Still so young, desperate for attention.
Tonight is hard. I don't know why.
Probably the big family dinner where I don't actually belong. As much as they try, as desperate as I am... I just couldn't feel it. I haven't been this upset in ages, probably not since Chris called weeks ago. Pissed off, anxious, angry, sure. But this hurts.
I wrote that first line without knowing why teh angsty and then it just hit me.
I don't know why the fuck I'm so tired when I slept a lot last night and did fuck all except write today. It's stupid.
Emo over.
I wrote angsty, fairly epic priestfuck (not typo ma bbs) today. It sorta got away from me. I wish I had the ability to write porn and NOT describe EVERY LITTLE THING. It bugs me. Maybe it makes for good porn, I really don't know.
I don't think it'll be the next priestfic chapter tbh. But fuck, that means I have to write whatever else it's gonna be like, yesterday. Crap. Oh well, at least I'm in a Ryan-y mood, even if it's probably gonna change by tomorrow.
Right. Rambling. I stop nao. Bai.
Probably the big family dinner where I don't actually belong. As much as they try, as desperate as I am... I just couldn't feel it. I haven't been this upset in ages, probably not since Chris called weeks ago. Pissed off, anxious, angry, sure. But this hurts.
I wrote that first line without knowing why teh angsty and then it just hit me.
I don't know why the fuck I'm so tired when I slept a lot last night and did fuck all except write today. It's stupid.
Emo over.
I wrote angsty, fairly epic priestfuck (not typo ma bbs) today. It sorta got away from me. I wish I had the ability to write porn and NOT describe EVERY LITTLE THING. It bugs me. Maybe it makes for good porn, I really don't know.
I don't think it'll be the next priestfic chapter tbh. But fuck, that means I have to write whatever else it's gonna be like, yesterday. Crap. Oh well, at least I'm in a Ryan-y mood, even if it's probably gonna change by tomorrow.
Right. Rambling. I stop nao. Bai.