(no subject)
My boyfriend of 5 1/2 years, the guy I moved down to Washington DC to live with, the guy I thought I was going to marry, has left me. I'm mostly in the grieving stage right now, but it's all so agonizing. The skin of my nose is peeling from being rubbed raw and the skin near my eyes is flaking off from the salt. I've been evaluating where and how to move, but even deciding where to sleep each night is agonizing. He didn't have the courage to tell me, and the knowledge that I've spent so much of my life with someone who can't admit his feelings even to himself weighs in my stomach. Food holds no appeal and I've barely eaten since I found out; even the physical act of eating and drinking is hard. I want him to have his heart broken like mine.
I know it's cliche, that it's not going to last, but right now I don't feel like I could bear to go through this again, that I don't even know how to trust another person not to hurt me.
Please don't ask for the details. I'm sad and tired and sick of telling people about what happened.
I know it's cliche, that it's not going to last, but right now I don't feel like I could bear to go through this again, that I don't even know how to trust another person not to hurt me.
Please don't ask for the details. I'm sad and tired and sick of telling people about what happened.