A Smoothie
I'm exhausted.
Really - I just want to end it there. I'm even tired of hearing myself bitch and moan about it too.
Because oh, have I. To all the people I swore I wouldn't talk to, I ended up - just gushing like a fool. This morning I was so peppy and its by evening time that I find myself, feeling as if there are not enough hours in the day to do the things I need to do, to get done.
I never feel finished - even now, aside from LJ there are about a thousand things I can think of, off the top of my head, to do. I have so many plans and just... I don't want to see them come crashing down around me. Again.
That's so depressing, isn't it? And it isn't even like me. I feel like I have nothing to show for my progress and I know that day by day, I'm losing time on what I could be using to progress myself further. I understand, it takes time to get these things down, they don't happen over night, but I'm afraid that I'll just end up forgetting altogether.
So, I was a bit surprised, to realize the obvious.
I just need to exercise before class. As in, wake up an hour early, work out for an hour, shower, eat then go to class. I know, sounds like a big blow up - but maybe not. I'm too tired to work out at the end of the day and rather than having to just scrutnize my calories, I want to start it up again. I miss having a car, to drive me to the gym and work, but I don't want to wait six months just to get my life back on tracks. So I set a reminder, an alarm on my phone to get me up at 5AM. Ugh, it wont be easy, but honestly - I need it, emotionally. I'm tired of feeling this way.
Better yet, I'm exhausted, from just feeling tired. Lol. Bloody contradiction. But I know exercise releases endorphines and I'm crraaving those right now. It's a Wednesday but - better late than never, right?
Really - I just want to end it there. I'm even tired of hearing myself bitch and moan about it too.
Because oh, have I. To all the people I swore I wouldn't talk to, I ended up - just gushing like a fool. This morning I was so peppy and its by evening time that I find myself, feeling as if there are not enough hours in the day to do the things I need to do, to get done.
I never feel finished - even now, aside from LJ there are about a thousand things I can think of, off the top of my head, to do. I have so many plans and just... I don't want to see them come crashing down around me. Again.
That's so depressing, isn't it? And it isn't even like me. I feel like I have nothing to show for my progress and I know that day by day, I'm losing time on what I could be using to progress myself further. I understand, it takes time to get these things down, they don't happen over night, but I'm afraid that I'll just end up forgetting altogether.
So, I was a bit surprised, to realize the obvious.
I just need to exercise before class. As in, wake up an hour early, work out for an hour, shower, eat then go to class. I know, sounds like a big blow up - but maybe not. I'm too tired to work out at the end of the day and rather than having to just scrutnize my calories, I want to start it up again. I miss having a car, to drive me to the gym and work, but I don't want to wait six months just to get my life back on tracks. So I set a reminder, an alarm on my phone to get me up at 5AM. Ugh, it wont be easy, but honestly - I need it, emotionally. I'm tired of feeling this way.
Better yet, I'm exhausted, from just feeling tired. Lol. Bloody contradiction. But I know exercise releases endorphines and I'm crraaving those right now. It's a Wednesday but - better late than never, right?