CRACK.
He’d been waiting for this one for months, since that advertisement on match.com had showed up: single, tall, dark, handsome, looking for a man who likes a little power struggle. And that picture…well, while location wasn’t exactly perfect, they’d been exchanging text messages for months, and he’d decided it was time for the Next Step. So he’d sent along a couple of Innsmouthians and one of those stone representations of himself. And fluttered nervously in the intervening months. What if it got lost in the mail? What if his darling thought he was lying about his appearance? It could all go terribly. And sitting half asleep in his dread city of R’lyeh, he had a lot of time to fret. (He spent most of it giving Dagon the screaming horrors, which was always entertaining, but then Nyarlahotep told him to stop.)
And finally the letter had arrived, with a package attached. With a squeal of intense glee, he snatched it away from the fish-man and tore it open with his prehensile tentacles. Some delightfully putrid flesh floated out, tantalizing, but he managed to read the note, first.
Dearest,
I hope you will accept this small token of my appreciation. What a wonderful gift! I have installed it in a central location and it makes my days just a little bit brighter. Never fear, I know this isn’t the choicest of gifts, but soon we shall be together forever and annihilate the world, remaking it in our glorious and tentacular images! Doesn’t that sound just marvelous?
Love,
Lord Melkor, the Great and Awesome
Cthulhu beamed and snatched the rotting bit of flesh from the air. How had he known to send his favorite? Maybe he would send a couple mad souls, next time, just to prove his commitment. And eventually…
Our glorious and tentacular images. He would have to have that engraved somewhere. On a ring, perhaps. Though of course the proposal would have to wait until a proper in person meeting.
He giggled with unholy glee at the thought. And after a moment’s pause, ate the fish-man too.
There were always more. And in these tough times, it paid to be economical.