Secret Angels IV
Here is my entry into Secret Angels IV based on a prompt from Katkaminion. This was the first exchange I ever participated in and I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised at how supportive everyone was of everyone else and the drama free environment. Everyone was awesome. I also have other stories from Katkaminion's prompts that I will eventually post if for no other reason than to get them out of my head space.
Title: Blueberries and Tequila
Author: Mira_meerkat
Recipient : Katkaminion
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Whammied Sam. Injured and mopey Cas.
Spoilers: Set S5 at some point after 'Changing Channels'
Word Count: 4318
Notes/Prompt(s) : This is an amalgamation of two of Katkaminion's promts: Sam is whammied. Cas and Dean take care of him and feelings are revealed. Chick-flick-ness happens and One word: whump. Cas' powers are a little weaker than in the show. (Crosses fingers this is even a little close to what Katkaminion wanted.)
Summary: : Dean has to deal with an amnesiac Sam and injured Cas. There's also the pesky problem of emotions creeping in where the angel is concerned.
Blueberries and Tequila
As Dean Winchester forced his way down the crowded aisles of East Bumble, South Carolina’s only Wal-Mart he made an executive decision for Team Free Will. The next hunter who needed help on a case that involved a witch was going to be shit out of luck. Dean didn’t think his sanity could survive something like this again. It was 60/40 that he would even get through this without needing a straightjacket.
Sam being hit with a non-lethal spell was something Dean found he could handle with ease. A spell that turned him into a teenager emotionally and stripped him of his memories was a little harder to deal with. Regressed was the word Bobby had used when Dean gave him a call. A fucking regression spell. That was a new one for Dean. At least Bobby thought it would wear off in a couple of days.
The good news was that Sam remembered the world in general. Sam just didn’t remember what his place in the world was. The kid didn’t even know what a vessel was.
Dean was disappointed Sam had no memory of him either. But, disappointment was par for the course when your last name was Winchester.
At least Sam had not physically changed. That meant Dean didn’t have to spend what little money they had left buying him cheap clothes. That was a good thing. Sorta.
It had been interesting explaining who and what they were. Dean tried to give Sam the condensed versions of their lives. Sam hadn’t believed him at first. Dean couldn’t blame him for that. There were days he couldn’t quite believe their lives either. Sam tried denying what he was hearing even after looking in the mirror to see a face that was definitely not thirteen.
Sam finally came around to Dean’s way of thinking when they ran into some demons who decided it was a good time to play the home version of “capture a vessel.” Dean had trouble defending both himself and his brother from their attackers. For one sickening moment in that dirty alley he thought he would lose his brother.
Lucky for the Winchesters, Dean had already told Cas where they were. The angel showed up in time to kill one demon and help Dean send the other two back to hell.
As Dean picked out an assortment of bandages his thoughts drifted from his brother to the angel. Cas had no problem jumping in to offer Dean assistance. The problem was that the angel still acted like he was fully juiced up. And that just wasn’t the case. His shoulder getting dislocated after the last demon tossed him into the side of a dumpster should have been a clue.
Dean had felt his heart stop for a second when Cas actually ricocheted off the metal and onto the ground. He also felt a strange satisfaction when he managed to kill the demon. More satisfaction than the situation called for actually.
But, the featherbrain still didn’t grasp the fact that bones and clothing could no longer be magically mended.
This fact bothered Dean a lot. Cas’ rebellion was his fault and he didn’t know if he could handle something irreversible happening. He couldn’t lose another person he cared about. Not after Jo and Ellen.
There was also another unfortunate side-effect. Cas tended to get a little mopey when he was hurt. The worst part was that it was an unconscious type of mopey. He would just turn his kicked puppy look on Dean like he just couldn’t understand why it hurt. Part of Dean realized that Cas actually couldn’t understand. These sensations were all new to the angel.
A moody teenager/Sasquatch and a moping angel were the driving forces behind Dean’s decision to brave Wal-Mart on a weekend. He just had to get out and have some Dean time. He left Sam and Cas to babysit each other in the motel room. They were given strict instructions that neither was allowed to leave and the door was to remain locked and the salt line unbroken.
Dean finally collected enough supplies to restock and headed toward the checkout. It was a little under an hour since he left and he needed to get back. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the other two not to do something stupid. Stupid just had a way of finding them.
As he stood in line he noticed the couple right in front of him. They were holding hands as they debated the merits of one type of gum over the other. The young man was working hard to prove his point that Big Red was indeed better than Juicy Fruit. His companion was arguing the exact opposite. The scene reminded Dean of the time he tried to convince Cas that pie was in fact a food group. That was a month ago.
____________________________________________________________________________
They were in the middle of Nowhere, Wyoming. There had been several attacks that looked suspiciously like the work of a very vengeful spirit and they needed a break from the end of the world. Sam was off at the library researching and Dean had dragged Cas to the local diner for lunch. The angel didn’t need to eat with in regularity, but he seemed to enjoy it on occasion.
“Dean, this is not a proper meal,” Cas looked askance at the blueberry pie in front of Dean.
Dean didn’t even bother swallowing before answering. “Sure it is!” At Cas’ dubious look he rolled his eyes. “Blueberries are fruit, right?”
Cas nodded. He couldn’t argue with that logic. “Yes, but those blueberries have probably sat in sugary syrup.”
“Well, there’s the crust. That’s your bread food group,” Dean pointed out. “Two of the four food groups right there.”
“I believe the four food groups to be an outdated classification. If I understand correctly…..” What Cas was about to say was lost when Dean shoved a forkful of pie into his mouth.
Dean suppressed the urge to laugh at his friend’s expression. The glare that Cas leveled at him suggested someone’s as was about to get smote. “Chew, Cas,” he ordered.
He didn’t miss the emotions that crossed Cas’ face as the angel complied. Dubious faded into thoughtful and thoughtful faded into happy. Happy is a good look on him, was the thought that popped into his head. He cleared his throat. “Well?”
“It wasn’t horrible,” Cas said slowly. “It was actually quite enjoyable.”
“Told you!” Dean was elated.
“However, I believe cake is a superior dessert option. It contains a larger amount of dairy.”
Dean just gaped at his angel for a moment before realizing that it was a joke. Cas was actually teasing him. Dean got the same funny feeling in his stomach that he always got when this rare event occurred. It was nice to see Cas show some emotion other than stoic every now and then. He turned back to his pie and tried to ignore the bit of blueberry on Cas’ lower lip.
It was after that little episode that Dean started to notice little things about the angel. For one thing Cas tended to roll his shoulders if he was exceptionally tired. This was important to Dean since Cas still didn’t realize when he needed to rest. Cas also sat closer to Dean than what could be considered normal. He turned toward Dean to explain something about humans that he just didn’t get. Even when Sam would be the better person to ask.
Then there was the fact that Cas would often glare at any woman who approached Dean at a bar. Like a woman would distract him from trying to stop the apocalypse. He still didn’t fully understand why Sam rolled his eyes when Dean shared that observation. Whatever the joke was he was clearly missing the punch line.
____________________________________________________________________________
He came back to the present when the cashier finally got his attention. The gum couple were now gone and he was next in line. He gave the cashier a sheepish smile and unloaded his basket. “Sorry, my mind kinda wandered for a minute.”
“That’s okay. Thinking about your wife?” the cashier, a cute little brunette who clearly lacked subtly, asked.
Dean didn’t miss the leer in her eyes or in her tone. To his surprise he found he was a little less interested than normal. Well, a lot less interested. Like not at all interested. Cas probably would have been glaring daggers at her by now. “Not married. Just thinkin’ about pie.”
“Well, I know a place that has the best pie,” the girl whispered. “We could go get a piece after I get off.”
Dean didn’t know if she intended that last part as a double entendre. From the way she was still looking at him he imagined she did. He felt an unease creep up on him. Did he ever find people like her attractive? “Sorry. I have to get back to my brother and my friend. They gotta be wondering where I am,” Dean said as he grabbed his bags and fled the store.
On the drive back he tried not to think of why he was so uncomfortable with the cashier’s advances. Or why he was thinking how much blueberries reminded him of Cas’ eyes.
The scene that greeted Dean when he opened the door was not what he expected. Cas was kind of leaning on Sam and rubbing his injured shoulder. He just could not leave those two alone! “What’s going on?”
“I fell,” Cas quickly answered. “I believe I reinjured my shoulder.”
“How’d it happen?” Dean looked between Sam and his angel. He thought he could see guilt cross his brother’s face. Apparently, thirteen year old Sam wasn’t as good at guarding his emotions.
“It was an accident,” Cas cut Sam off. “I tripped.”
Dean set the bags down on the table and knelt in front of the angel. “Tripped? Okay, if that’s the story you want to go with.” The last part was directed toward Sam. “Sam, can you make a pie run to the diner next door?”
Sam nodded and Dean handed him some money. “Straight there and straight back. If you notice anything weird you run. Understand?” Dean asked. He noticed his tone sounded a lot like John’s when he said things like that.
“Understood,” Sam answered. He gave Cas another guilty look. "I'm really sorry," he repeated.
"All is forgiven, Sam. And, thank you," Cas said.
Dean waited for his brother to leave before turning his attention back toward the angel. “So what really happened?”
“I fell.” That was close enough to the truth. He didn’t want to put any additional strain on the brothers’ relationship.
“Cas, I need you to tell me the truth,” Dean said quietly as he eased the other’s shirt off. He needed a better look at the injury. He winced at the sight. The shoulder was still mottled with bruising but didn’t appear dislocated. It seemed so long ago that Cas wouldn’t even have time to bruise before he was healed. Dean had even stabbed him once! It wasn’t fair that douches like Zachariah still had their abilities and Cas, who was only doing the right thing, had to suffer.
One look into Dean’s eyes, which looked green instead of hazel in the light, and Cas knew he had to tell him the truth. “You have to promise you will not get angry with Samuel. It was only partially his fault.”
“Great,” Dean sighed. “What did Gigantor do?”
“I want your word.”
“Are you five?” Dean asked. Cas just stared at him. “Okay. Cross my heart,” he made the appropriate motion. “I won’t get mad.”
“Promise you will not get angry with me either,” Cas suddenly added. He looked away from Dean. He wasn’t sure why he was so concerned that Dean would be mad with him. He just was.
Dean went from mildly concerned to majorly worried. Something really bad must have gone down while he was gone. “Cas, why would I be mad with you?” Silence was his only answer and the angel was still avoiding his eyes. “Cas, I won’t get mad at you either. Please tell me what happened?”
___________________________________________________________________
While Dean was checking out and being checked out Cas was at the motel and desperately hoping the hunter would hurry back. He wasn’t sure how he and Sam went from watching some stupid television show to facing off in the middle of the room. It had something to do with the fact Cas would not allow Sam to leave the room. Sam physically being over twenty-one didn’t mean Cas was about to let him go to a bar.
“Samuel, calm down,” Cas tried again. He had positioned himself in front of the door to block the younger Winchester. That was the best plan he could come up with. Angry teenage boys were not something the Garrison prepared an angel for. Even Jimmy’s fragmented memories of his home life didn’t help. Claire was not a teenager or a boy.
“I don’t want to calm down, Castiel,” Sam snarled as he made a move toward the door.
“I want to go out.”
“Out where?” Cas asked. Sam didn’t know anyone in this town.
“I just want out.”
“Dean said you were to stay in the room until he returned,” Cas reminded him. Sam’s reactions were confusing and irritating. Didn’t he know that Dean was just trying to do what he considered right?
“Dean isn’t the boss of me!” Sam sounded like the child he swore he wasn’t. He shouldered by the angel and reached for the doorknob.
“Sam,” Cas began as he reached out toward the younger man. He had to stop Sam from leaving. Dean had given him instructions and Cas was nothing if not a good soldier. Once you looked past the whole rebellion thing that was.
“Get off me!” Sam turned and shoved at Cas as soon as the angel touched his arm.
Cas, not expecting the violent push, stumbled backwards and tripped over the edge of the closest bed before falling to the floor. He wasn’t able to stifle the gasp of pain as his vision whited out when he landed on his injured shoulder.
“Cas? Are you alright?” Sam was at the angel’s side in an instant. “God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I just....I mean...I'm sorry!"
The pain was intense. Cas found it impossible to form the words to reassure the young man that he would be okay. He wasn’t sure he would be.
Sam took a chance and carefully helped Cas up and onto the bed. “Is it your shoulder? Sorry, stupid question,” Sam sounded frustrated again.
Cas managed to nod as the pain slowly receded to a tolerable level. “I think it is misplaced again.”
“The word is dislocated, Cas,” Sam corrected with a smile. “Dean can fix it just like before. Don’t worry,” he reassured the other.
Cas almost told Sam he wasn’t worried in the least. Dean was quite capable of taking care of a wide range of injuries. Before he could say anything he noticed the look on Sam’s face. Sam was trying to reassure himself as much as the angel. Cas smiled at him in return.
“So, Cas? How did you become involved with us?” Sam asked after a few moments of silence.
“I gripped him tight and pulled him from Perdition.”
“Oh. Well, that’s….interesting,” was all Sam could come up with. “Not the most romantic way to hook up.”
It took Cas a few moments to translate what Sam meant. He felt his face redden. “I assure you, Sam, we have never hooked up,” Cas knew he sounded embarrassed. Dean just didn’t think of him like that.
___________________________________________________________________________
Dean interrupted Cas’ retelling. “Well, I’m a little pissed that Sam pushed you, but why did you think I was going to get mad at you? People think Sam and I are a couple all the time.” Especially Becky.
“I haven’t finished, Dean,” Cas said quietly. He still refused to look at the hunter. “There is something I have to tell you and I don’t know how you will react.”
“Okay. In that case please elaborate,” Dean sat on the bed by the angel. He was positive there was nothing the other could say to him that would anger him. Dean hoped so at any rate. He wanted to take one of Cas’ hands in his but resisted the temptation.
______________________________________________________________________________
“Really?” Sam sounded confused. “You two never….”
“No,” Cas said. This whole conversation was making him uncomfortable. It reminded him of the night before the confrontation with Raphael. He absently wondered whatever happened to Chastity.
“Do you want to?” Sam asked. He sounded very much like a thirteen year old at that moment. "I think you should."
“Samuel Winchester!” Cas had turned completely red in the face. The pain in his shoulder was completely forgotten for the moment.
“I’ll take that as a yes you do,” Sam laughed. “Why don’t you? I know Dean likes you. And, I don't think I would be against it. I hope I wouldn't be a jerk like that."
"Sam," Cas tried to cut the young man off before things got even more embarrassing but the younger Winchester would not be deterred.
"Besides, I think you two would be a good couple.” His smile faded when he saw the angel go from embarrassed to sad. “Cas, did I say something wrong?”
_________________________________________________________________________
“Cas?” Dean asked tentatively when the other trailed off. Was Cas…..shaking? Was he in pain or was he actually scared to tell Dean. “You know Sam is like a kid right now, right? He doesn’t mean half of what he says.”
When Cas spoke again he sounded nervous but not afraid. “Sam did not say anything wrong. He just said something that reminded me of a conversation I had with Ellen right before….”
“What did you guys talk about?” Dean prodded. He remembered Ellen’s serious look as she sat across from the angel at Bobby’s table. At the time Dean thought the look had something to do with what they had to face the following day. He wasn’t so sure now. Without realizing it he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
Cas took a steadying breath and leaned into the touch before starting to speak again.
__________________________________________________________________________
It was after the third bottle that Cas noticed Ellen was staring at him. It was like she was trying to figure out something. He started to ask her if everything was alright when she started to speak. “Dean’s never been known for being the committed type,” she sounded as serious as a semi-tipsy person could be.
Cas said nothing. He was well aware of this part of Dean’s personality. Hunting and Sam were the only things he handled long-term.
Ellen had leaned closer over Bobby’s kitchen table so she could drunk whisper. “Some may think he likes to play around. You know, have all the fun of a relationship without having to have a relationship. Others think he’s just afraid of permanent.”
“What do you think, Ellen?” Cas needed to know what Ellen was trying to say without saying it. For some reason he needed to know. Badly.
“I think he hasn’t found what he needs. I also think he is looking in the wrong places. Really wrong places.”
“What does he need?” Cas knocked back another shot.
“Someone who understands who he is. Someone who isn’t going to cut and run the first time Dean does something Dean level insane. Someone who doesn’t mind sharing Dean’s heart with Sam. Someone who realizes they have to give Dean everything they have before Dean can start to return the favor,” Ellen’s voice had taken on a hypnotic quality.
Cas’ mind flashed back to Bobby’s hospital room. That time seemed so long ago. I did it all for you.
Ellen stood up and started to collect the empty bottles of liquor. She squeezed Cas’ shoulder as she passed him and leaned down and whispered into his ear. “You and Dean.” That was all she said.
______________________________________________________________________________
“I later decided the whole conversation had been a side-effect of the alcohol. There could be no way Ellen could be implying what I thought she was,” Cas finished his story and finally dared to look at Dean.
“So, Ellen said all that?” Dean asked. He didn’t sound angry to Cas. Maybe a little bewildered but not angry. “She thought you were in love with me.”
“No,” Cas turned away again. “She was wrong when she implied that you could have feelings for me,” he clarified. He felt torn between two conflicting emotions. Part of him wanted to vanish in a flutter of wings. Another part of him wanted to stay in the warm motel room next to his hunter for as long as he could. He wasn’t sure which part of him was going to win.
“Okay, I’m lost,” Dean was getting frustrated. Cas could be hard to decipher on his best days and this so did not qualify.
“She was right about my feelings, but wrong about yours,” Cas was tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of working so hard to hide his feelings. Tired of trying to understand human emotions. He was just tired.
“I see,” was the only thing Dean could think of to say. Cas, his Cas, had feelings for him. Maybe even loved him? A lot of little things suddenly made sense. The way Cas sat so close to him and the way he would glare at women.
In the next second it became obvious to Dean why he was uninterested in hooking up with random women. His anger whenever Cas was hurt. The desolation when he got back to Chuck’s after the start of the apocalypse. The pain he felt when Cas would get that look on his face. The look that said the angel was missing Heaven and his family. Oh, God! Really? Dean felt all shades of stupid. Before he knew he was moving Dean was on his feet and at the door.
“Dean?” Cas called out from his position on the bed.
Dean turned to look at the angel. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
Cas stared at the closed door and wondered if he just made the worst mistake of his existence. He didn’t know what he would do if Dean couldn’t handle this. It wasn’t like there was any other place he could go (the thought of going to Gabriel briefly crossed his mind before being discarded). Even if there was someplace he didn’t want to leave his hunter. He would deal with Dean’s reaction no matter what it was.
Ten long minutes later Dean returned with a Styrofoam container and a giant smile. “Sorry. It took longer to get Sammy checked in than I thought. Then, I had to make sure the room was protected.”
“I do not understand,” Cas was confused. What was Dean talking about? What room?
Dean flopped back down on the bed before answering. “I got Sammy his own room for the night. Before you start in on child abandonment charges I want to remind you that he is in an adult body. And, he was always a smart kid. Plus, I made sure he’s safe. He’s next door actually.” Dean pointed to the connecting door in the wall.
“Why did you get Sam his own room?” Cas asked.
“You don’t just admit to me that you have feelings for me and not expect repercussions,” Dean said.
“Repercussions?” Cas parroted back. Father, he really did screw up with Dean. Cas was so busy fighting the panic of an epic screw-up that Dean’s next move surprised him. The hunter pulled him forward and rested their foreheads together. Blue eyes found hazel.
“Yes. First, we are going to finish this pie,” he shook the container in his hand.
“Then, I’m gonna explain to you why Ellen was one of the smartest people on the planet,” Dean paused to kiss Cas’ nose. “Even if she had to have liquid courage to face an angel.”
“And after those two things?” Cas asked. He sat perfectly still; too afraid of breaking the moment.
“Well, that’s up to you, Angel,” Dean whispered.
Those words seemed to be the secret signal to get Cas moving. He leaned in and captured Dean’s lips with his own. The kiss wasn’t bad considering Cas’ lack of experience. That was something Dean would have no problem helping him with.
After what could have been a few minutes or an hour Cas suddenly leaned back to look Dean in the eyes. “Since when?” He hoped Dean understood what he was asking. Cas needed to know that this was different. He was different to Dean.
“I’m not sure how long. A long time I know. I just realized what it meant though,” Dean admitted.
“Well, that’s okay. Sometimes you’re a little slow,” Cas said in all seriousness.
“Hey! I don’t think…” whatever Dean was thinking was cut off by another kiss. Cas was proving to be a star student and Dean decided to let the insult slide. He leaned back and pulled the angel along with him. He was mindful of the other’s injured shoulder. He didn’t want pain to mar this experience for his angel.
Dean knew he wouldn’t (couldn’t) let it go too much farther that night. Second base could be just as good as a home run. Besides, they had plenty of time and he wanted to do things right this go around. Nevermind his little brother was on the other side of the wall. He could wait until Sam was back to his old self before emotionally scarring him.
It would be hours before Dean remembered the pie. But, with Cas curled up next to him he couldn’t seem to care.
Title: Blueberries and Tequila
Author: Mira_meerkat
Recipient : Katkaminion
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Whammied Sam. Injured and mopey Cas.
Spoilers: Set S5 at some point after 'Changing Channels'
Word Count: 4318
Notes/Prompt(s) : This is an amalgamation of two of Katkaminion's promts: Sam is whammied. Cas and Dean take care of him and feelings are revealed. Chick-flick-ness happens and One word: whump. Cas' powers are a little weaker than in the show. (Crosses fingers this is even a little close to what Katkaminion wanted.)
Summary: : Dean has to deal with an amnesiac Sam and injured Cas. There's also the pesky problem of emotions creeping in where the angel is concerned.
Blueberries and Tequila
As Dean Winchester forced his way down the crowded aisles of East Bumble, South Carolina’s only Wal-Mart he made an executive decision for Team Free Will. The next hunter who needed help on a case that involved a witch was going to be shit out of luck. Dean didn’t think his sanity could survive something like this again. It was 60/40 that he would even get through this without needing a straightjacket.
Sam being hit with a non-lethal spell was something Dean found he could handle with ease. A spell that turned him into a teenager emotionally and stripped him of his memories was a little harder to deal with. Regressed was the word Bobby had used when Dean gave him a call. A fucking regression spell. That was a new one for Dean. At least Bobby thought it would wear off in a couple of days.
The good news was that Sam remembered the world in general. Sam just didn’t remember what his place in the world was. The kid didn’t even know what a vessel was.
Dean was disappointed Sam had no memory of him either. But, disappointment was par for the course when your last name was Winchester.
At least Sam had not physically changed. That meant Dean didn’t have to spend what little money they had left buying him cheap clothes. That was a good thing. Sorta.
It had been interesting explaining who and what they were. Dean tried to give Sam the condensed versions of their lives. Sam hadn’t believed him at first. Dean couldn’t blame him for that. There were days he couldn’t quite believe their lives either. Sam tried denying what he was hearing even after looking in the mirror to see a face that was definitely not thirteen.
Sam finally came around to Dean’s way of thinking when they ran into some demons who decided it was a good time to play the home version of “capture a vessel.” Dean had trouble defending both himself and his brother from their attackers. For one sickening moment in that dirty alley he thought he would lose his brother.
Lucky for the Winchesters, Dean had already told Cas where they were. The angel showed up in time to kill one demon and help Dean send the other two back to hell.
As Dean picked out an assortment of bandages his thoughts drifted from his brother to the angel. Cas had no problem jumping in to offer Dean assistance. The problem was that the angel still acted like he was fully juiced up. And that just wasn’t the case. His shoulder getting dislocated after the last demon tossed him into the side of a dumpster should have been a clue.
Dean had felt his heart stop for a second when Cas actually ricocheted off the metal and onto the ground. He also felt a strange satisfaction when he managed to kill the demon. More satisfaction than the situation called for actually.
But, the featherbrain still didn’t grasp the fact that bones and clothing could no longer be magically mended.
This fact bothered Dean a lot. Cas’ rebellion was his fault and he didn’t know if he could handle something irreversible happening. He couldn’t lose another person he cared about. Not after Jo and Ellen.
There was also another unfortunate side-effect. Cas tended to get a little mopey when he was hurt. The worst part was that it was an unconscious type of mopey. He would just turn his kicked puppy look on Dean like he just couldn’t understand why it hurt. Part of Dean realized that Cas actually couldn’t understand. These sensations were all new to the angel.
A moody teenager/Sasquatch and a moping angel were the driving forces behind Dean’s decision to brave Wal-Mart on a weekend. He just had to get out and have some Dean time. He left Sam and Cas to babysit each other in the motel room. They were given strict instructions that neither was allowed to leave and the door was to remain locked and the salt line unbroken.
Dean finally collected enough supplies to restock and headed toward the checkout. It was a little under an hour since he left and he needed to get back. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the other two not to do something stupid. Stupid just had a way of finding them.
As he stood in line he noticed the couple right in front of him. They were holding hands as they debated the merits of one type of gum over the other. The young man was working hard to prove his point that Big Red was indeed better than Juicy Fruit. His companion was arguing the exact opposite. The scene reminded Dean of the time he tried to convince Cas that pie was in fact a food group. That was a month ago.
____________________________________________________________________________
They were in the middle of Nowhere, Wyoming. There had been several attacks that looked suspiciously like the work of a very vengeful spirit and they needed a break from the end of the world. Sam was off at the library researching and Dean had dragged Cas to the local diner for lunch. The angel didn’t need to eat with in regularity, but he seemed to enjoy it on occasion.
“Dean, this is not a proper meal,” Cas looked askance at the blueberry pie in front of Dean.
Dean didn’t even bother swallowing before answering. “Sure it is!” At Cas’ dubious look he rolled his eyes. “Blueberries are fruit, right?”
Cas nodded. He couldn’t argue with that logic. “Yes, but those blueberries have probably sat in sugary syrup.”
“Well, there’s the crust. That’s your bread food group,” Dean pointed out. “Two of the four food groups right there.”
“I believe the four food groups to be an outdated classification. If I understand correctly…..” What Cas was about to say was lost when Dean shoved a forkful of pie into his mouth.
Dean suppressed the urge to laugh at his friend’s expression. The glare that Cas leveled at him suggested someone’s as was about to get smote. “Chew, Cas,” he ordered.
He didn’t miss the emotions that crossed Cas’ face as the angel complied. Dubious faded into thoughtful and thoughtful faded into happy. Happy is a good look on him, was the thought that popped into his head. He cleared his throat. “Well?”
“It wasn’t horrible,” Cas said slowly. “It was actually quite enjoyable.”
“Told you!” Dean was elated.
“However, I believe cake is a superior dessert option. It contains a larger amount of dairy.”
Dean just gaped at his angel for a moment before realizing that it was a joke. Cas was actually teasing him. Dean got the same funny feeling in his stomach that he always got when this rare event occurred. It was nice to see Cas show some emotion other than stoic every now and then. He turned back to his pie and tried to ignore the bit of blueberry on Cas’ lower lip.
It was after that little episode that Dean started to notice little things about the angel. For one thing Cas tended to roll his shoulders if he was exceptionally tired. This was important to Dean since Cas still didn’t realize when he needed to rest. Cas also sat closer to Dean than what could be considered normal. He turned toward Dean to explain something about humans that he just didn’t get. Even when Sam would be the better person to ask.
Then there was the fact that Cas would often glare at any woman who approached Dean at a bar. Like a woman would distract him from trying to stop the apocalypse. He still didn’t fully understand why Sam rolled his eyes when Dean shared that observation. Whatever the joke was he was clearly missing the punch line.
____________________________________________________________________________
He came back to the present when the cashier finally got his attention. The gum couple were now gone and he was next in line. He gave the cashier a sheepish smile and unloaded his basket. “Sorry, my mind kinda wandered for a minute.”
“That’s okay. Thinking about your wife?” the cashier, a cute little brunette who clearly lacked subtly, asked.
Dean didn’t miss the leer in her eyes or in her tone. To his surprise he found he was a little less interested than normal. Well, a lot less interested. Like not at all interested. Cas probably would have been glaring daggers at her by now. “Not married. Just thinkin’ about pie.”
“Well, I know a place that has the best pie,” the girl whispered. “We could go get a piece after I get off.”
Dean didn’t know if she intended that last part as a double entendre. From the way she was still looking at him he imagined she did. He felt an unease creep up on him. Did he ever find people like her attractive? “Sorry. I have to get back to my brother and my friend. They gotta be wondering where I am,” Dean said as he grabbed his bags and fled the store.
On the drive back he tried not to think of why he was so uncomfortable with the cashier’s advances. Or why he was thinking how much blueberries reminded him of Cas’ eyes.
The scene that greeted Dean when he opened the door was not what he expected. Cas was kind of leaning on Sam and rubbing his injured shoulder. He just could not leave those two alone! “What’s going on?”
“I fell,” Cas quickly answered. “I believe I reinjured my shoulder.”
“How’d it happen?” Dean looked between Sam and his angel. He thought he could see guilt cross his brother’s face. Apparently, thirteen year old Sam wasn’t as good at guarding his emotions.
“It was an accident,” Cas cut Sam off. “I tripped.”
Dean set the bags down on the table and knelt in front of the angel. “Tripped? Okay, if that’s the story you want to go with.” The last part was directed toward Sam. “Sam, can you make a pie run to the diner next door?”
Sam nodded and Dean handed him some money. “Straight there and straight back. If you notice anything weird you run. Understand?” Dean asked. He noticed his tone sounded a lot like John’s when he said things like that.
“Understood,” Sam answered. He gave Cas another guilty look. "I'm really sorry," he repeated.
"All is forgiven, Sam. And, thank you," Cas said.
Dean waited for his brother to leave before turning his attention back toward the angel. “So what really happened?”
“I fell.” That was close enough to the truth. He didn’t want to put any additional strain on the brothers’ relationship.
“Cas, I need you to tell me the truth,” Dean said quietly as he eased the other’s shirt off. He needed a better look at the injury. He winced at the sight. The shoulder was still mottled with bruising but didn’t appear dislocated. It seemed so long ago that Cas wouldn’t even have time to bruise before he was healed. Dean had even stabbed him once! It wasn’t fair that douches like Zachariah still had their abilities and Cas, who was only doing the right thing, had to suffer.
One look into Dean’s eyes, which looked green instead of hazel in the light, and Cas knew he had to tell him the truth. “You have to promise you will not get angry with Samuel. It was only partially his fault.”
“Great,” Dean sighed. “What did Gigantor do?”
“I want your word.”
“Are you five?” Dean asked. Cas just stared at him. “Okay. Cross my heart,” he made the appropriate motion. “I won’t get mad.”
“Promise you will not get angry with me either,” Cas suddenly added. He looked away from Dean. He wasn’t sure why he was so concerned that Dean would be mad with him. He just was.
Dean went from mildly concerned to majorly worried. Something really bad must have gone down while he was gone. “Cas, why would I be mad with you?” Silence was his only answer and the angel was still avoiding his eyes. “Cas, I won’t get mad at you either. Please tell me what happened?”
___________________________________________________________________
While Dean was checking out and being checked out Cas was at the motel and desperately hoping the hunter would hurry back. He wasn’t sure how he and Sam went from watching some stupid television show to facing off in the middle of the room. It had something to do with the fact Cas would not allow Sam to leave the room. Sam physically being over twenty-one didn’t mean Cas was about to let him go to a bar.
“Samuel, calm down,” Cas tried again. He had positioned himself in front of the door to block the younger Winchester. That was the best plan he could come up with. Angry teenage boys were not something the Garrison prepared an angel for. Even Jimmy’s fragmented memories of his home life didn’t help. Claire was not a teenager or a boy.
“I don’t want to calm down, Castiel,” Sam snarled as he made a move toward the door.
“I want to go out.”
“Out where?” Cas asked. Sam didn’t know anyone in this town.
“I just want out.”
“Dean said you were to stay in the room until he returned,” Cas reminded him. Sam’s reactions were confusing and irritating. Didn’t he know that Dean was just trying to do what he considered right?
“Dean isn’t the boss of me!” Sam sounded like the child he swore he wasn’t. He shouldered by the angel and reached for the doorknob.
“Sam,” Cas began as he reached out toward the younger man. He had to stop Sam from leaving. Dean had given him instructions and Cas was nothing if not a good soldier. Once you looked past the whole rebellion thing that was.
“Get off me!” Sam turned and shoved at Cas as soon as the angel touched his arm.
Cas, not expecting the violent push, stumbled backwards and tripped over the edge of the closest bed before falling to the floor. He wasn’t able to stifle the gasp of pain as his vision whited out when he landed on his injured shoulder.
“Cas? Are you alright?” Sam was at the angel’s side in an instant. “God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I just....I mean...I'm sorry!"
The pain was intense. Cas found it impossible to form the words to reassure the young man that he would be okay. He wasn’t sure he would be.
Sam took a chance and carefully helped Cas up and onto the bed. “Is it your shoulder? Sorry, stupid question,” Sam sounded frustrated again.
Cas managed to nod as the pain slowly receded to a tolerable level. “I think it is misplaced again.”
“The word is dislocated, Cas,” Sam corrected with a smile. “Dean can fix it just like before. Don’t worry,” he reassured the other.
Cas almost told Sam he wasn’t worried in the least. Dean was quite capable of taking care of a wide range of injuries. Before he could say anything he noticed the look on Sam’s face. Sam was trying to reassure himself as much as the angel. Cas smiled at him in return.
“So, Cas? How did you become involved with us?” Sam asked after a few moments of silence.
“I gripped him tight and pulled him from Perdition.”
“Oh. Well, that’s….interesting,” was all Sam could come up with. “Not the most romantic way to hook up.”
It took Cas a few moments to translate what Sam meant. He felt his face redden. “I assure you, Sam, we have never hooked up,” Cas knew he sounded embarrassed. Dean just didn’t think of him like that.
___________________________________________________________________________
Dean interrupted Cas’ retelling. “Well, I’m a little pissed that Sam pushed you, but why did you think I was going to get mad at you? People think Sam and I are a couple all the time.” Especially Becky.
“I haven’t finished, Dean,” Cas said quietly. He still refused to look at the hunter. “There is something I have to tell you and I don’t know how you will react.”
“Okay. In that case please elaborate,” Dean sat on the bed by the angel. He was positive there was nothing the other could say to him that would anger him. Dean hoped so at any rate. He wanted to take one of Cas’ hands in his but resisted the temptation.
______________________________________________________________________________
“Really?” Sam sounded confused. “You two never….”
“No,” Cas said. This whole conversation was making him uncomfortable. It reminded him of the night before the confrontation with Raphael. He absently wondered whatever happened to Chastity.
“Do you want to?” Sam asked. He sounded very much like a thirteen year old at that moment. "I think you should."
“Samuel Winchester!” Cas had turned completely red in the face. The pain in his shoulder was completely forgotten for the moment.
“I’ll take that as a yes you do,” Sam laughed. “Why don’t you? I know Dean likes you. And, I don't think I would be against it. I hope I wouldn't be a jerk like that."
"Sam," Cas tried to cut the young man off before things got even more embarrassing but the younger Winchester would not be deterred.
"Besides, I think you two would be a good couple.” His smile faded when he saw the angel go from embarrassed to sad. “Cas, did I say something wrong?”
_________________________________________________________________________
“Cas?” Dean asked tentatively when the other trailed off. Was Cas…..shaking? Was he in pain or was he actually scared to tell Dean. “You know Sam is like a kid right now, right? He doesn’t mean half of what he says.”
When Cas spoke again he sounded nervous but not afraid. “Sam did not say anything wrong. He just said something that reminded me of a conversation I had with Ellen right before….”
“What did you guys talk about?” Dean prodded. He remembered Ellen’s serious look as she sat across from the angel at Bobby’s table. At the time Dean thought the look had something to do with what they had to face the following day. He wasn’t so sure now. Without realizing it he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
Cas took a steadying breath and leaned into the touch before starting to speak again.
__________________________________________________________________________
It was after the third bottle that Cas noticed Ellen was staring at him. It was like she was trying to figure out something. He started to ask her if everything was alright when she started to speak. “Dean’s never been known for being the committed type,” she sounded as serious as a semi-tipsy person could be.
Cas said nothing. He was well aware of this part of Dean’s personality. Hunting and Sam were the only things he handled long-term.
Ellen had leaned closer over Bobby’s kitchen table so she could drunk whisper. “Some may think he likes to play around. You know, have all the fun of a relationship without having to have a relationship. Others think he’s just afraid of permanent.”
“What do you think, Ellen?” Cas needed to know what Ellen was trying to say without saying it. For some reason he needed to know. Badly.
“I think he hasn’t found what he needs. I also think he is looking in the wrong places. Really wrong places.”
“What does he need?” Cas knocked back another shot.
“Someone who understands who he is. Someone who isn’t going to cut and run the first time Dean does something Dean level insane. Someone who doesn’t mind sharing Dean’s heart with Sam. Someone who realizes they have to give Dean everything they have before Dean can start to return the favor,” Ellen’s voice had taken on a hypnotic quality.
Cas’ mind flashed back to Bobby’s hospital room. That time seemed so long ago. I did it all for you.
Ellen stood up and started to collect the empty bottles of liquor. She squeezed Cas’ shoulder as she passed him and leaned down and whispered into his ear. “You and Dean.” That was all she said.
______________________________________________________________________________
“I later decided the whole conversation had been a side-effect of the alcohol. There could be no way Ellen could be implying what I thought she was,” Cas finished his story and finally dared to look at Dean.
“So, Ellen said all that?” Dean asked. He didn’t sound angry to Cas. Maybe a little bewildered but not angry. “She thought you were in love with me.”
“No,” Cas turned away again. “She was wrong when she implied that you could have feelings for me,” he clarified. He felt torn between two conflicting emotions. Part of him wanted to vanish in a flutter of wings. Another part of him wanted to stay in the warm motel room next to his hunter for as long as he could. He wasn’t sure which part of him was going to win.
“Okay, I’m lost,” Dean was getting frustrated. Cas could be hard to decipher on his best days and this so did not qualify.
“She was right about my feelings, but wrong about yours,” Cas was tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of working so hard to hide his feelings. Tired of trying to understand human emotions. He was just tired.
“I see,” was the only thing Dean could think of to say. Cas, his Cas, had feelings for him. Maybe even loved him? A lot of little things suddenly made sense. The way Cas sat so close to him and the way he would glare at women.
In the next second it became obvious to Dean why he was uninterested in hooking up with random women. His anger whenever Cas was hurt. The desolation when he got back to Chuck’s after the start of the apocalypse. The pain he felt when Cas would get that look on his face. The look that said the angel was missing Heaven and his family. Oh, God! Really? Dean felt all shades of stupid. Before he knew he was moving Dean was on his feet and at the door.
“Dean?” Cas called out from his position on the bed.
Dean turned to look at the angel. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
Cas stared at the closed door and wondered if he just made the worst mistake of his existence. He didn’t know what he would do if Dean couldn’t handle this. It wasn’t like there was any other place he could go (the thought of going to Gabriel briefly crossed his mind before being discarded). Even if there was someplace he didn’t want to leave his hunter. He would deal with Dean’s reaction no matter what it was.
Ten long minutes later Dean returned with a Styrofoam container and a giant smile. “Sorry. It took longer to get Sammy checked in than I thought. Then, I had to make sure the room was protected.”
“I do not understand,” Cas was confused. What was Dean talking about? What room?
Dean flopped back down on the bed before answering. “I got Sammy his own room for the night. Before you start in on child abandonment charges I want to remind you that he is in an adult body. And, he was always a smart kid. Plus, I made sure he’s safe. He’s next door actually.” Dean pointed to the connecting door in the wall.
“Why did you get Sam his own room?” Cas asked.
“You don’t just admit to me that you have feelings for me and not expect repercussions,” Dean said.
“Repercussions?” Cas parroted back. Father, he really did screw up with Dean. Cas was so busy fighting the panic of an epic screw-up that Dean’s next move surprised him. The hunter pulled him forward and rested their foreheads together. Blue eyes found hazel.
“Yes. First, we are going to finish this pie,” he shook the container in his hand.
“Then, I’m gonna explain to you why Ellen was one of the smartest people on the planet,” Dean paused to kiss Cas’ nose. “Even if she had to have liquid courage to face an angel.”
“And after those two things?” Cas asked. He sat perfectly still; too afraid of breaking the moment.
“Well, that’s up to you, Angel,” Dean whispered.
Those words seemed to be the secret signal to get Cas moving. He leaned in and captured Dean’s lips with his own. The kiss wasn’t bad considering Cas’ lack of experience. That was something Dean would have no problem helping him with.
After what could have been a few minutes or an hour Cas suddenly leaned back to look Dean in the eyes. “Since when?” He hoped Dean understood what he was asking. Cas needed to know that this was different. He was different to Dean.
“I’m not sure how long. A long time I know. I just realized what it meant though,” Dean admitted.
“Well, that’s okay. Sometimes you’re a little slow,” Cas said in all seriousness.
“Hey! I don’t think…” whatever Dean was thinking was cut off by another kiss. Cas was proving to be a star student and Dean decided to let the insult slide. He leaned back and pulled the angel along with him. He was mindful of the other’s injured shoulder. He didn’t want pain to mar this experience for his angel.
Dean knew he wouldn’t (couldn’t) let it go too much farther that night. Second base could be just as good as a home run. Besides, they had plenty of time and he wanted to do things right this go around. Nevermind his little brother was on the other side of the wall. He could wait until Sam was back to his old self before emotionally scarring him.
It would be hours before Dean remembered the pie. But, with Cas curled up next to him he couldn’t seem to care.