for every holiday there's a shitty memory!!!
So tomorrow is thanksfortaking and it's a really significant day to me for a few reasons. Firstly, as someone who comes from indigenous blood I feel the disgust for a country which parades such a wrong. It's as if we had a day to celebrate the slave trade. YAY OPRESSION!! But I will give a sincere yay for the good food. Thanksfortaking also applies to me on a very personal level. Thanks for taking my trust, dad. It's been 5 years since my father faked his suicide, saying in a dying, weak voice "Ask your mother if she knows what it's like to bleed to death". Telling me just before driving away terrifyingly drunk that it was all my fault because I no longer loved him. And tomorrow I'll hold his hand as la familia says grace before stuffing ourselves much more than you could stuff any damn turkey. He's got his new girlfriend with him too! But I'm supposed to believe that she's "just a friend" who he is bringing to meet his family for thanksgiving dinner. All the while he's still seeing my mom, as far as I know anyway. But he sticks by that she's "just a friend" ....and just watch, she'll be 10 years his junior, blonde bombshell with bigol's made of insecurities and skewed self image. They don't even look a little real!!
Fuck I love Radiohead. Pedro said he wants to have a day with me where we get high and listen to Radiohead all day, singing it and dancing and shit! I'm so down. He's such a sweetheart. So cute, sweet and funny! But he's still going through puberty, haha kinda reminds me of Peen but shorter and Mexicano. But come to think of it they're a lot alike in many respects. Haha funny.
I miss Dory that crazy bastard. I still can't believe he slept naked next to me while I was fully clothed-and no he didn't touch me or anything like that Crazy crazy bastard.
Lesley--I'm bummed you're not here to be hanging out with me and having fun. I've been partying a lot and it's just so strange always being by myself. You're supposed to be MY PARTNER IN CRIME!!! Argh. Anyway you're back soon. Very very soon actually and so I'm elated. Very worried I won't hardly get to see you, but I can understand. I'd opt for sex too. Maybe we can have sex with each other. Just trying to problem solve!
Sex Sex Sex. Yeah I could use some. Yeah I wouldn't mind having somebody who I can sleep with consistently. Maria, Pedro, la otra Mia, and myself watched Tyra the talk show yesterday. It was about Monogamy and whether it's natural or not basically. And I don't think I can really make a firm decision on how I feel about it. I'm never getting married technically but I feel like if I end up "marrying" as in having kids with a man, I would still want to be able to have sex with women. And vice versa if I were to have children with a woman. And that's non-monogamy, but could I really somehow make somethin like that work, or is it just a selfish desire? There was a couple talking about how if they were having a monogamous relationship they'd never have lasted. They are successfully having an open relationship. But I don't think they had kids either. Kinda different.
Anyway. I took the 3 hour test for my promotion at Bay Federal today and definetely passed. Yay me...raise and all! And after the test,I got a chance to hang out with Jody for about an hour this afternoon on my lunch break! It's been like three weeks since I've seen her or even really talked to her. It was really good hanging out with her and getting to hug her! I didn't realize how much I had missed you until I saw you today. No more stupidly long hiatii(hiatus plural?) OKAY?!
So happy Thanksfortaking everybody! And tomorrow I get to celebrate that I've not only been socially oppressed by this fucked up nation but also emotionally oppressed by my father. And I'll eat enough to make me obese, which is when my mom will oppress me mentally by forever nagging me about my fucking weight, which she already does plenty of. Ay Caramba People!! If I didn't love my nana's tamales and tata's frijoles y arroz I swear I wouldn't even think of celebrating jack SHIT tomorrow. Except I'd definetely go to the festival at Alcatraz for the spirits of the indigenous people who reclaimed Alcatraz after it became deserted ex property of the federal government. Anyway at dawn people gather at Alcatraz each year and remember/honor the indigenous people who lost their lives when white christian males invaded. So I'm hoping I'll can do that next year, hell maybe I'll even go tomorrow but not likely. That's too much driving back and forth for a girl with not enough gas money as it is! Anyway I should go figure out what I need for tomorrow/tonight's road trip.
"the only time I hold your hand, is to get the angle right" yeah tell 'em Amy Winehouse
Fuck I love Radiohead. Pedro said he wants to have a day with me where we get high and listen to Radiohead all day, singing it and dancing and shit! I'm so down. He's such a sweetheart. So cute, sweet and funny! But he's still going through puberty, haha kinda reminds me of Peen but shorter and Mexicano. But come to think of it they're a lot alike in many respects. Haha funny.
I miss Dory that crazy bastard. I still can't believe he slept naked next to me while I was fully clothed-and no he didn't touch me or anything like that Crazy crazy bastard.
Lesley--I'm bummed you're not here to be hanging out with me and having fun. I've been partying a lot and it's just so strange always being by myself. You're supposed to be MY PARTNER IN CRIME!!! Argh. Anyway you're back soon. Very very soon actually and so I'm elated. Very worried I won't hardly get to see you, but I can understand. I'd opt for sex too. Maybe we can have sex with each other. Just trying to problem solve!
Sex Sex Sex. Yeah I could use some. Yeah I wouldn't mind having somebody who I can sleep with consistently. Maria, Pedro, la otra Mia, and myself watched Tyra the talk show yesterday. It was about Monogamy and whether it's natural or not basically. And I don't think I can really make a firm decision on how I feel about it. I'm never getting married technically but I feel like if I end up "marrying" as in having kids with a man, I would still want to be able to have sex with women. And vice versa if I were to have children with a woman. And that's non-monogamy, but could I really somehow make somethin like that work, or is it just a selfish desire? There was a couple talking about how if they were having a monogamous relationship they'd never have lasted. They are successfully having an open relationship. But I don't think they had kids either. Kinda different.
Anyway. I took the 3 hour test for my promotion at Bay Federal today and definetely passed. Yay me...raise and all! And after the test,I got a chance to hang out with Jody for about an hour this afternoon on my lunch break! It's been like three weeks since I've seen her or even really talked to her. It was really good hanging out with her and getting to hug her! I didn't realize how much I had missed you until I saw you today. No more stupidly long hiatii(hiatus plural?) OKAY?!
So happy Thanksfortaking everybody! And tomorrow I get to celebrate that I've not only been socially oppressed by this fucked up nation but also emotionally oppressed by my father. And I'll eat enough to make me obese, which is when my mom will oppress me mentally by forever nagging me about my fucking weight, which she already does plenty of. Ay Caramba People!! If I didn't love my nana's tamales and tata's frijoles y arroz I swear I wouldn't even think of celebrating jack SHIT tomorrow. Except I'd definetely go to the festival at Alcatraz for the spirits of the indigenous people who reclaimed Alcatraz after it became deserted ex property of the federal government. Anyway at dawn people gather at Alcatraz each year and remember/honor the indigenous people who lost their lives when white christian males invaded. So I'm hoping I'll can do that next year, hell maybe I'll even go tomorrow but not likely. That's too much driving back and forth for a girl with not enough gas money as it is! Anyway I should go figure out what I need for tomorrow/tonight's road trip.
"the only time I hold your hand, is to get the angle right" yeah tell 'em Amy Winehouse