My pulse reverberates through this malleable shell.

[minutesarehours]

It's late.. I should be sleeping, but I find myself here. I don't even know. I feel a sense of emptiness. I haven't felt like myself lately, and i'm not in a depressed mode or anything. I have no ill feelings toward anyone who lives here nor Lisa. I still love her all the same and am content on all of the friends I now have. Maybe it's that everything keeps repeating itself. Each day is the same, and yeah I could do something about it but i'm not, not in the least. It's as if I don't care but in all reality I really wan't to take initiative and be active. I need something different to happen. I need to be somewhere else, if only for a little while. My biggest problem is I don't want to settle for anything less then I deserve, but then I think do I really deserve that much.. have I really gotten that far? The answer to that is no. I'm a grade A loser/slacker/whatever you wan't to call a member of lazy america. I fear for if I don't make a difference tommorrow or the next day, i'm losing myself more and more.

I also feel like i'm losing touch with my family. I don't want a day to come along where I don't see my sisters or mother or my father for that matter and then there gone.

I wanna be better, but i'm just not doing/showing enough to anyone to sugests i can.