Am-est I botheréd?
This weekend was pretty good. I enjoyed my birthday for the most part. People came by, and that was awesome. I also have a ton of alcohol left over, so there's going to be a shindig in the very near future to be rid of that.
I'm enjoying my shiny new red Chucks. They're most awesome.
Work is relentless, and boring... But there's not much I can do about that at the moment.
But what made my day great today? It was a sketch from this year's Comic Relief (aka Red Nose Day) in the UK. A sketch with Catherine Tate (a famous comedienne, and the woman who played Donna, the Bride, in the Doctor Who Xmas episode this year) and, yes, of course, David Tennant.
And now, because I can (and cause I've watched it about a dozen times today), I'm going to transcribe the video (or, well, I'll do the best I can).
Scene: A classroom, high-school level. Students sitting around at tables of four, but the class is more than half empty. Lauren Cooper (Catherine Tate) and Friend sit together at the back of the class. Lauren and Friend are both British.
Friend: Can't believe we've got double English.
Lauren: English is real dry**
Friend: I don't see whats so great about reading anyways!
Lauren: Nah! Reading's for losers!
Friend: Innit though? At least we got a new teacher today.
Lauren: Yeah, right! That'll be a laugh now, won't it?
Door to classroom opens. Mr. Logan (David Tennant) enters with satchel. He proceeds to desk and sets his bag down. He reaches into his bag, searching for something.
Mr. Logan: Morning.
All Students: All right.
Mr. Logan: As I'm sure you're aware my name is Mr. Logan. I'm your new English teacher. Nice to meet you all. He has a pleasant Scottish burr to his voice.
Lauren leans forward in her desk, making vaguely obscene gestures at her new teacher with her tongue-in-cheek.
Mr. Logan: Hope you're all ready to.. get to grips with some Elizabethan literature. He pulls out a Penguin Classics book of some sort from his bag and motions with it as he speaks. Let's all turn to page 53 in our poetry textbooks, and we'll dive straight in with the Bard himself.
Lauren: Leaning forward at her desk again. Sir?
Mr. Logan: Yeah?
Lauren: Are ya English, sir?
Mr. Logan: No, I'm Scottish.
Lauren: So you ain't English, then. Slightly patronizing (?) tone of voice.
Mr. Logan: No, I'm British.
Lauren: So you ain't English, then. In the same tone of voice as previous statement.
Mr. Logan: Faint smile, as if he can't believe how dense this student obviously is. No, I'm not, but as you can see I do speak English.
Lauren: But I can't understand what you're saying, sir. Lauren's Friend shakes her head, as if in agreement with Lauren.
Mr. Logan: Smiling a bit again, probably wondering why he had to have such a troublesome student bothering him. Well clearly you can.
Lauren: Looking a bit confused. Sorry. Are you talking Scottish now?
Mr. Logan: Blinks. No, I'm talking English.
Lauren: Slightly incredulous. Right. Don't sound like it.
Mr. Logan: Dismissing her strangeness, he begins to walk around to the other side of his desk. Okay, whatever you want. Now! Let's get on with Shakespeare!
Lauren: I don't think you're qualified to teach us English.
Mr. Logan: I am perfectly qualified to teach English.
Lauren: As if speaking to a small child who doesn't quite understand. I don't think you are though.
Mr. Logan: Becoming somewhat annoyed. You don't have to be English to *teach* it.
Lauren: Right. Again, patronizingly. Have we got double English, or double Scottish?
Mr. Logan: Peering at Lauren intently. Is your name Lauren Cooper by any chance?
Lauren: Becoming defensive. Yeah. Why?
Mr. Logan: Has obviously been warned about Lauren. Your reputation preceeds you.
Lauren: Innit though? Lauren's Friend nods appreciatingly as Lauren leans back in her chair, sure of herself.
Mr. Logan: Obviously tired of wasting class time arguing with a trouble-maker. So! Shakespeare's sonnets.
Lauren: Sir.
Mr. Logan: A sonnet is a poem --
Lauren: Sir.
Mr. Logan: -- written in 14 --
Lauren: Sir. Her voice is taking on a sing-songy quality
Mr. Logan: -- lines, the last two of which --
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: -- must form a --
Lauren: Sir? Sitting up and raising her hand.
Mr. Logan: -- rhyming couplet.
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: YES, Lauren.
Lauren: Can I ask you a question?
Mr. Logan: Shaking his head. Not just now.
Lauren: Can I ask you a question now?
Mr. Logan: Just wait.
Lauren: But can I just ask you a question? I only wanna ask you a question. Can't I ask you a question? I'm just asking you a question. Can't I *ask* you a *question*?
Mr. Logan: Stares at her a moment. What is it?
Lauren: Takes a breath. Are you the Doctor?
The class smiles at this question.
Mr. Logan: Stares at Lauren still, obviously confused. Doctor who?
At this response Lauren and her friend clap their hands, point at Mr. Logan, and say something indecipherably British. Some of the other students laugh or smile.
Mr. Logan: I don't know what you're talking about!
Lauren: Smiling, and incredibly amused. You look like Doctor Who, though!
Mr. Logan: Starting to get frustrated again. I'm not Doctor Who -- I'm your English teacher!
Lauren: I don't think you are, though!
Mr. Logan: Lauren --
Lauren: I think you're a 945-year-old Time Lord!
Mr. Logan: -- listen --
Lauren: Did you just pitch up from Mars?
Mr. Logan: ...Don't be ridiculous.
Lauren: You know your house, right?
Mr. Logan: What?
Lauren: You know your house?
Mr. Logan: ...Yeah?
Lauren: Is it bigger on the inside?
Mr. Logan: Obviously losing his patience. Be quiet.
Lauren: Did you park the TARDIS on the meter?
Mr. Logan: Has obviously had enough of this nonsense. Can we please get back to Shakespeare? Lauren sinks back in her chair, and Mr. Logan takes this as assent. THANK you. So --
Lauren: Hurriedly. D'you fancy Billie Piper, sir?
Mr. Logan: Very angry, slaps his open text on the desk and stands. Right. Has his hands on his hips, and takes a step towards Lauren's desk. You are the most insolent child I have ever been forced to teach.
Lauren: Without missing a beat. Thank you.
Mr. Logan: You're pointless, repititious, and extremely dull.
Lauren: Bit like Shakespeare.
Mr. Logan: That comment really does it. He's had enough. You are not even worthy to mention his name. William Shakes-- WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE was a genius. YOU, little madam, are DEFINITELY not. Now just sit there and keep your mouth SHUT, or I will FAIL you in this WHOLE MODULE RIGHT NOW.
Lauren: She sucks a bit of air in through her teeth. Obviously displeased with her teacher. Slowly, she sits up again and looks at Mr. Logan. Am-est I botheréd?
Mr. Logan: Stares at her intently, wondering what she's up to now. What?
Lauren: Am-est I botheréd, forsooth?
Mr. Logan: Lauren --
Lauren: Looketh at my face!
Mr. Logan: I don't --
Lauren: Looketh at my face!
Mr. Logan: Stop it.
Lauren: Is this the botheréd face that sits before thee?
Mr. Logan: Right. I'm calling your parents.
Lauren: Forecefully. Are you disrespecting the House of Cooper?
Mr. Logan: No.
Lauren: Art thou calling my mother a pox-ridden wench?
Mr. Logan: Enough.
Lauren: Arth thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple?
Mr. Logan: Lauren --
Lauren: But he ain't even a goodly rotten apple.
Mr. Logan: -- listen to me --
Lauren: But he ain't even a goodly rotten apple, man!
Mr. Logan: -- that's enough!
Lauren: Faceth!
Mr. Logan: Lauren!
Lauren: Botheréd!
Mr. Logan: Lauren!
Lauren: Looketh!
Mr. Logan: Enough!
Lauren: Looketh!
Mr. Logan: Stop!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: That's it!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: Enough!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: Stop!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: Shush!
Lauren: Botheréd!
Mr. Logan: Enough!
Lauren: Faceth! Botheréd!
Mr. Logan: Enough! No more!
Lauren: In a vaguely Scottish accent. You take the high road, and I'll take the low road.
Mr. Logan: Stop-- Simply stares at her incredulous and angry.
Lauren: I ain't even bothered! I ain't bothered! Look! Face! Bothered! Botheréd! Face! Botheréd! I ain't even botheréd! My liege, I be not botheréd. Forsooth, I be not botheréd! Mr. Logan keeps trying to interrupt, but Lauren continues to talk over him loudly and quickly. Face, botheréd, I ain't botheréd. Shakespeare, sonnets, I ain't even botheréd. "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun, coral is far more red than her lips red, if snow be white why then her breasts are done, if hair be wires then black wires grow on her head, I have seen roses, damask, red, and white, but no such roses see I in her cheeks, and in some perfume is there more delight than in that breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound. I grant I never saw a goddess though, my mistress when she walks treads on the ground and yet by heaven I think my love is rare, as only she belies the force compare." BITE ME, Alien-boy!
Mr. Logan, who was rendered speechless during Lauren's recitation of one of Shakespeare's sonnets, now moves into action. He glances around at the class, then reaches into the inner pocket of his suit coat. He withdraws the Sonic Screwdriver and aims it at Lauren. He activates the device, the tip glowing blue and a strange sonic hum filling the air. Lauren begins to waver, and she is then replaced with a six-inch Billie Piper as Rose Tyler action figure (wearing the outfit from the episode New Earth). Lauren's friend stares at this as it happens, her jaw gaping and eyes wide in shock.
Mr. Logan: Takes a deep breath and puts the Sonic away. That's better. He turns back to his desk, retrieves his text, smiling coyly. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet! He grins and leans against the desk.
Lauren (as Rose Action Figure): In a very high-pitched voice. I still ain't botheréd!
**The underlined text is unclear in the audio. This is the closest I could get to anything that made sense. Sometimes the British are hard to understand.
Wow. That took WAYY longer than I anticipated. I've been working on it for an hour and a half. I should go to bed. ^_^
I'm enjoying my shiny new red Chucks. They're most awesome.
Work is relentless, and boring... But there's not much I can do about that at the moment.
But what made my day great today? It was a sketch from this year's Comic Relief (aka Red Nose Day) in the UK. A sketch with Catherine Tate (a famous comedienne, and the woman who played Donna, the Bride, in the Doctor Who Xmas episode this year) and, yes, of course, David Tennant.
And now, because I can (and cause I've watched it about a dozen times today), I'm going to transcribe the video (or, well, I'll do the best I can).
Scene: A classroom, high-school level. Students sitting around at tables of four, but the class is more than half empty. Lauren Cooper (Catherine Tate) and Friend sit together at the back of the class. Lauren and Friend are both British.
Friend: Can't believe we've got double English.
Lauren: English is real dry**
Friend: I don't see whats so great about reading anyways!
Lauren: Nah! Reading's for losers!
Friend: Innit though? At least we got a new teacher today.
Lauren: Yeah, right! That'll be a laugh now, won't it?
Door to classroom opens. Mr. Logan (David Tennant) enters with satchel. He proceeds to desk and sets his bag down. He reaches into his bag, searching for something.
Mr. Logan: Morning.
All Students: All right.
Mr. Logan: As I'm sure you're aware my name is Mr. Logan. I'm your new English teacher. Nice to meet you all. He has a pleasant Scottish burr to his voice.
Lauren leans forward in her desk, making vaguely obscene gestures at her new teacher with her tongue-in-cheek.
Mr. Logan: Hope you're all ready to.. get to grips with some Elizabethan literature. He pulls out a Penguin Classics book of some sort from his bag and motions with it as he speaks. Let's all turn to page 53 in our poetry textbooks, and we'll dive straight in with the Bard himself.
Lauren: Leaning forward at her desk again. Sir?
Mr. Logan: Yeah?
Lauren: Are ya English, sir?
Mr. Logan: No, I'm Scottish.
Lauren: So you ain't English, then. Slightly patronizing (?) tone of voice.
Mr. Logan: No, I'm British.
Lauren: So you ain't English, then. In the same tone of voice as previous statement.
Mr. Logan: Faint smile, as if he can't believe how dense this student obviously is. No, I'm not, but as you can see I do speak English.
Lauren: But I can't understand what you're saying, sir. Lauren's Friend shakes her head, as if in agreement with Lauren.
Mr. Logan: Smiling a bit again, probably wondering why he had to have such a troublesome student bothering him. Well clearly you can.
Lauren: Looking a bit confused. Sorry. Are you talking Scottish now?
Mr. Logan: Blinks. No, I'm talking English.
Lauren: Slightly incredulous. Right. Don't sound like it.
Mr. Logan: Dismissing her strangeness, he begins to walk around to the other side of his desk. Okay, whatever you want. Now! Let's get on with Shakespeare!
Lauren: I don't think you're qualified to teach us English.
Mr. Logan: I am perfectly qualified to teach English.
Lauren: As if speaking to a small child who doesn't quite understand. I don't think you are though.
Mr. Logan: Becoming somewhat annoyed. You don't have to be English to *teach* it.
Lauren: Right. Again, patronizingly. Have we got double English, or double Scottish?
Mr. Logan: Peering at Lauren intently. Is your name Lauren Cooper by any chance?
Lauren: Becoming defensive. Yeah. Why?
Mr. Logan: Has obviously been warned about Lauren. Your reputation preceeds you.
Lauren: Innit though? Lauren's Friend nods appreciatingly as Lauren leans back in her chair, sure of herself.
Mr. Logan: Obviously tired of wasting class time arguing with a trouble-maker. So! Shakespeare's sonnets.
Lauren: Sir.
Mr. Logan: A sonnet is a poem --
Lauren: Sir.
Mr. Logan: -- written in 14 --
Lauren: Sir. Her voice is taking on a sing-songy quality
Mr. Logan: -- lines, the last two of which --
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: -- must form a --
Lauren: Sir? Sitting up and raising her hand.
Mr. Logan: -- rhyming couplet.
Lauren: Sir?
Mr. Logan: YES, Lauren.
Lauren: Can I ask you a question?
Mr. Logan: Shaking his head. Not just now.
Lauren: Can I ask you a question now?
Mr. Logan: Just wait.
Lauren: But can I just ask you a question? I only wanna ask you a question. Can't I ask you a question? I'm just asking you a question. Can't I *ask* you a *question*?
Mr. Logan: Stares at her a moment. What is it?
Lauren: Takes a breath. Are you the Doctor?
The class smiles at this question.
Mr. Logan: Stares at Lauren still, obviously confused. Doctor who?
At this response Lauren and her friend clap their hands, point at Mr. Logan, and say something indecipherably British. Some of the other students laugh or smile.
Mr. Logan: I don't know what you're talking about!
Lauren: Smiling, and incredibly amused. You look like Doctor Who, though!
Mr. Logan: Starting to get frustrated again. I'm not Doctor Who -- I'm your English teacher!
Lauren: I don't think you are, though!
Mr. Logan: Lauren --
Lauren: I think you're a 945-year-old Time Lord!
Mr. Logan: -- listen --
Lauren: Did you just pitch up from Mars?
Mr. Logan: ...Don't be ridiculous.
Lauren: You know your house, right?
Mr. Logan: What?
Lauren: You know your house?
Mr. Logan: ...Yeah?
Lauren: Is it bigger on the inside?
Mr. Logan: Obviously losing his patience. Be quiet.
Lauren: Did you park the TARDIS on the meter?
Mr. Logan: Has obviously had enough of this nonsense. Can we please get back to Shakespeare? Lauren sinks back in her chair, and Mr. Logan takes this as assent. THANK you. So --
Lauren: Hurriedly. D'you fancy Billie Piper, sir?
Mr. Logan: Very angry, slaps his open text on the desk and stands. Right. Has his hands on his hips, and takes a step towards Lauren's desk. You are the most insolent child I have ever been forced to teach.
Lauren: Without missing a beat. Thank you.
Mr. Logan: You're pointless, repititious, and extremely dull.
Lauren: Bit like Shakespeare.
Mr. Logan: That comment really does it. He's had enough. You are not even worthy to mention his name. William Shakes-- WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE was a genius. YOU, little madam, are DEFINITELY not. Now just sit there and keep your mouth SHUT, or I will FAIL you in this WHOLE MODULE RIGHT NOW.
Lauren: She sucks a bit of air in through her teeth. Obviously displeased with her teacher. Slowly, she sits up again and looks at Mr. Logan. Am-est I botheréd?
Mr. Logan: Stares at her intently, wondering what she's up to now. What?
Lauren: Am-est I botheréd, forsooth?
Mr. Logan: Lauren --
Lauren: Looketh at my face!
Mr. Logan: I don't --
Lauren: Looketh at my face!
Mr. Logan: Stop it.
Lauren: Is this the botheréd face that sits before thee?
Mr. Logan: Right. I'm calling your parents.
Lauren: Forecefully. Are you disrespecting the House of Cooper?
Mr. Logan: No.
Lauren: Art thou calling my mother a pox-ridden wench?
Mr. Logan: Enough.
Lauren: Arth thou calling my father a goodly rotten apple?
Mr. Logan: Lauren --
Lauren: But he ain't even a goodly rotten apple.
Mr. Logan: -- listen to me --
Lauren: But he ain't even a goodly rotten apple, man!
Mr. Logan: -- that's enough!
Lauren: Faceth!
Mr. Logan: Lauren!
Lauren: Botheréd!
Mr. Logan: Lauren!
Lauren: Looketh!
Mr. Logan: Enough!
Lauren: Looketh!
Mr. Logan: Stop!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: That's it!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: Enough!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: Stop!
Lauren: My liege!
Mr. Logan: Shush!
Lauren: Botheréd!
Mr. Logan: Enough!
Lauren: Faceth! Botheréd!
Mr. Logan: Enough! No more!
Lauren: In a vaguely Scottish accent. You take the high road, and I'll take the low road.
Mr. Logan: Stop-- Simply stares at her incredulous and angry.
Lauren: I ain't even bothered! I ain't bothered! Look! Face! Bothered! Botheréd! Face! Botheréd! I ain't even botheréd! My liege, I be not botheréd. Forsooth, I be not botheréd! Mr. Logan keeps trying to interrupt, but Lauren continues to talk over him loudly and quickly. Face, botheréd, I ain't botheréd. Shakespeare, sonnets, I ain't even botheréd. "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun, coral is far more red than her lips red, if snow be white why then her breasts are done, if hair be wires then black wires grow on her head, I have seen roses, damask, red, and white, but no such roses see I in her cheeks, and in some perfume is there more delight than in that breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound. I grant I never saw a goddess though, my mistress when she walks treads on the ground and yet by heaven I think my love is rare, as only she belies the force compare." BITE ME, Alien-boy!
Mr. Logan, who was rendered speechless during Lauren's recitation of one of Shakespeare's sonnets, now moves into action. He glances around at the class, then reaches into the inner pocket of his suit coat. He withdraws the Sonic Screwdriver and aims it at Lauren. He activates the device, the tip glowing blue and a strange sonic hum filling the air. Lauren begins to waver, and she is then replaced with a six-inch Billie Piper as Rose Tyler action figure (wearing the outfit from the episode New Earth). Lauren's friend stares at this as it happens, her jaw gaping and eyes wide in shock.
Mr. Logan: Takes a deep breath and puts the Sonic away. That's better. He turns back to his desk, retrieves his text, smiling coyly. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet! He grins and leans against the desk.
Lauren (as Rose Action Figure): In a very high-pitched voice. I still ain't botheréd!
**The underlined text is unclear in the audio. This is the closest I could get to anything that made sense. Sometimes the British are hard to understand.
Wow. That took WAYY longer than I anticipated. I've been working on it for an hour and a half. I should go to bed. ^_^