"Do you feel okay? You look pretty low, very handsome awkward"
Today was mostly good, and a fair bit strange and awkward also. As 'Heritage Day' was yesterday, there was a thing, nothing really happened in church, but I got to hang out with the kids on their last day here so that was pretty awesome. Alice is so sweet, 3 years old and louder than the rest so she makes sure she gets heard. She pwns.
Then there was 'Riding Ale' back at the rectory and wine and shit and... yeah. Good times lol. Hung out with Stew, and David, and why do I get on so well with older men? It's not like I can get with either of them. Stew's married obv, and David's gay. lol we spent the other day bumming about together watching Big Brother and rating the guy's legs and bodies. I'm glad he's staying here, also makes me feel less awkward as an adopted stray.
Speaking of 'awkward', I love Elizabeth but inviting my mother to lunch is a surefire way to stir shit up. She'd had a bit to drink, so got into it right away. 'Why wasn't I doing this, or that, and was I going to get a First degree next year?' BECAUSE NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH, STILL. I hate that I actually care about her approval; it's automatic still. Graham came over and intervened, making her Congratualate me lol, I love him. And I probably didn't help the situation by bitching at her but again, IT'S AUTOMATIC.
Aaaaand, the most awkward was when Elizabeth made me sit next to her on the sofa. Literally told me to b/c I'd reverted to being about thirteen and it made sense to be childish and try and sit on the floor. Idk lol. It was only right in the middle of the convo that I realised my body language was awkward as all hell. Like, one arm wrapped around my body, legs crossed, my other arm holding myself leaning against the arm of the sofa as far from her as possible. Trying to protect myself and ready to bolt much? Sigh. Just hope it wasn't obvious to anyone else.
Then I napped and did my patented 'wake up and freak out 'cause you have no idea what time it is or day it is'. Idk why I do that, but it's only with daytime naps lol.
And I was gonna write but that didn't happen, obv. Psyched about gangfic though :D
Then there was 'Riding Ale' back at the rectory and wine and shit and... yeah. Good times lol. Hung out with Stew, and David, and why do I get on so well with older men? It's not like I can get with either of them. Stew's married obv, and David's gay. lol we spent the other day bumming about together watching Big Brother and rating the guy's legs and bodies. I'm glad he's staying here, also makes me feel less awkward as an adopted stray.
Speaking of 'awkward', I love Elizabeth but inviting my mother to lunch is a surefire way to stir shit up. She'd had a bit to drink, so got into it right away. 'Why wasn't I doing this, or that, and was I going to get a First degree next year?' BECAUSE NOTHING IS GOOD ENOUGH, STILL. I hate that I actually care about her approval; it's automatic still. Graham came over and intervened, making her Congratualate me lol, I love him. And I probably didn't help the situation by bitching at her but again, IT'S AUTOMATIC.
Aaaaand, the most awkward was when Elizabeth made me sit next to her on the sofa. Literally told me to b/c I'd reverted to being about thirteen and it made sense to be childish and try and sit on the floor. Idk lol. It was only right in the middle of the convo that I realised my body language was awkward as all hell. Like, one arm wrapped around my body, legs crossed, my other arm holding myself leaning against the arm of the sofa as far from her as possible. Trying to protect myself and ready to bolt much? Sigh. Just hope it wasn't obvious to anyone else.
Then I napped and did my patented 'wake up and freak out 'cause you have no idea what time it is or day it is'. Idk why I do that, but it's only with daytime naps lol.
And I was gonna write but that didn't happen, obv. Psyched about gangfic though :D