30 Quills: That Thing You Search For (#20 ~ The difference between love and desire. . .)
Note: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff. Why? Because I like to rot teeth, that’s why. Also because Miss Julie draws the sweetest Billy/Teddy scenes in existence.
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That Thing You Search For
30 Quills challenge: #20~ The difference between love and desire . . .
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Monday he receives a text from Billy, that he cannot make it to training. He is running a fever and his mother is forcing him to stay home until it breaks and he is no longer a contagious. Teddy spends the day texting him throughout class, daring to risk the confiscation of his phone, a one way ticket to detention, or both. That night, he calls Billy, and they talk until Billy’s sleepy replies begin to sound hoarse and Teddy ushers him to bed.
Tuesday he receives another text from Billy, his fever is running higher than yesterday, now his throat is sore and he seems to be developing a cough. That day Teddy has to sweet talk Mrs. Johnson out of taking his phone away during lab, and narrowly misses getting a detention in Mr. Parker’s class when his phone buzzes during their pop quiz. Training is three hours of agitated distraction in which he gets yelled at by Eli several times, and given that look by Nathaniel.
He doesn’t wait to get home to call Billy, dialing his number as soon as he heads for the train. Billy sounds stuffed up, coughing or sneezing in alternate measures, and the cough medicine has him a little loopy. Teddy does most of the talking this night and only hangs up when he hears Billy start to snore.
Wednesday he doesn’t receive any message at all, and no matter how much he fidgets with his phone, it doesn’t buzz back. After his tenth unanswered text, he starts to feel a little like the freaky stalker boyfriend and decides to just wait for Billy to reply, or call after school. His fragile willpower runs out midway through lunch hour. Slipping away from the cafeteria’s annoying din, Teddy jiggles his foot impatiently as Billy’s number rings and rings. Just as he is sure he’s going to get voicemail, a groggy voice answers.
“Mgh, hello?”
“Billy, man-- you sound awful,” He frowns unseen, “What is this? You’re supposed to get better not worse.”
“I think, ngh, my white blood cells have turned traitor . . .”
Teddy smiles, at least Billy still had enough energy to be snarky.
“Sorry ‘bout this morning, had me kinda worried there,” He confessed, palming the back of his neck with his free hand and offering an embarrassed chuckle, “I thought maybe you’d been captured by Kang or something . . .”
For a long moment, all he can hear are Billy’s wheezing breaths, “Fuck, that could actually happen now, couldn’t it?”
Teddy laughs, feeling something warm bubble inside his chest, “It’s an unfortunate haphazard of the job, yes. Listen, think your mom will lift the the quarantine and let me over? What time’s she get home?”
“Late...Dad’s at a convention, so Mom’s gotta take my brothers to Little League tonight. Essentially, they’ve left me to fend for myself or die.”
“Poor baby,” Teddy snickers, then adds more seriously, “Why don’t I come keep you company then?”
There is a pause on the other end, “Mhn, I dun wanna get you sick, T.”
“Healing factor remember? I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten sick.”
“Mgnn, what about practice with the guys?”
“FYI, Billy. Taking care of your sick boyfriend always trumps team practice.”
He receives a quiet non-committal hum in reply. The kind Billy always gives him when he gets disconcerted by something Teddy has said; and he would bet his bottom dollar that the other boy is flushing for reasons other than his fever right now.
“Well, you don’t have to . . . ” Billy murmurs eventually.
“Do you not want me to come by?” Teddy asks, getting worried that Billy is still making excuses; maybe he is being a freaky stalker.
“N-No, it’s not that. It’s just that-- ahh--” Billy sneezes wetly, “Agh, hag gon--”
He hears Billy blows his nose before coming back with a sheepish mumble, “Sorry . . .”
“B,” Teddy stresses the nickname, tender but firm, “You wanna tell me what’s really up?”
The line crackles as Billy fidgets for a moment, before muttering something fast and unintelligible into the receiver.
“What was that now?”
Billy sighs dramatically, his admission soft and embarrassed, “Ugh, I said it’s just that I didn’t want you to see me looking like some viral incubator. I’m not exactly . . . all that attractive at the moment. . .”
“That’s it?” Teddy can’t help his relieved laughter, “Billy, you dork.”
“Shaddup.”
Teddy is sure the smile cracking his face is evident in his voice, “Get some rest, I’ll see after school. You want me to bring you anything?”
“You serious?”
“Of course,” Teddy assures, “Think you can stomach some Krispy Kreme?”
“If I can’t, then it’ll be blissfully delicious while it lasts,” his voice is scratchy after he pauses to cough, “Thanks, Teddy.”
“Sure B, see you in a bit.”
Anticipation automatically makes the few hours left of school drag on for an eternity. He is the first out the door when the bell finally rings and in less than half an hour he is knocking on Billy’s door, iced coffee in one hand, a box of donuts in the other.
When Billy opens the door, he is coughing into the sleeve of his frumpy-looking pajamas, hair mussed and sticking up at odd angles from lying in bed most of the day. His skin looks sallow, though his cheeks are tinged red with fever, and his nose could give Rudolph some competition. Listless brown eyes blink up at him and Teddy is moving without even needing to think about it. He folds an unresisting Billy into his arms, juggling the foodstuffs.
“Geez, Billy, you look like shit.”
“Always such a charmer,” He replies dryly, but burrows into Teddy’s warmth with a contented sigh.
“Aren’t I? Brought you some iced coffee. Caffeine and sore throat relief all in one conveniently tasty package.”
“Have I ever told you how great you are?”
“Not enough.”
Billy’s laugh turns into a long cough, “Ugh.”
“Hold these,” Teddy offers a sympathetic smile and pushes the food at Billy. Without warning he scoops his startled boyfriend up in this arms and is carrying up the stairs to his room.
“Teddy! This is totally unnecessary--”
“Shut up, you like it,” Teddy kisses his clamy forehead and has to bite back a chuckle when he gets that non-committal hum once again.
Billy puts the donuts down long enough for them both to settle into his bed before opening the box to dig in. He makes an appreciative noise and offers Teddy the remote although at this hour its mostly early evening news and afternoon talk shows. Heavenly as they are, the donuts don’t sit well and Billy makes intimate acquaintance with the toilet bowl before the hour is out. Teddy helps him back to bed, and Billy can tell by the tightness is his brow that he’s berating himself regardless of his reassurances that he’s fine now.
Finally Billy alleviates his guilt by coaxing him into heating up some soup, which Teddy insists on spoon feeding him. Billy thinks maybe he should feel more annoyed, but Teddy’s gentle smile is making it hard to feel anything but grateful. Afterwards, they order a movie off pay-per-view, and despite the coffee he had earlier, Billy ends up nodding off on Teddy’s shoulder halfway through, feeling more than a little content.
Left alone with his thoughts, Teddy finds himself ignoring most of the movie in favor of watching Billy sleep. Its is such a ridiculously domestic moment, that it feels out of place in the absurd surreality that has become his life these past couple months. If someone had asked him a few months ago where he thought he was going to end up in life, super heroism would not have even been an option.
Getting recruited by a boy from the 31st century for an amateur super team to fight against one of the worst villains in the Avenger’s repertoire is something that could only happen in one of his comic books. Except this is actually his life now, even though there are a lot of days during training with the others where he is certain he is dreaming or he has simply gone off the deep end. Then Billy makes a snarky comment, or just smiles at him, and Teddy feels anchored again; he feelsreal.
Until recently, Teddy had always been one of the popular kids, with no shortage of people willing to hang out with him, but his so-called ‘friends’ knew next to nothing about him and had even less in common. Still for years, Teddy preferred to be alone in a crowd, to let himself be steered into questionable situations for fear of being rejected and finding himself truly alone, without even the cold comfort of a fake friendship.
Yet, Billy-- Billy simply amazes him. Billy who is scrawny and neurotic, scathinglysarcastic and as stereotypically geeky as they come, is the bravest person Teddy has ever known simply because he is not afraid to be himself, damned the consequences. He has the inner strength to accept himself as he is, and not allow others to tell him he should be any other way. Billy wears his heart on his sleeve to be read like an open book by any curious passerby. Teddy, who was so used to the shark infested waters of the popular crowd, where every smile is lined with daggers and back handed compliments, was dumbfounded by such openness when they first met.
Bewilderment quickly turned to awe. Awe led to the biggest crush of his life, which considering how many years he let himself be strung along by Greg, was saying a lot. Billy taught Teddy how to be himself, not what others wanted him to be, and somewhere along the way was even brave enough to agree to be Teddy’s boyfriend. Now-- Now Teddy is trying to find words to describe this feeling as the arm Billy is using for a pillow starts going numb. Billy’s mouth has fallen open to ease his breathing, and drool spills slowly out of the corner of his mouth to dampen Teddy’s new shirt.
It’s not the most attractive picture in the world, yet Teddy can’t get enough of it. He feels like he wants to burst with this feeling. It’s like-- like that thing that everyone in books, and movies, and even comics sometimes, are always searching for. That thing that makes you want to be a better person. That makes you want to scream and jump and sometimes cry. That thing that makes him want to protect and treasure this boy in his arms because even thinking about not having Billy in his life anymore makes it hard to breathe. It dawns on him that he has found that thing before he even realized he’d been looking for it. He shifts forward and kisses Billy on the nose. The other boy makes a small snort and drifts awake.
“Mghuh?” Billy questions, rubbing tired eyes.
When he looks up, he has no idea what has prompted the tender smile Teddy is looking at him with, but it makes him smile back drowsily. It is at that moment that he feels the wetness at the corner of his mouth and can’t help having a momentary spazz as he rubs it away quickly, only to find there is already a small wet spot Teddy’s shirt. Nice Kaplan, way to attract a guy.
“Ugh, gross. No way-- did I just? I totally just drooled on you-- shit. Sorry, I--” his flaky tirade is cut off by Teddy’s laughter, long fingers twining with his own.
"I love you," Teddy says to him for the very first time, without preamble, prompt or the slightest hint of hesitation.
Billy feels himself go red staring at Teddy's perfectly serious, smiling but not-at-all-joking face. His insides can't decide between doing an Irish jig or the polka, and Billy is sure he is taking way too long to reply-- though not because he is unsure of his own feelings, nor for lack of wanting-- but because he is too busy having an apoplectic fit of joy inside his head to spare any brain power for actual word processing.
He takes a hitching breath, fingers curling tight around Teddy's, lips parting to say, "I--"
And promptly sneezes in Teddy's face. The moment that follows drags on for an awkward eternity.
Teddy's face is scrunched up in undeniable displeasure and it takes him a moment to peak an eye open before he wipes his face with his sleeve. Billy decides he is going leave his face buried in his pillow until he completely suffocates.
"Billy. Kaplan."
"Leave me alone to die," interrupts his muffled and very mortified response.
"You need to learn to cover your mouth when you sneeze," Teddy lectures unfazed, ignoring the whine of complaint Billy makes as he manhandles him out of his pillowy crypt and pulls him close until their foreheads are resting together, "But I still love you."
Billy's face is spectacularly red and he refuses to meet Teddy's eyes, even this close, but he manages to mumble slightly petulant, but entirely truthful.
“I love you too.”
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Fin
~30 Quills Fic Index~