(no subject)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know what is my ultimate dream, the things I fancy the most and try my best to achieve so they can rip my dream apart...
It have happen a quite few times, sometimes there's little and stupid things like when my dad didn't let me watch the season premier of Gilmore Girls just because Rory had have sex with Dean and he was married. Apparently it was against my believes.
Other time that happened? My current living situation. For one part, yes I'm not living at home, just like I want it. But for the other part I'm stuck living with my uncles, which are charging more than they should, I'm living so far away from school and they are making us pay for the months I'm not there. My mom have made it clear that it wont happen any time soon before I move from there.
And the one I think it hurts the most because it's the goal I have been dreaming for the most. Driving / Having a car. Oh yes, here we come again.
My parent's just don't get the amazing feeling of freedom I get when I'm able to drive, all alone. To be in control of the route I take and the time I want to spent in the place or if I want to leave and go to a new place. No one to tell you anything because you are in charge.
I swear I dream, and dream of that day since I was a child. But they just don't get it. They think it's just about having a status or something like that.
Anyway my mom have promise me a car if I get good average. It was a fair deal because I have always get good grades like 8 but now I get an 9.5. I put all my effort for that grade, did all the things I need to do to get that grade and finally I manage to get it and all for what? nothing, I'm not getting a car, most probably not for another year.
When I arrived to Tampico for my 3 month's summer vacations, I came to the house to a father who told me I can't drive unless someone is with me. Wow a low punch, it hurt, I was annoyed, as always they didn't give me a chance they just judge. And because of that I have been really preferring not driving at all.
The story doesn't end here, in the other hand there's my sister, who never really cared about driving or cars. But she's the oldest so as soon as she have her permit they let her drive alone. I remember countless of times she hit another car, not hard enough to be an accident but hey she did it too! or step up on the sidewalk when turning. They didn't realize that because they weren't with her but I did.
As soon as she came back from a studying abroad on the States for a year. They give her the car. It was the old car, but hey it's a car. The car I have always hate to drive because I can't see, but gladly drove it before because of the urge I had to drive.
Yesterday, my mom make a comment to my sister, something about her getting a new car. I was so annoyed and angry, even if my sister is paying for the car. She's getting a new car and I'm getting: a) nothing or b) the old car I hate.
I was very upset for the rest of the day. And today when I woke up, I just felt empty, a very nice feeling to feel when you really can't be bother to be angry and knowing you can't be happy because there's something annoying you.
Luckily when I wake up no one was in the house, because one comment of my dad about why i don't do anything or a sarcastic comment from my mom and would just have burst into tears.
I sat in the computer and started browsing the internet. When I came the new post of The Coveteur and discover there was a girl who doesn't like to drive so she have a bike and that's how she transport herself.
I was amaze! And start thinking how I always try to be the greener and the most ecological I can. I found out, that instead of being angry about not having a car I should be happy because this is an excuse to exercise more and be greener, all at the same time.
I never think I could have this ability, to turn negative things into positive. Like people said, it just depends on how you look at them :) I really hope I can continue with this positive vision for a lot time. Because I just really felt like my heart loose weight and it feels amazing.
It have happen a quite few times, sometimes there's little and stupid things like when my dad didn't let me watch the season premier of Gilmore Girls just because Rory had have sex with Dean and he was married. Apparently it was against my believes.
Other time that happened? My current living situation. For one part, yes I'm not living at home, just like I want it. But for the other part I'm stuck living with my uncles, which are charging more than they should, I'm living so far away from school and they are making us pay for the months I'm not there. My mom have made it clear that it wont happen any time soon before I move from there.
And the one I think it hurts the most because it's the goal I have been dreaming for the most. Driving / Having a car. Oh yes, here we come again.
My parent's just don't get the amazing feeling of freedom I get when I'm able to drive, all alone. To be in control of the route I take and the time I want to spent in the place or if I want to leave and go to a new place. No one to tell you anything because you are in charge.
I swear I dream, and dream of that day since I was a child. But they just don't get it. They think it's just about having a status or something like that.
Anyway my mom have promise me a car if I get good average. It was a fair deal because I have always get good grades like 8 but now I get an 9.5. I put all my effort for that grade, did all the things I need to do to get that grade and finally I manage to get it and all for what? nothing, I'm not getting a car, most probably not for another year.
When I arrived to Tampico for my 3 month's summer vacations, I came to the house to a father who told me I can't drive unless someone is with me. Wow a low punch, it hurt, I was annoyed, as always they didn't give me a chance they just judge. And because of that I have been really preferring not driving at all.
The story doesn't end here, in the other hand there's my sister, who never really cared about driving or cars. But she's the oldest so as soon as she have her permit they let her drive alone. I remember countless of times she hit another car, not hard enough to be an accident but hey she did it too! or step up on the sidewalk when turning. They didn't realize that because they weren't with her but I did.
As soon as she came back from a studying abroad on the States for a year. They give her the car. It was the old car, but hey it's a car. The car I have always hate to drive because I can't see, but gladly drove it before because of the urge I had to drive.
Yesterday, my mom make a comment to my sister, something about her getting a new car. I was so annoyed and angry, even if my sister is paying for the car. She's getting a new car and I'm getting: a) nothing or b) the old car I hate.
I was very upset for the rest of the day. And today when I woke up, I just felt empty, a very nice feeling to feel when you really can't be bother to be angry and knowing you can't be happy because there's something annoying you.
Luckily when I wake up no one was in the house, because one comment of my dad about why i don't do anything or a sarcastic comment from my mom and would just have burst into tears.
I sat in the computer and started browsing the internet. When I came the new post of The Coveteur and discover there was a girl who doesn't like to drive so she have a bike and that's how she transport herself.
I was amaze! And start thinking how I always try to be the greener and the most ecological I can. I found out, that instead of being angry about not having a car I should be happy because this is an excuse to exercise more and be greener, all at the same time.
I never think I could have this ability, to turn negative things into positive. Like people said, it just depends on how you look at them :) I really hope I can continue with this positive vision for a lot time. Because I just really felt like my heart loose weight and it feels amazing.