You'll come back...
HERE, HAVE SOME QUOTES~
To live... To live would be an awfully big adventure.
"What if a shark falls out of a tree?"
"What are you doing?" *digging through drawers* "Trying to find where your mom hid the vibrator last night. "
"Oh yeah? Well that's not what your mom said last night."
"You're a funny chicken."
I'll be home early, stop filling my hard drive with episodes of Friends!The hospital was lit up like a fluorescent hell.
You walk in light, and so I see you clearly - yet I walk in shadow, and thus I am hidden from you.
“I’m not a dwarf, I’m a lesbian!”
"If the boot fits."
"What did you just say to me?"
"If. The boot. Fits."
"Dude. Did you just quote Toy Story at me?"
"...No."
"Oh, you so did! I bet you're a Sherriff Woody fan, huh?"
"Well... Hey! We were having a moment and you interrupted it with inappropriate humour! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"
"It's what I do."
But, because he couldn't blame them, he could only blame himself. And his father had reinforced this state of mind.
"For I have but the power to kill, without the power to die-"
"Gee, Dad, thanks. I'm fine by the way. How are you?"
"Shawn..."
"Dad..."
"Mr Spencer. Henry." The Chief said, chidingly.
"Chief Vick!" Shawn grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Lassiter!" Carlton exclaimed, getting weird looks from everybody.
"Dude!" Shawn grinned and offered a fist to bump. "First Toy Story and now you reference Shrek! I'm so proud." He wiped a fake tear away.
"Oh my goodness. It's contagious." The Chief said, stating the first thought that came into her head.
"Oh, Chief Vick. Don't be a smelly plate of cabbage!"
"Not your best." Lassiter muttered.
"I know. Sorry." Shawn replied
Jim was suddenly, and inexplicably, reminded of the days when he thought he could get pregnant from sleeping in the same bed with another person. Actually - why had Jim worried about that in the first place? It wasn’t like he was going to get pregnant.
"Should I worry that Zachary only wants to invite our asses?"
Of being alone. Of the people I love always leaving me - they always do.
Seriously: porn jazz.
Zach’s never been entirely clear on Chris’ sexuality - he seems to have a bit of Kirk in him (and, yes, when asked Chris will say that he would like a bit of Kirk in him, how’s that for narcissism) in that he will flirt with anything. Men, women, small woodland creatures, alcoholic beverages, potted plants - as in “What? That ficus was eyein’ me, bro!”
But Zoe does her job well; Zach half expects her to pull her car keys out and start jingling them to distract Chris with the shiny. It would probably work at least twice before he got suspicious.
The lewd saxophone music screeches to a stop and is replaced by the score to Psycho. Conveniently, Zach’s already within head-knocking range of the wall, so he merrily sets about banging his way to unconsciousness until a throw pillow knocks him off rhythm. “Dude,” says Chris, “might wanna give those remaining brain cells a rest.” “No need,” Zach says lightly. “I’ll be dead by morning anyway.” Chris sits up and groans. “Fucking hell, how is it this hard to get into your pants?” “I- What?” “Not that I thought you were a manwhore or anything, but what do I have to do? Text you naked photos of me reading Kierkegaard?”
There was a kind of magnificence in the unholiness of it all. That living room was a vision of hell, but like, Dantean hell... you know, dramatic as well as horrifying
You just... you just can't taste hot lube and forget the taste. It sticks with you for eternity.
Toyota: Moving forward, even if you don't want to.
"Stop defamin' me. This is why I call y'all a whore in front of the chil'ren, y'know."
"I'd like you to meet my mom, so you know what happened to me as a child to make me insane. I'd like to buy a house in New Mexico and retire there with you and sweat to death while I listen to you bitch about how cold it is."
Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal.
DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING
"TASTE MY BISEXUAL FURY" -Zachary Quinto
“That’s good. Anyway, I can be back there ASAP. Hey, How’s Tony?” “Tony is still pissed that they haven’t even found there way to his planet yet.” Matthew adds. “Well, he can stop being a butt and lead us there himself if he’s so pissed.”
“Oh, it’s legal, it’s Legal! So is waking up your grandma dress like Hitler! You just don’t do it! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MAKE ME JELLY, BITCH! Ja, mein fuhrer, Ja!”
“Oh, and for the biscuits,-” The other siblings stared, and T’kolpe added “Coowies?” “-we demand- a sacrifice!”
“What is it this time?” Jim sighed, standing up and placing his free hand on his hip. There were a certain two officers that eyes focused on that hand before looking back to the conversation.
“We want... a shrubbery!” The other children went “Ni! Ni! Ni!” in the background.
Scars were proof, badges of honor and pride that showed all others your abilities and your strength. There was no shame in wounds that had already healed, only in those you knew never would.
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0809/funny-bathroom-demotivational-poster-1222130687.jpg THAT'S FOR ALL YOU MEN OUT THERE
I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in an awesome rack.
Holy Fuck, is it, it’s a dinosaur! Jesus Christ, What the F1^@!
“Everybody says, SAVE A HORSE, RIDE A COWBOOOY!”
Miss Princess Unicorn Rainbow Sparkles The Third Brings super happy sparkle rainbow love to all of you miserable bastards.
It's ironic, since he's obviously the more powerful of the two of them. He's the president, high priest, and king of three different civilizations, and as of season 3, has increasingly powerful psychic powers. There's a point in 304 where you can read Sam's mind, and find that he's privately worrying to himself that Max won't want a partner anymore, now that he's so strong. Yet he's still perfectly happy to follow Sam around and do what he says.
Why would I leave you just because I’m powerful? That’d be like the fantastical bunicorn princess who can shoot laser beams from her horn leaving the commoner’s talking pet dog [that later on transforms into a six-foot tall bi-pedal dog] who was always kind to her for no reason what-so-ever. And the reason she was leaving him was because she had a position to get back to? Whatever, man, that’s not nearly as fun as playing and destroying stuff with the talking dog. It just makes no sense for her to leave!
(It seems we broken Hell. Don’t worry, we can raise some more!)
“Oh Dear, it seems I am completely naked.” “Oh Dear!” “Oh, it seems I’m going to have to bend over provocatively to- “That’s enough Max.”
Or, for those of you who prefer the Colon format,
Sam: Max, distract Hugh Bliss for me!
Max: Oh dear, I seem to be completely naked.
Hugh Bliss: Oh Dear!
Max: I hope I don't have to bend over provocatively and-
Sam: That's enough, Max.
Max: Hey! Hang ona second! We don't have gills!
Sam: It's a cartoon, jarhead. We have remarkable lung-capacity!
Sam: I wonder what would happen if I open this wardrobe...
Max: Don't do it, Sam! It'll probably lead to a land of whimsical characters and thinly-disguised religious allegories!
Sam: Good point. We already had that kind of trouble when we went into that tollbooth.
Sam: Spider-webs and spooky houses go together like well-dressed dogs and naked bunnies.
Max: How many times have I told you not to use the "b-word", Sam?
Max: We can plant a tree! Or teach a child to read! Or teach a tree to read! Yaaaaaaay!
Max: Can we read to the blind, Sam? Can we?
Max: I don't need my earthly stomach any more, Sam. I'm on Hugh Bliss's cleansing fast of water, lemon, and sunshine!
Max: "OK that's it! Destroying the world, conquering the Galaxy, whatever; but driving a gas-guzzler is where I draw the line!"
Max: I know you're the source of all evil, but wasting office supply for personal use... That's just wrong!
In "The City That Dares Not Sleep," Sam claims that he's never seen Max cry on his own except to lure his prey into a false sense of security.
Sam: How are we breathing?
Max: You're breathing?
Sam: That was the Commissioner.
Max: Did he get my notes?
Sam: Yes, but he said to quit carving them into the suspects. He can't read them without his bifocals.
Max: Why don't I just write bigger?
Sam: "I'm Sam. He's Max. We bust punks."
Sam: Are these powers dangerous for Max at all?
Dr. Momma Bosco: Well... probably not. If he's careful and uses them responsibly.
Sam: And what if it's Max?
Dr. Momma Bosco: Then he'll overwork his brain so much that it catches fire and explodes.
Max: Oh I have got to see that!
"You know, Donald Duck never wore pants, but when he comes out of the shower, he puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what's that about?"
I’M NAKED! Oh, I thought we were all just saying that.)Max straightened Sam’s Tie! In the Middle of a life-or-death run away! Kyaaaaaa! *fangirl squeals for a good part of the hour*(
WAIT WAIT WAIT. Doesn’t that Mean Max gets married next?
I’m gonna Miss those guys.
Never say that again, Max. Not even as a joke.
Corndogs. One is too many. One hundred in NEVER ENOUGH. >:D
Ladies and Horrible Monsters first! Not you, Not-Max.
But I’M a horrible monster!
Do you find my warmth ALARMING, Sam?FASJKEFASEFD Modern Culture refrences? Gotta get that Boom Boom Boom? Should have put a ring on it? YES.
“To the feeeeeeet. To the feeeeeeeeet. To the feeeeeeeeeet-.” “US.”
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Corn Dogs... Corn do... Wait... Madre De Dios! La Cuckaracha!
When Max is around Sam in the 3rd Season, Max will do that affection thing with his hands and his head, where he seems to go “D’aaaaaaw”. It’s random, but cute. As is the teleporting.
Max has short term memory loss.
AAAH! Giant Talking Dog!
View Post Max's terrifying head is a universal symbol of something or other.Keep one in the first-aid kit, and don't forget to keep a spare in the family car, okay?
Heavy: In my country, we never use such language, you filth-mouthed мудак!
Tycho: ...You just called me an asshole in Russian, didn't you?
Heavy (in shame): ...Yes.
Max: See, kids? Gambling is fun and educational! Impress your friends! Confuse your enemies! Look like an idiot in Spanish class!
Max: Sam, either termites are burrowing through my skull or one of us is ticking.
Sam: Ooops. Oh yeah. (Pulls out head/bomb of the robot mad scientist they just dispatched in the intro). Max, where should I put this so that it doesn't hurt anyone we know or care about?
Max: Out the window, Sam! There's nothing but strangers out there.
Belkar: So, I did what I always do-murder people horribly-but because I killed the people everyone else wanted me to kill, I get presents instead of prison time?
Roy: Uh, well, it's a lot more complicated than that, but-
In order to "save" the world, Max has to personally punch everyone in the face.