Facebook Fun: We Kid Because We...
Maggie El-Fakahany: Worst compliments...
MEF: Your teeth are the exact shade of yellow I want to paint my living room.
Gonzo Haller: You ever watch that show on Nick called "Salute Your Shorts"? You look like Donkey Lips
Tweety Workman Thompson: You're at least thinner than my mom.
Hal Dahlquist: Nice cankles.
MEF: You make me so hopeful about finding love. I mean, if a freak like you can land a good one then there must be hope for anybody.
Dot Fischer: I've seen your mom and you're going to be so hot when we're old.
Yakko Wilkes: The years have been kind to you.
MEF: I love how soft you feel when I hug you. You're so plushy.
TWT: I'm dating you because your dog is awesome. Seriously, I just want to hang out with your dog.
MEF: You are such good inspiration for losing weight and eating right.
MEF: Your face makes me want pizza.
Stewie Edstrom: Your laughter makes me want to punch farm animals.
GH: I look into your eyes and think "if I can't get it up for this one lady... then I must really be gay."
GH: I love the way your beard matches your flesh
YW: I only find myself fantasizing about other people while we're having sex about 50% of the time.
DF: ^ huh, I find that percentage a little low
YW: You're right Dot Fischer, I was ALWAYS fantasizing about someone else. Usually Animal Lloyd, Snow Dukart, a threesome with both of them. :P
DF: ^ I freakin' knew it! And, may I say (though I love them both dearly) ew.
TWT: Ow. My brain.
YW: What can I say, rejection turns me on. ;D And usually Snow Dukart was the one putting handcuffs on people, not Animal Lloyd.
DF: Well, duh, she was putting them on Animal. Everyone clearly sees that, right?
YW: Oh dear, now I just need to describe the entire scene don't I...
DF: Guess which Disney princess Animal was dressed up as
TWT: Were they fluffy, pink handcuffs with Disney characters etched in the steel?
DF: Yes
TWT: Keep going Tweety Workman Thompson, You're just giving me more material. Oh, and Twilight is playing in the background.
DF: ^ Okay, red.
YW: ^SUCCESS!!!!^
TWT: Can I murder your ex for that mental image?
DF: Yes
But only if you video tape it
TWT: I'll make sure to dress him up in a clown suit, then throw him off a cliff.
DF: Psh, you can come up with a better death than a cliff
TWT: Flogged to death by zombie moogles.
DF: Ooo!
Can we dump glitter in the wounds for the Twilight comment?
TWT: Yes. And broken glass.
DF: Like it, love it, let's do it!
YW: Describe Erotic Scenarios we would rather not imagine our friends doing.
YW: Anything involving Dot Fischer and clowns.
TWT: Yakko Wilkes, dressed up in a clown suit, being flogged to death by zombie moogles, with glitter and broken glass rubbed in the wounds.
DF: Stewie and hot chicks; as in end-deep in deep-fried baby chickens.
YW: Stewie Edstrom is left alone in a crazy cat lady's home for the weekend, miles from anywhere, with 10 gallons of cream, 50 cans of tuna, and barrel of peanut oil.
SE: ^Psh... Normal Friday night.
YW: Oh my gods, did I actually find something Dot Fischer won't 'Like'?
DF: Psh, like the cats would want him, even with 10 gallons of cream. I can't like it. I just can't. I hate anything that would waste food like that.
SE: Dot says, "Rub that big red nose all over me" Sure thing
DF: ^ I hate you.
SE: Obviously not enough by my calculations.
SE: HA!
DF: What? What do you have to be proud of?
SE: All of it
DF: Wrong
Check your calculations; I think you forgot to carry a one somewhere in there
SE: So your hatred for me reached a limit
DF: It's more or less a constant
TWT: Snow Dukart, dressed up as Princess Jasmine, quietly sitting on the couch delicately eating chocolates while Rajah the Tiger "plays" with Yakko Wilkes.
Sylvester Thompson: Stewie Edstrom, a coatrack, and weighted anal hooks.
DF: ^ eh, I'd watch that
TWT: See, there is very little here that I wouldn't want to watch.
SE: ^ those weighted anal hooks won't do much good when I have gas.
TWT: ^ I'm sure that if I film it, there is a site that would pay me cash money for sending it in.
DF: Yakko Wilkes as an adult baby; there's a diaper NO ONE wants to change.
TWT: ^ Not watching.
TWT: I'm not liking that.
DF: I wouldn't either
DF: ^ Here, borrow my mind-bleach; I promise, it'll help
TWT: It's ok. I have Fabio Lione and Christopher Lee screaming awesome in my ear. I can always retreat to my happy place if I need to.
YW: A Tiger is just a big pussy that eats men Tweety. I'm okay dying this way.
DF: ^ PROOF. You all read that, right? Consent was given. Let the planning begin.
DF: Wait...we can still do the glitter in the wounds, right? Cause that was my favorite part.
ST: See, the problem is the blood. When a pussy and blood come together, men tend to steer clear...
DF: ...if we add glitter, does it make it better?
YW: As long as it's in a palace in India/the middle east, with Snow dressed as Jasmine when Jafar had her prisoner, and the tiger is actual TIGER actually named Rajah, I suppose there are worse ways to die. Get moving people, internet contracts last no longer than 30 days.
DF: ^ Not stipulated upon time of agreement. Requests made after consent will be taken under advisement, but aren't by any means binding.
TWT: ^ Although the fluffy, disney-engraved handcuffs are binding. :)
DF: ^Those were mentioned during the negotiation process, so yes, agreed
TWT: I wonder if there is a vendor that makes Disney-themed fetish gear.
DF: Psh, of course there are
You thought of it, someone out there does it
If not, they will
TWT: My dad wants to open up an online store of some sort for extra income and all of his ideas are stupid.
DF: I don't recommend recommending your dad to make Disney-themed fetish gear
TWT: He doesn't have to know what he's selling.
DF: Stewie in a carebear suit. In a room. With Necco.
Please, can we make this happen. Please.
SE: Shopping List for Friday night:
red nose
big ass shoes
frizzy red wig
insanely big bow tie and sunglasses...
DF: Shopping List for Friday night:
gun
DF: I love how this has turned into "things we don't want to imagine our friends doing" into "things we really want our friends to do"
TWT: More like "things we really want to do to our friends"
What can we say? We torture because we love. To torture.
SE: We hate because we care.
TWT: "I'm gonna find her, tie her up and torture her until she likes me again!"
YW: We bury the evidence, because it starts to smell.
YW: Dot... with JJ.
YW: dressed as a clown.
DF: Yakkp dressed as Dot with JJ dressed as a clown. Probably still not as horrifying as ^, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
ST: Dot handcuffed to a bed with the Disney handcuffs with a mirror on the ceiling dressed as a clown. Nobody else, just her in a clown suit and her thoughts...
DF: ^ That's one fucked-up, mean-ass mind trip there, boy. I tip my hat.
TWT: Occasionally, my husband likes to remind us that he's as fucked in the head as I am.
DF: ^ Aw, hope that there really is someone out there for everyone
SE: Can we drill a hole through the mirror and drip some water too?
ST: No, Stewie. Water would make the makeup run. That would make her happy as she would slowly watch herself emerge from being a clown.
SE: Oil based shouldn't run...
SE: Or a paint on latex to make her a mask.
DF: Psh, if it weren't me being tortured, the obvious solution would be to tattoo the makeup on the face. But as it is, you can't use my ideas to torture me; there are rules to such things.
SE: No there are not... All is fair in love and war.
DF: Fucking savage
ST: Dot, tattooing takes too much time and too much money, it would make you think we were putting effort into torturing you. Also, that would be much more effective torture if we gave you access to a sink to wash your face and you couldn't wash the clown off of you. That's also a pretty good torture scenario. Since I've changed the parameters, it is no longer your idea but merely inspired by your idea,. As such, I can use this idea to torture, as there are loopholes in rules to such things.
DF: no one likes a lazy, loop-holing torturer.
SE: ... we could always... just cover her face in spunk...
DF: is it clown spunk?
SE: of course!
TWT: You guys are overthinking this. Just tie her up and have a clown stand in front of her holding up signs written with bad grammar.
DF: ^ That's mean
TWT: I know my audience.
SE: written in clown rainbow spunk
TWT: ^ still, way too much work. Simple is best.
DF: Besides, it would kinda make me giggle. Hehe, rainbow spunk. Hehe.
SE: No really... Clowns will hump anything. maybe even more than Bogart and Neco.
DF: ^ It's true
TWT: Don't you mean Stewie Edstrom will hump anything? You and the dogs could have a hump-off.
DF: Well, (secretly) Stewie Edstrom is a clown. I've been hunting him for years. (See above "gun" comment)
SE: Hey hey... I have discretion... Example: I don't get off to lavendar care bears
DF: No, just the strawberry ones.
SE: SEE?! Not EVERYTHING!
SE: Or anything...