Smiles
Title: Smiles
Length: one-shot/drabble
Author: TKder
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst, character death
Pairing: None
Summary: When all he could do was to smile.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the storyline.
Warning: Character Death!
Comments are greatly appreciated. :)
He knew he was falling. Falling into this bottomless pit of delusion and self-consolation. He could no longer differentiate what was real and what was fake. All he knew was that he had to smile. It was expected of him. How can Lee Donghae, the innocent, happy-go-lucky kid, not smile? So he smiled. When he was happy, he smiled. When he was angry, he smiled. Even when he was sad, he smiled. Regardless of all the mixed emotions running inside of him, no matter how much he wanted to break down and cry, he still smiled.
No one noticed that something was wrong. What could be wrong with a smiling Donghae? Perhaps, it’s also the fatique that caught on everyone, that they started to pay less attention to one another. The silly banters were now reduced to serious business-only talks with occasional jokes. The endless laughter that was always ringing in the air was replaced by silence, with the occasional snores and hushed whispers. Donghae knew everyone was as tired as he was and they too, were putting up fake smiles to the camera. So he continued smiling. He smiled so naturally that even he was disgusted with himself for being a hypocrite.
Donghae sat on his bed, reminding himself of what a hypocrite he was. How could he smile when all he wanted to do was to break down and cry? He shuts his eyes and let the memories of the last few smiles haunt him. Real or fake, he couldn’t tell. As the memories rolled back one by one, he allowed the razor in his hands to run freely across his wrist. Allowing the flow of crimson red to trickle down his arms and taint his white bedspread. With each cut he made, he felt free. Like he was released from the bounds that were suffocating him.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Flashback
“Hae! Let’s try out this new game that I just bought. I bet I can win you hands down this time.” Eunhyuk bragged as he dragged Donghae out to play. Donghae smiled.
“Donghae ah, come and have some Beijing fried rice. You’re getting skinnier by the day.” Hankyung nagged as he scooped a huge portion of his speciality. Donghae smiled.
“Donghae ah, are you dreaming about aliens again? I can’t believe that you still believe in this. How old are you? 3?” Kangin teased as he shook Donghae out of his thoughts. Donghae smiled.
“Aish! Donghae! Why do you keep messing up? We’ve gone through this routine so many times, yet you still messed up. Don’t get too complacent just because you’re one of the better dancers. The other members are putting in a lot of effort. Don’t pull everyone down with you! Aish!” Leeteuk scolded as he prepared the others to repeat the routine again. Donghae mumbled an apology and smiled.
“Lee Donghae! What did you think you were doing when you said those things on national TV? Do you know the consequences of your words? Why can’t you think before you speak? If you keep this up, one day, you’ll be the cause of the of the fall of Super Junior!” Their manager yelled as he paced about, thinking of how to clear up the mess Donghae created. Donghae hung his head low and smiled.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
When multiple calls to Donghae to get him to come out for dinner went unheeded, did the members find something amiss. It was one of their rare nights off and they were all so looking forward to the long awaited “all thirteen” dinner gathering. While some others were unable to wait, and started wolfing down the food, Siwon stood up to call Donghae out for dinner.
When Siwon opened the door to Donghae’s bedroom, his eyes widened at the sight before him and let out a cry of anguish. Lying in front of his eyes was Donghae’s lifeless body, with blood still flowing freely from the cuts, adding to the pool that was already making its way across the room. What haunted Siwon the most, was that there was a smile on Donghae’s face.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Author's Note:
Ahh! I can't believe I killed off Donghae. :( But what has to be done will be done. Hope you guys enjoyed this short one. Comments will be greatly appreciated! :)
Please also support my previous and first short shot if you haven't read it. Although there is no link between these 2 stories, but hope you guys will like the other shot too. :) Here to Dentist
Length: one-shot/drabble
Author: TKder
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst, character death
Pairing: None
Summary: When all he could do was to smile.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the storyline.
Warning: Character Death!
Comments are greatly appreciated. :)
He knew he was falling. Falling into this bottomless pit of delusion and self-consolation. He could no longer differentiate what was real and what was fake. All he knew was that he had to smile. It was expected of him. How can Lee Donghae, the innocent, happy-go-lucky kid, not smile? So he smiled. When he was happy, he smiled. When he was angry, he smiled. Even when he was sad, he smiled. Regardless of all the mixed emotions running inside of him, no matter how much he wanted to break down and cry, he still smiled.
No one noticed that something was wrong. What could be wrong with a smiling Donghae? Perhaps, it’s also the fatique that caught on everyone, that they started to pay less attention to one another. The silly banters were now reduced to serious business-only talks with occasional jokes. The endless laughter that was always ringing in the air was replaced by silence, with the occasional snores and hushed whispers. Donghae knew everyone was as tired as he was and they too, were putting up fake smiles to the camera. So he continued smiling. He smiled so naturally that even he was disgusted with himself for being a hypocrite.
Donghae sat on his bed, reminding himself of what a hypocrite he was. How could he smile when all he wanted to do was to break down and cry? He shuts his eyes and let the memories of the last few smiles haunt him. Real or fake, he couldn’t tell. As the memories rolled back one by one, he allowed the razor in his hands to run freely across his wrist. Allowing the flow of crimson red to trickle down his arms and taint his white bedspread. With each cut he made, he felt free. Like he was released from the bounds that were suffocating him.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Flashback
“Hae! Let’s try out this new game that I just bought. I bet I can win you hands down this time.” Eunhyuk bragged as he dragged Donghae out to play. Donghae smiled.
“Donghae ah, come and have some Beijing fried rice. You’re getting skinnier by the day.” Hankyung nagged as he scooped a huge portion of his speciality. Donghae smiled.
“Donghae ah, are you dreaming about aliens again? I can’t believe that you still believe in this. How old are you? 3?” Kangin teased as he shook Donghae out of his thoughts. Donghae smiled.
“Aish! Donghae! Why do you keep messing up? We’ve gone through this routine so many times, yet you still messed up. Don’t get too complacent just because you’re one of the better dancers. The other members are putting in a lot of effort. Don’t pull everyone down with you! Aish!” Leeteuk scolded as he prepared the others to repeat the routine again. Donghae mumbled an apology and smiled.
“Lee Donghae! What did you think you were doing when you said those things on national TV? Do you know the consequences of your words? Why can’t you think before you speak? If you keep this up, one day, you’ll be the cause of the of the fall of Super Junior!” Their manager yelled as he paced about, thinking of how to clear up the mess Donghae created. Donghae hung his head low and smiled.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
When multiple calls to Donghae to get him to come out for dinner went unheeded, did the members find something amiss. It was one of their rare nights off and they were all so looking forward to the long awaited “all thirteen” dinner gathering. While some others were unable to wait, and started wolfing down the food, Siwon stood up to call Donghae out for dinner.
When Siwon opened the door to Donghae’s bedroom, his eyes widened at the sight before him and let out a cry of anguish. Lying in front of his eyes was Donghae’s lifeless body, with blood still flowing freely from the cuts, adding to the pool that was already making its way across the room. What haunted Siwon the most, was that there was a smile on Donghae’s face.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Author's Note:
Ahh! I can't believe I killed off Donghae. :( But what has to be done will be done. Hope you guys enjoyed this short one. Comments will be greatly appreciated! :)
Please also support my previous and first short shot if you haven't read it. Although there is no link between these 2 stories, but hope you guys will like the other shot too. :) Here to Dentist