baby, you're a lost cause
The thunderstorm outside reflects my mood perfectly... In fact, I started yelling at someone in my mind and the thunder ripped all the louder, rain started pouring into my house... I feel like I did as a kid, when I found out my grandpa had died. I ran outside and it began to pour. As rain and tears collectively became one running down my face, thunder ripped as I screamed out in agony. I remember at the time, feeling so connected with Nature, like she was mourning a loss with me. I feel the same way again.
Right now I'm more angry than compassionate at this person. They're being juvenile, and I don't care if that pisses them off. It's almost enraging me at this point that I'm putting so much effort into such a lost fucking cause that's determined to see me as this pathetic waste of existence. If I was the horrible person they're so determined to make me, I wouldn't be trying so hard to salvage our friendship... I only keep fighting because it's making me sick inside. They're the inhuman fuck who just walks away from something they know is meaningful, and I'm sick of blaming myself for it. Maybe Cody is right: Fuck him.
It's important now to fully let them go before they do more damage in my life. I won't cut them completely off yet (they'll probably do this to me first), but I won't try anymore, either. They have no interest in being friends again, and I have nothing left. The more I talk, the worse I make things, anyway. All I have is the way I feel inside... Even if I project it, it does me no good.
But man, does it pour.
Right now I'm more angry than compassionate at this person. They're being juvenile, and I don't care if that pisses them off. It's almost enraging me at this point that I'm putting so much effort into such a lost fucking cause that's determined to see me as this pathetic waste of existence. If I was the horrible person they're so determined to make me, I wouldn't be trying so hard to salvage our friendship... I only keep fighting because it's making me sick inside. They're the inhuman fuck who just walks away from something they know is meaningful, and I'm sick of blaming myself for it. Maybe Cody is right: Fuck him.
It's important now to fully let them go before they do more damage in my life. I won't cut them completely off yet (they'll probably do this to me first), but I won't try anymore, either. They have no interest in being friends again, and I have nothing left. The more I talk, the worse I make things, anyway. All I have is the way I feel inside... Even if I project it, it does me no good.
But man, does it pour.