took it carefully and stood. He winced from not only his shoulder, but being unaccustomed to sleeping in a sitting position on hard floor.
"Let's get in the shower. I'll get your shoulder taken care of and then we'll meet up with Kibum."
"Okay."
Donghae followed Hankyung into the bathroom. Though the Chinese man said nothing, Donghae could feel the tension already forming in his frame. He prayed silently that whomever Kibum was having them meet would not crush the man he knew he was in love with.
*****
The elegant black car pulled up to a small hospital. Donghae looked at the building with curiosity. Hankyung and he had met Kibum down in the garage. The trio had crawled into the vehicle and then had driven for nearly an hour and a half. The building was located on the outskirts of Seoul near some residential sections. The area was quiet and there were some birds singing in the trees despite the rain beginning to trickle again.
The driver stepped out and opened the door. Kibum slid out and then waited for Hankyung and Donghae to join him.
"We'll be back in a little while." Kibum told the driver. "I'll call when we're ready to be picked up."
The man nodded and slipped back into the driver seat. The three of them watched as the car pulled around the bend and then seemed to vanish out of the parking lot.
"Follow me."
Without thought, Donghae gripped Hankyung's hand. It was something he instinctively did when he felt out of place or nervous. The taller man looked over and then opened up his fingers, lacing them through his smaller friend's. Donghae gave Hankyung a look of deep gratitude.
Kibum bypassed the main desk, the nurse not even bothering to look up and acknowledge any of them. They stepped into the elevator. Kibum pressed their desired floor and then stepped back.
"Why is this person in the hospital?" Hankyung questioned quietly.
"You'll know soon enough." Kibum answered cryptically.
The elevator came to a stop and the doors hissed open quietly. The smell of antiseptics and an underlying hint of plastic and latex flooded their senses. Donghae shook his head and coughed a little. He had been in too many hospitals the past couple days and the smell made him a little dizzy. Hankyung inwardly frowned as Kibum approached the nurse's station.
"Oh, Mr. Kim!" the nurse said surprised. "We weren't expecting you until tomorrow!"
"Is he awake?"
"Yes, in fact he's sitting up today."
Kibum's face changed dramatically. His dark eyes softened and his lips drew up in a near smile. He coughed a little as if he was trying to clear his throat. Taking a deep breath, he turned to the other two men.
"If you'd follow me."
Hankyung and Donghae followed Kibum down the corridor. They stopped at the door as Kibum paused before turning to the both of them.
"If you'd give me a moment, I want to make sure he's feeling up to more than my visit."
Kibum slipped through the door and then there was barely audible conversation. Hankyung's eyebrows knitted together. His face looked confused as he tried to concentrate on the second voice.
"Hankyung?"
"I... I swear I know that other voice." he whispered more to himself than Donghae.
Kibum suddenly appeared at the door.
"He'll see you both now." he said quietly.
The raven haired man drew the door open farther and allowed the two men to enter. From the small entryway, all they could see was an empty hospital bed and the entertainment center. Hankyung took a couple steps forward and then found himself frozen.
A small young man sat with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. An oxygen tube hung from his nose as well as small IV that was positioned next to the chair. His short, spiky light brown hair was messed up, but his large brown eyes were gentle as they gazed as Hankyung.
Donghae felt his hand released. His attention turned to Hankyung's face. A myriad of emotions flashed through his eyes. Tears began to slide down the tall man's cheeks and drip to the floor. There was silence between the two as they continued to stare at one another. Finally, the youth in the chair spoke.
"Hello, hyung." he whispered.
"Ryeowook." Hankyung barely choked out.
The man's legs seem to move on their own and he made the few steps across the room. He reached out his long fingered hands and almost touched Ryeowook's face. The saline continued to fall as he lowered himself down in front of the small man. Without thought, he leaned forward and rested his head on his lap. The sobs came unbidden as if everything that was negative left in him was being leeched out. Ryeowook raised a hand and then laid it on Hankyung's white hair.
Kibum stood next to Donghae. He placed a hand on the young man's good shoulder. Donghae watched as Hankyung's shoulders shook. The man was crying almost as hard as when he had broken down the previous night. Just seeing Hankyung in that much pain made him ache. The tears slid unbidden down his cheeks and he felt as though his heart was breaking over and over for each strained sound Hankyung made.
"Who... who is he?" Donghae whispered to Kibum, his voice trembling.
"His name is Ryeowook. He's Siwon's little brother."
Donghae turned his eyes to the two men. Ryeowook was gently stroking Hankyung's hair as the man brought his arms around the youth's waist. He turned his head slightly on Ryeowook's lap. The blanket and part of his hospital gown were stained with Hankyung's tears.
"Forgive me." the white haired man sobbed. "Forgive me for everything."
"Hangeng, you were forgiven a long time ago." Ryeowook said softly.
"But I abandoned you." Hankyung stated as he lifted his head to finally gaze at Ryeowook's soft eyes.
"Yes, you did." he responded. "But you never really did because I always knew where you were."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember the night that Siwon died? I wouldn't tell you the name of my friend because I thought my big brother would make fun of him?"
Hankyung nodded. Ryeowook gave a tiny smile and pointed to Kibum standing next to Donghae.
"That man was Kibum."
Donghae blinked a couple times and stared at the man beside him. Kibum remained with a somewhat quiet expression on his face and then pushed his glasses up his nose again.
"But he came three days after it. I don't understand." Hankyung implored.
"Kibum had just started to work for Xiah Junsu. I know that Kangin had plans to get both of you under his fighting circuit. The night of Siwon's birthday he had told me there were two fighters he was sent to scout out, the Dancer and the Charmer. I told him that you were both my older brothers. Then... Then the accident happened."
Ryeowook paused and drew in a shuddered breath. The hum of the oxygen machine brought an almost cruel reminder to Hankyung of how delicate his surrogate brother's health had been.
"It was no accident." the Chinese man hissed.
The smaller youth touched Hankyung's face gently.
"When Kibum came to you three days later, he had asked you if there was anyone you wanted to contact. He knew your relation to me at that point in time. When you said 'no', he simply agreed and returned that night to tell me."
Ryeowook's expression tightened and a small choked sob caught in his throat. He forced the tears down as he held Hankyung's gaze.
"I wanted to make you hurt for that, Hannieah. I wanted to make you pay for everything. I wanted you to suffer because not only was Siwon gone but you left me alone too. I wanted revenge on you and the world."
"Ryeowook." Hankyung grasped the hands that were now framing his face. The small young man drew in a few more deep breaths and seemed to bring himself under control.
"But that revenge against you faded, hyung. Because you were my brother and I could never stop loving you. Over the next three years, I started to get sicker and sicker. Kibum kept tabs on you and your training as I spent more and more time in the hospital. I wish I had taken both of your advice and went to the doctor."
The light brown haired man let out a strained laugh that almost broke Hankyung's soul. He brought Ryeowook's hands forward and pressed a kiss to each palm.
"I will never be able to be sorry enough for leaving you alone."
"But that's where you're wrong, Hangeng. I was never truly alone when I realized Kibum was always there for me. I still want revenge, hyung. But I want revenge on the one who did this to all of us. Who tore us apart at the seams. I know what happened to you at the cage match. I didn't see everything because I had a seizure, but Kibum told me what I had missed."
Ryeowook's eyes drew up and caught Donghae's eyes.
"Are you Donghae?"
The young man gave an awkward nod. Ryeowook smiled so warmly at Donghae it made his soul feel happy.
"Thank you for saving my big brother. I was so afraid that he would never learn to live again. That none of us would. But what you did, it made me realize life is too precious to waste. Deep down, I know Siwon would have wanted it that way. Will you try and take care of Hangeng for me?"
The question stunned Donghae. He swallowed hard. Ryeowook's expression was gentle and very loving.
"Yes."
Ryeowook turned his attention then to Hankyung kneeling still in front of him.
"Will you let me forgive you so that you can finally forgive yourself?"
The white haired man saw the softness in Ryewook's eyes. He felt another small part of him heal at that moment. A little more water flowed evenly where the wall had been previously.
"I... I will try."
"And that's all we can do, hyung. I've missed you so much."
Ryeowook threw his arms around Hankyung's neck and hugged the man tightly. Hankyung paused only a moment before embracing his little brother.
Donghae watched the two men and then glanced over at Kibum. The normally mellow appearing man was wiping the droplets from his eyes. He reached over and took his hand with his. The act surprised Kibum and he gazed down at their latched hands. Kibum then smiled slightly and squeezed Donghae's fingers.
A mutual silence fell over the small hospital room as the rain came down gently over their heads.
*****
Junsu sighed softly and sat behind his desk. The morning business that had to be attended to was finally finished. He pushed the papers to the side and then fiddled a little with the pens that were scattered. The red light on his voice intercom lit up. Junsu pushed the receive button.
"Yes?"
"The fighters and their trainers are here to speak with your, sir."
"Thank you, please send them in."
The heavy, elaborate doors opened slowly. Eunhyuk was the first to enter with Kangin at his side. KyuHyun and Sungmin followed after the duo, their hands laced together. Yoochun appeared to the side with Yamapi, Golf and Mike following behind him. Finally, Jaejoong came into view.
"Where are the others?" Junsu questioned.
"Yunho had to run an errand. He told me to take notes." Jaejoong said dryly.
"Changmin wasn't feeling well, I think he caught a cold from the rain or something." Yoochun responded.
"That sounds like Changmin." Eunhyuk retorted.
"What about Hankyung?"
"Someone said they saw him leave with Kibum and that Donghae kid."
Kangin frowned.
"Didn't they say where they were going?"
"No, just left."
The trainer didn't say anything but glanced back at KyuHyun and Sungmin. He mouthed a simple 'on your toes' to them. Though the others didn't see it, the duo responded with the slightest motion of their free hands.
Junsu leaned back in his chair. He had wanted all the fighters and trainers to be present. But this was a situation that couldn't wait.
"As you all know, the fight a couple days ago ended in disaster. Though the details of what happened are somewhat sketchy, it is believed that the person who fired at Hankyung was someone hired by Minwoo."
There was a buzz of quiet voices among almost everyone. Kangin remained silent, folding his arms across his strong chest.
"So what are you going to do about Minwoo? He must know the game pretty well if he managed to get poor Jin and Kame out of retirement." Kangin finally quipped.
Eunhyuk placed a hand on the taller man's shoulder.
"Minwoo has been a long time business associate of Junsu. He wouldn't have known." Eunhyuk stated in Junsu's defense.
The short haired man gazed at his long time friend with a look of gratitude. Kangin eased down then, but kept his arms still crossed in a defensive manner.
"But having seen what happened to Jin and to our friend Donghae, I have decided to let anyone who wants to out of their contractual agreements, no questions asked."
Once again the room came alive with quiet voices. Junsu's attention immediately turned to Yoochun and Changmin's trio. Yamapi was speaking with Golf and Mike in their native language. It was unnerving to Junsu as he could see the three of them glancing between themselves and then back at Junsu. Yoochun just waited patiently. He was quite used to the three of them having these conversations in a different language. After a few more strained moments, Yamapi finally spoke.
"I would like to return back to Tokyo." he simply said.
Junsu had been expecting that and he nodded.
"We would like to go with him." Golf stated quietly.
"But we would like Yoochun and Changmin to return with us." Mike added.
Junsu briefly wondered if his face looked half as stunned as the others that were standing in the room. Eunhyuk walked over to Yoochun. The man was smiling mildly.
"Yoochun?"
"I always wanted to actually see Tokyo. Changmin has been bothering me that we haven't went on a vacation in ages."
"So, you're going then?" Jaejoong asked softly.
"Only for a little while." Yoochun said quietly. "Maybe a year or two. We want to help Yamapi, Golf and Mike set up their own training center. If that's okay with you, Junsu."
Junsu felt a little heartbroken that his long time friends had made that decision.
"Will you come back to work for my fighting circuit after that?"
Yoochun smiled warmly.
"Couldn't imagine being away from Seoul for too long. We'll be back if you'll have us."
Junsu was inwardly relieved and gave a nod.
"I'll have the lawyers draw up a different addendum to your contracts then. Yamapi, Golf and Mike, thank you for the fighting you've done for me. I wish that you would stay."
To everyone's shock, Yamapi actually bowed to Junsu. Golf and Mike then held up their hands in in a prayer fashion and did a slight bow traditional of their homeland.
"You were very good to us, Junsusama." Yamapi said adding the honorific to Junsu's name.
"Jaejoong, what about you?"
"Yunho says he wants to stay. He likes it here. I do too." the man said quietly.
That made Junsu feel a little better.
"KyuHyun and Sungmin? You've just started under my circuit. What do you both wish to do?"
Kangin turned to his two pupils and gestured for them to come forward. The trio spoke in very soft voices. After what felt like another long period of time for Junsu, they seperated.
"We'd like to stay for a little while." Sungmin answered.
"As long as Kangin can still work with us." KyuHyun added.
"Kangin?"
The rougher man ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. He blew out a breath and then popped his neck once.
"I stick with my duo and the Dancer. Whatever Hangeng decides though, it's up to him."
"Then we'll wait for his answer. If anyone else decides to change their minds again, please come to my office."
There was a murmur of agreement before Kangin suddenly spoke up again.
"Hey, aren't you going to ask Eunhyuk if he stays or goes?"
Eunhyuk punched Kangin in the arm. The whole group suddenly burst out laughing. Just briefly, everyone remembered exactly why they used to have so much fun.
Cosplay news, I got the fabric for Josh and my's "Super Junior T" outfits. Man, that is some ugly cloth. ::chuckles:: So hopefully I can get the jackets made in the next couple weeks and then Josh (Kangin) and myself (Eeteuk) will be happily running around as KangTeuk at NDK in Denver this year!
Now to what some of you have been waiting for. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I confess that I actually started crying after writing the first 1/3, then the 2nd 1/3 I teared up even more, and by the final 1/3, I ended it on a lighter note. (Mostly because it's going to get REALLY dark from here on in until the end, minnasan!)
I thought I'd post a little list here too for those of you who'd like to hear or look up the music that inspired this fic!
"Bleeding Love" by Leona Lewis (A MAJOR driving force in this work.)
"Carry You Home" by James Blunt
"Slave to Love" by Bryan Ferry
"One" by Epik High
"Our Love Will Always Last" by Edward Chun
"Don't Don" by Super Junior
"Deliver Me" by Sarah Brightman
"Boum Boum" by Enigma
"Impasse"
By: Miracle Shining
PAIRINGS: HanHae, HanTeuk, TeukHae, HanTeukHae, SiHan (past tense), KyuMin, ShinChul, etc.
RATINGS: PG-13 to NC-17 (will be notated if NC-17)
GROUPS: Super Junior, DBSK, Kitty GYM, KAT-TUN
GENRE: Action/Romance/Angst
WARNINGS: Violence, Sexual Situations, Dark Themes, Character Death
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Don't own them, never will, but thanks for reading!
SUMMARY: AU Storyline~In the South Korean underworld, a popular form of entertainment is fighting matches. Men are judged by the fighters they own. A troubled fighter with a past catches the attention of two long time friends and may lead them both to the brink of obsession.
*****
CHAPTER TWELVE: The First Wave
The sun never managed to make it completely through the clouds as dawn cast its tired spell over the city. The clouds shimmered with hints of light but no pure beams could be witnessed. Hankyung still gazed at his picture windows as the rain trickled lightly. The water could be seen through the dim rays of morning flowing over Junsu's expensive granite walkways. The elaborate rosebushes were weighted down with almost too much moisture. The morning felt a strange blend of calm and tension. Hankyung's attention turned to the person still resting against him. Donghae made a quiet little noise and then bit his fingernail in his sleep. Something about the simple act made the Chinese man nearly smile.
Everything with Donghae was still very new to Hankyung. He stroked his fingers through the dark hair as the young man snuggled closer into the warmth of his body. He was completely different from Siwon. He was small and lilthe where Siwon had been tall and very strong. Donghae saw things quite differently from the rest of world, with such an air of innocence. Though Siwon believed in innocence, he had been fighting long enough to know there wasn't much left of it in the world they inhabited. Even their scents were very different. Siwon always had reminded Hankyung of cedar, sand, and the distant scent of the city at night. Donghae smelt like mint, early morning and the barest hint of the ocean.
The ocean.
That was what Donghae reminded Hankyung of. The white haired man gazed down at his smaller partner. Donghae who had never really loved yet, but somehow was completely free. Donghae, who saw past his wall and saw the person that ached terribly inside. Donghae, who had rescued him just as he almost had toppled off his own private cliff. Donghae, who had shown him Siwon would have wanted him to live again and most of all to love. Donghae, the single person who had managed to do all of this without even trying.
Hankyung realized at that quiet moment that he was falling in love. Instead of the chilled feeling he had assumed would come, there was a warm sensation that just touched the very center of his heart. He reached up his hand and laid it over the puckered scar as he had so many days and nights before. It was as if the warmth was stemming from that one small area. Hankyung closed his eyes and laid his head back against the side of the bed. For the first time in over three years, a truly serene smile graced his usually hardened face. He opened up his eyes slowly and focused on the ceiling. He thought of Siwon at that moment and the joy he must be feeling in heaven knowing that Hankyung was starting to heal.
"Thank you, my Charmer, for helping Donghae find me." Hankyung mentally whispered.
The Chinese man's gaze turned to his windows once again. For the briefest moment, the clouds broke and a small shimmering beam of light came down from the sky. Hankyung watched it in awe before it slowly faded again. It was the answer he had been seeking.
"Hankyung?" Donghae murmured softly against his chest.
"Hmm?"
"Did you sleep any?"
Donghae was rubbing his eyes and yawning softly. Hankyung's expression softened and he barely smiled, still getting accustomed to showing any emotion at all.
"I'm used to not sleeping much. You seem to rest better when you're with someone."
The smaller youth nodded.
"I'm used to sleeping with Teukieah all the time."
"Ah."
"You look different this morning."
"What do you mean?" Hankyung questioned.
Donghae shrugged a little, but grinned brightly.
"I don't know, you just seem different. But in a good way."
The white haired man rested his forehead momentarily against Donghae's. There was a quiet knock on the door that interrupted their private moment. Hankyung looked up and his whole persona changed. He eyed the door suspiciously. Donghae could actually feel the muscles tense in Hankyung's arms and chest.
"Hannieah?" he could hardly whisper.
The door opened up and Kibum poked his head in. He pushed his glasses up his nose slightly and raised an eyebrow upon seeing Donghae wrapped up with Hankyung.
"Should I come back another time?"
The crimson blush appearing on Donghae's face made Hankyung almost laugh. He kept the sound caught in his throat and shook his head.
"Is there something I can help you with, Kibum?"
"Actually, there is."
Kibum stepped into the room, not bothering to take off his shoes. He crossed the rich wooden floor and then knelt beside the two men.
"I have someone who's been waiting to meet with you for some time, Hankyung. If possible, I'd like you to come with me and see him today."
Hankyung's eyes narrowed.
"And why would I do that?" he questioned, his voice slightly chilled.
"Because if you don't, it will be another very big regret in your life." Kibum answered simply.
The white haired man tilted his head. His fighter instinct told him to refuse the offer. But Kibum never seemed to be one who would cause Hankyung trouble. The taller man finally agreed.
"If you'd like, you can also come, Donghae." Kibum added.
"Um, okay."
"Can you both be ready in half an hour?"
"Why so soon?"
"Time is of the essence for him, Hankyung. I'll not have anyone, even you, waste it." Kibum responded sharply.
The Chinese man was mildly surprised by Kibum's forcefulness.
"We can be ready in half an hour."
"Meet me in Junsu's garage. I'll be waiting for you both."
Kibum then stood, crossed the room, and exited out the door as quietly as he had entered. Donghae sat there blinking as the tan blanket slid off his shoulders and pooled around his waist.
"What was that about?"
"I don't know." Hankyung replied. "Are you friends with Kibum?"
"We know each other through Eeteuk and Junsu. I don't know if we're exactly friends but he's always been really nice to me."
Hankyung nodded slightly and then rose with the grace well practiced over the years. He offered Donghae his hand. The younger man took it carefully and stood. He winced from not only his shoulder, but being unaccustomed to sleeping in a sitting position on hard floor.
"Let's get in the shower. I'll get your shoulder taken care of and then we'll meet up with Kibum."
"Okay."
Donghae followed Hankyung into the bathroom. Though the Chinese man said nothing, Donghae could feel the tension already forming in his frame. He prayed silently that whomever Kibum was having them meet would not crush the man he knew he was in love with.
*****
The elegant black car pulled up to a small hospital. Donghae looked at the building with curiosity. Hankyung and he had met Kibum down in the garage. The trio had crawled into the vehicle and then had driven for nearly an hour and a half. The building was located on the outskirts of Seoul near some residential sections. The area was quiet and there were some birds singing in the trees despite the rain beginning to trickle again.
The driver stepped out and opened the door. Kibum slid out and then waited for Hankyung and Donghae to join him.
"We'll be back in a little while." Kibum told the driver. "I'll call when we're ready to be picked up."
The man nodded and slipped back into the driver seat. The three of them watched as the car pulled around the bend and then seemed to vanish out of the parking lot.
"Follow me."
Without thought, Donghae gripped Hankyung's hand. It was something he instinctively did when he felt out of place or nervous. The taller man looked over and then opened up his fingers, lacing them through his smaller friend's. Donghae gave Hankyung a look of deep gratitude.
Kibum bypassed the main desk, the nurse not even bothering to look up and acknowledge any of them. They stepped into the elevator. Kibum pressed their desired floor and then stepped back.
"Why is this person in the hospital?" Hankyung questioned quietly.
"You'll know soon enough." Kibum answered cryptically.
The elevator came to a stop and the doors hissed open quietly. The smell of antiseptics and an underlying hint of plastic and latex flooded their senses. Donghae shook his head and coughed a little. He had been in too many hospitals the past couple days and the smell made him a little dizzy. Hankyung inwardly frowned as Kibum approached the nurse's station.
"Oh, Mr. Kim!" the nurse said surprised. "We weren't expecting you until tomorrow!"
"Is he awake?"
"Yes, in fact he's sitting up today."
Kibum's face changed dramatically. His dark eyes softened and his lips drew up in a near smile. He coughed a little as if he was trying to clear his throat. Taking a deep breath, he turned to the other two men.
"If you'd follow me."
Hankyung and Donghae followed Kibum down the corridor. They stopped at the door as Kibum paused before turning to the both of them.
"If you'd give me a moment, I want to make sure he's feeling up to more than my visit."
Kibum slipped through the door and then there was barely audible conversation. Hankyung's eyebrows knitted together. His face looked confused as he tried to concentrate on the second voice.
"Hankyung?"
"I... I swear I know that other voice." he whispered more to himself than Donghae.
Kibum suddenly appeared at the door.
"He'll see you both now." he said quietly.
The raven haired man drew the door open farther and allowed the two men to enter. From the small entryway, all they could see was an empty hospital bed and the entertainment center. Hankyung took a couple steps forward and then found himself frozen.
A small young man sat with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. An oxygen tube hung from his nose as well as small IV that was positioned next to the chair. His short, spiky light brown hair was messed up, but his large brown eyes were gentle as they gazed as Hankyung.
Donghae felt his hand released. His attention turned to Hankyung's face. A myriad of emotions flashed through his eyes. Tears began to slide down the tall man's cheeks and drip to the floor. There was silence between the two as they continued to stare at one another. Finally, the youth in the chair spoke.
"Hello, hyung." he whispered.
"Ryeowook." Hankyung barely choked out.
The man's legs seem to move on their own and he made the few steps across the room. He reached out his long fingered hands and almost touched Ryeowook's face. The saline continued to fall as he lowered himself down in front of the small man. Without thought, he leaned forward and rested his head on his lap. The sobs came unbidden as if everything that was negative left in him was being leeched out. Ryeowook raised a hand and then laid it on Hankyung's white hair.
Kibum stood next to Donghae. He placed a hand on the young man's good shoulder. Donghae watched as Hankyung's shoulders shook. The man was crying almost as hard as when he had broken down the previous night. Just seeing Hankyung in that much pain made him ache. The tears slid unbidden down his cheeks and he felt as though his heart was breaking over and over for each strained sound Hankyung made.
"Who... who is he?" Donghae whispered to Kibum, his voice trembling.
"His name is Ryeowook. He's Siwon's little brother."
Donghae turned his eyes to the two men. Ryeowook was gently stroking Hankyung's hair as the man brought his arms around the youth's waist. He turned his head slightly on Ryeowook's lap. The blanket and part of his hospital gown were stained with Hankyung's tears.
"Forgive me." the white haired man sobbed. "Forgive me for everything."
"Hangeng, you were forgiven a long time ago." Ryeowook said softly.
"But I abandoned you." Hankyung stated as he lifted his head to finally gaze at Ryeowook's soft eyes.
"Yes, you did." he responded. "But you never really did because I always knew where you were."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember the night that Siwon died? I wouldn't tell you the name of my friend because I thought my big brother would make fun of him?"
Hankyung nodded. Ryeowook gave a tiny smile and pointed to Kibum standing next to Donghae.
"That man was Kibum."
Donghae blinked a couple times and stared at the man beside him. Kibum remained with a somewhat quiet expression on his face and then pushed his glasses up his nose again.
"But he came three days after it. I don't understand." Hankyung implored.
"Kibum had just started to work for Xiah Junsu. I know that Kangin had plans to get both of you under his fighting circuit. The night of Siwon's birthday he had told me there were two fighters he was sent to scout out, the Dancer and the Charmer. I told him that you were both my older brothers. Then... Then the accident happened."
Ryeowook paused and drew in a shuddered breath. The hum of the oxygen machine brought an almost cruel reminder to Hankyung of how delicate his surrogate brother's health had been.
"It was no accident." the Chinese man hissed.
The smaller youth touched Hankyung's face gently.
"When Kibum came to you three days later, he had asked you if there was anyone you wanted to contact. He knew your relation to me at that point in time. When you said 'no', he simply agreed and returned that night to tell me."
Ryeowook's expression tightened and a small choked sob caught in his throat. He forced the tears down as he held Hankyung's gaze.
"I wanted to make you hurt for that, Hannieah. I wanted to make you pay for everything. I wanted you to suffer because not only was Siwon gone but you left me alone too. I wanted revenge on you and the world."
"Ryeowook." Hankyung grasped the hands that were now framing his face. The small young man drew in a few more deep breaths and seemed to bring himself under control.
"But that revenge against you faded, hyung. Because you were my brother and I could never stop loving you. Over the next three years, I started to get sicker and sicker. Kibum kept tabs on you and your training as I spent more and more time in the hospital. I wish I had taken both of your advice and went to the doctor."
The light brown haired man let out a strained laugh that almost broke Hankyung's soul. He brought Ryeowook's hands forward and pressed a kiss to each palm.
"I will never be able to be sorry enough for leaving you alone."
"But that's where you're wrong, Hangeng. I was never truly alone when I realized Kibum was always there for me. I still want revenge, hyung. But I want revenge on the one who did this to all of us. Who tore us apart at the seams. I know what happened to you at the cage match. I didn't see everything because I had a seizure, but Kibum told me what I had missed."
Ryeowook's eyes drew up and caught Donghae's eyes.
"Are you Donghae?"
The young man gave an awkward nod. Ryeowook smiled so warmly at Donghae it made his soul feel happy.
"Thank you for saving my big brother. I was so afraid that he would never learn to live again. That none of us would. But what you did, it made me realize life is too precious to waste. Deep down, I know Siwon would have wanted it that way. Will you try and take care of Hangeng for me?"
The question stunned Donghae. He swallowed hard. Ryeowook's expression was gentle and very loving.
"Yes."
Ryeowook turned his attention then to Hankyung kneeling still in front of him.
"Will you let me forgive you so that you can finally forgive yourself?"
The white haired man saw the softness in Ryewook's eyes. He felt another small part of him heal at that moment. A little more water flowed evenly where the wall had been previously.
"I... I will try."
"And that's all we can do, hyung. I've missed you so much."
Ryeowook threw his arms around Hankyung's neck and hugged the man tightly. Hankyung paused only a moment before embracing his little brother.
Donghae watched the two men and then glanced over at Kibum. The normally mellow appearing man was wiping the droplets from his eyes. He reached over and took his hand with his. The act surprised Kibum and he gazed down at their latched hands. Kibum then smiled slightly and squeezed Donghae's fingers.
A mutual silence fell over the small hospital room as the rain came down gently over their heads.
*****
Junsu sighed softly and sat behind his desk. The morning business that had to be attended to was finally finished. He pushed the papers to the side and then fiddled a little with the pens that were scattered. The red light on his voice intercom lit up. Junsu pushed the receive button.
"Yes?"
"The fighters and their trainers are here to speak with your, sir."
"Thank you, please send them in."
The heavy, elaborate doors opened slowly. Eunhyuk was the first to enter with Kangin at his side. KyuHyun and Sungmin followed after the duo, their hands laced together. Yoochun appeared to the side with Yamapi, Golf and Mike following behind him. Finally, Jaejoong came into view.
"Where are the others?" Junsu questioned.
"Yunho had to run an errand. He told me to take notes." Jaejoong said dryly.
"Changmin wasn't feeling well, I think he caught a cold from the rain or something." Yoochun responded.
"That sounds like Changmin." Eunhyuk retorted.
"What about Hankyung?"
"Someone said they saw him leave with Kibum and that Donghae kid."
Kangin frowned.
"Didn't they say where they were going?"
"No, just left."
The trainer didn't say anything but glanced back at KyuHyun and Sungmin. He mouthed a simple 'on your toes' to them. Though the others didn't see it, the duo responded with the slightest motion of their free hands.
Junsu leaned back in his chair. He had wanted all the fighters and trainers to be present. But this was a situation that couldn't wait.
"As you all know, the fight a couple days ago ended in disaster. Though the details of what happened are somewhat sketchy, it is believed that the person who fired at Hankyung was someone hired by Minwoo."
There was a buzz of quiet voices among almost everyone. Kangin remained silent, folding his arms across his strong chest.
"So what are you going to do about Minwoo? He must know the game pretty well if he managed to get poor Jin and Kame out of retirement." Kangin finally quipped.
Eunhyuk placed a hand on the taller man's shoulder.
"Minwoo has been a long time business associate of Junsu. He wouldn't have known." Eunhyuk stated in Junsu's defense.
The short haired man gazed at his long time friend with a look of gratitude. Kangin eased down then, but kept his arms still crossed in a defensive manner.
"But having seen what happened to Jin and to our friend Donghae, I have decided to let anyone who wants to out of their contractual agreements, no questions asked."
Once again the room came alive with quiet voices. Junsu's attention immediately turned to Yoochun and Changmin's trio. Yamapi was speaking with Golf and Mike in their native language. It was unnerving to Junsu as he could see the three of them glancing between themselves and then back at Junsu. Yoochun just waited patiently. He was quite used to the three of them having these conversations in a different language. After a few more strained moments, Yamapi finally spoke.
"I would like to return back to Tokyo." he simply said.
Junsu had been expecting that and he nodded.
"We would like to go with him." Golf stated quietly.
"But we would like Yoochun and Changmin to return with us." Mike added.
Junsu briefly wondered if his face looked half as stunned as the others that were standing in the room. Eunhyuk walked over to Yoochun. The man was smiling mildly.
"Yoochun?"
"I always wanted to actually see Tokyo. Changmin has been bothering me that we haven't went on a vacation in ages."
"So, you're going then?" Jaejoong asked softly.
"Only for a little while." Yoochun said quietly. "Maybe a year or two. We want to help Yamapi, Golf and Mike set up their own training center. If that's okay with you, Junsu."
Junsu felt a little heartbroken that his long time friends had made that decision.
"Will you come back to work for my fighting circuit after that?"
Yoochun smiled warmly.
"Couldn't imagine being away from Seoul for too long. We'll be back if you'll have us."
Junsu was inwardly relieved and gave a nod.
"I'll have the lawyers draw up a different addendum to your contracts then. Yamapi, Golf and Mike, thank you for the fighting you've done for me. I wish that you would stay."
To everyone's shock, Yamapi actually bowed to Junsu. Golf and Mike then held up their hands in in a prayer fashion and did a slight bow traditional of their homeland.
"You were very good to us, Junsusama." Yamapi said adding the honorific to Junsu's name.
"Jaejoong, what about you?"
"Yunho says he wants to stay. He likes it here. I do too." the man said quietly.
That made Junsu feel a little better.
"KyuHyun and Sungmin? You've just started under my circuit. What do you both wish to do?"
Kangin turned to his two pupils and gestured for them to come forward. The trio spoke in very soft voices. After what felt like another long period of time for Junsu, they seperated.
"We'd like to stay for a little while." Sungmin answered.
"As long as Kangin can still work with us." KyuHyun added.
"Kangin?"
The rougher man ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. He blew out a breath and then popped his neck once.
"I stick with my duo and the Dancer. Whatever Hangeng decides though, it's up to him."
"Then we'll wait for his answer. If anyone else decides to change their minds again, please come to my office."
There was a murmur of agreement before Kangin suddenly spoke up again.
"Hey, aren't you going to ask Eunhyuk if he stays or goes?"
Eunhyuk punched Kangin in the arm. The whole group suddenly burst out laughing. Just briefly, everyone remembered exactly why they used to have so much fun.