my pairing fail, let me show you it
Spencer's own gaze dropped then, his focus fixed on a crack in one of the tiles lining the sinks behind Ryan as the thoughts suddenly entered his mind, unbidden, and wouldn't stop. After letting a few moments pass, Ryan was finally about to say something when Spencer beat him to it.
"Why..." Spencer began, Ryan watching the movement of his throat as he swallowed, finally lifting his head to look at Ryan again. "Why not us?"
And. Fuck. Ryan felt the word more than thought it, realisation crashing over him because the confusion and hurt - fuck, hurt - was just so clear in Spencer's expression, in his eyes, and Ryan had done that, he'd caused it. A faint self loathing started to curl in his stomach, drifting up to seize his chest too, Ryan's heartbeat seeming to intensify somehow even though he knew it was just his imagination overrunning, his mind starting to panic because as many words as he scribbled in his notebook every day, as much time he spent playing with them, trying to shape and twist them into lyrics decent enough, good enough for something, Ryan couldn't think of what to say. He didn't have to worry about that just then though, not when Spencer spoke again before he had the chance.
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stupid sekrit OTP lol. pairing fail. sigh.
"Why..." Spencer began, Ryan watching the movement of his throat as he swallowed, finally lifting his head to look at Ryan again. "Why not us?"
And. Fuck. Ryan felt the word more than thought it, realisation crashing over him because the confusion and hurt - fuck, hurt - was just so clear in Spencer's expression, in his eyes, and Ryan had done that, he'd caused it. A faint self loathing started to curl in his stomach, drifting up to seize his chest too, Ryan's heartbeat seeming to intensify somehow even though he knew it was just his imagination overrunning, his mind starting to panic because as many words as he scribbled in his notebook every day, as much time he spent playing with them, trying to shape and twist them into lyrics decent enough, good enough for something, Ryan couldn't think of what to say. He didn't have to worry about that just then though, not when Spencer spoke again before he had the chance.
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stupid sekrit OTP lol. pairing fail. sigh.