Love can really tear you up and it can break you down
Title: Just Like Nicotine
Fandom: Vegan Rockstar Verse
Characters: Jake/Sam (Aaron/Sam and Jake/Theo)
Rating: PG-13
Note: *apologizes profusely to Theo & Aaron* Jake and Sam made me do it!
Disclaimer: All belongs to vylentcrymz and I
Jake sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past seven minutes, trying to focus on his math textbook. Normally he wouldn’t give a fuck about farmer John’s apple crop for the month of January, but it was a welcome distraction from the fact that Theo was on a date with she-who- we-don‘t-speak-of, otherwise known as Felicia Summers.
It wasn’t that he was jealous. (Okay, he was practically seething but that really wasn’t the point) It was the fact that Felicia was so… wrong for him. She had a reputation, after all. Not the kind where her name was scribbled all over bathroom stalls, it was more of that pesky word of mouth that was so common in high schools (even Catholic ones) that got her into trouble. It had been almost too easy to dig up dirt on her, thanks to his connections on the cheerleading squad.
“At least Jenna was good for something,” he mumbled, tossing down his pencil before making the long trek across the kitchen for his stash of Doritos.
He had just put his hand on the cupboard door when he heard the doorbell. That all too familiar sinking feeling washed over him as he instinctively looked up at the clock. It was eight thirty, about three hours too early for Jack. After letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he opened the door with a grin. “I knew you’d come crawling back, Theo.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” the shadowy figure on the porch said, stepping into the light. “But it’s just me.”
“Sam!” he exclaimed, genuinely surprised. “You know I’m never disappointed with you around.”
“Oh, I bet you aren’t,” she teased, a smile playing on her lips.
Jake smiled too. “It’s good to see you doing that for a change.”
Sam’s smile faded slightly and they drifted into a uncomfortable silence. They both knew she hadn’t been smiling as much without Aaron around.
“Um, so,” Jake blurted out quickly, running a hand through his hair. “Come in.”
“Thanks,” Sam said, surveying her surroundings before pointing to a picture on the wall. “That your sister?”
“Yup, that’s Tara.”
She’s really pretty.“ Sam bit her lip, suddenly looking nervous. “I’m not… interrupting anything, am I?”
“Nope, just helping farmer John solve that pesky inventory problem. We go way back,” he joked. Sam blinked at him and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t mind me, just… math’s kinda frying my brain.”
“Ouch. You have my sympathies. I would offer to help but…”
“Math illiterate?”
“You got it.”
Jake walked back into the kitchen. “I was just getting ready to have a little snack break. We have Doritos. We also have…” He opened the fridge, scowling. “Um, some sort of moldy cheese and half of a beer. But we really do have Doritos.”
“I could go for a drink, actually. I’m not really a fan of beer, though.”
Jake looked over, surprised. “Really? Thought you weren’t much of a drinker.”
She shrugged, slowly tracing the outline of her pack of cigarettes in her jeans pocket. “Sort of turning over a new leaf these days.”
He nodded, even though he wasn’t sure he understood. “Well, lucky for you, I know where my dad keeps the scotch.”
Sam whistled. “Damn, scotch, huh? Guess he’s a drinker.”
“He’s a pain in my ass.”
Sam seemed to sense that Jack Austin was not one of his favorite topics and decided not to press it. After he came back with the bottle, she took a small sip and made a face before speaking. “So, your better half is out?”
“Theo? Yeah, he’s uh… on a date.”
“Really? What’s she like?”
“A soul sucking hell bitch.”
“Wow, say what you really think, Jake,” she said with a grin, taking another sip. “You’re not having any? Come on, it’s just plain sad to be drinking alone.”
“Dunno, Sam,” he teased. “Have all this homework to finish.”
“Screw homework.”
“See, I would but, be kinda hard to. Besides, seems kinda unfair to the poor homework.”
She giggled, shutting his textbook and poured him a glass. “Drink up.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
Sam watched him take a sip, biting her lip as she watched his leave the glass. “So, your dad’s…”
“Working,” he answered. “He usually gets home later or… you know, stays at the base.”
“Lucky you. So, what is a stud like you doing dateless on a Friday night, anyway?”
“Could ask you the same question.”
Sam smiled. “Finally! I am so glad you said that.”
“You are?”
Sam stood up to get some ice for her glass, pointing to the fridge and getting a nod from Jake. “I really am,” she said, popping some ice in her glass and reaching over the table for his. “I mean, nobody’s really given me permission to move on.”
“You shouldn’t need anyone’s permission.” He took his glass from her, ignoring the way that her thumb brushed his hand for a second too long, or the way her eyes seemed to lock onto his, brown on brown, a new sort of sensation that was nothing like staring into a certain someone’s ocean blue. “I mean, if you think you should move on, you should,” he said quickly, hoping to fill the silence.
Sam nodded, sitting her glass down slowly. “I’m glad you said that too,” she said softly, leaning down and capturing his lips.
Jake cupped her face, not even blinking as Sam’s tongue pushed past his lips. It was a reflex now, kissing. Something that was quickly becoming meaningless, just one simple step that lead to getting what he wanted. But what he wanted was turning out to become meaningless too, but it was numbing, normal and safe. There was no risk, no option of getting hurt. Sam’s tongue met his slowly, hesitantly, but the slow, gentle sensation caused his eyes to snap open. Was he really kissing Sam?
He pulled away as gracefully as he could, praying he sounded calmer than he felt. “Sam, what was…”
“Should think you of all people should know what that was, Jake,” she said calmly.
“Sam, you don’t want to…”
“I don’t?” she asked innocently, pressing her lips against his jaw. “I’m a big girl, Jake. Think I know what I want.”
He bit his lip, willing himself to stay still, stay quiet. “Sam,” he tried again.
“I’ve seen you, Jake. And I’ve seen you see me. So what’s the problem?”
He gulped, suddenly feeling very guilty for looking down her tank top at the movies that one time. “You don’t want me,” he said as firmly as he could.
“You don’t know that,” she said coyly, sucking on his earlobe.
“Yes, I do,” he said, fighting back a moan. “We both know what you want, who you want and it’s not me.”
Sam’s lips left his earlobe as quickly as they had came. She backed up to face him, putting her hands on her hips. “Oh great, not you too. You just told me to move on!”
“If you think that’s best. Keyword being you. I don’t think you should.”
Sam rolled her eyes, pulling out her carton and lighting a cigarette, standing near the open kitchen window. “I don’t seem to remember asking for your opinion,” she snapped.
“Sam,” he said softly. “I’m just saying that I think you should…”
She took a long drag on her cigarette before cutting him off. “What, go back to Aaron!? Take him back after he… no thank you.”
“Maybe you two could work it out.”
“Oh, right, we’ll go on Dr. Phil and use feeling words and everything will be great,” she said dryly.
“Well, sometimes if you get someone to talk after…”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about, Jake. Stop trying to help me.”
“Then help me understand it.”
She shook her head., watching the smoke curl and drift out the window. “You can’t, because you have no idea what it’s like. You have no idea what it’s like to be part of something that everyone knows you for. I’m not Sam, I was never Sam. I was Sam of Sam and Aaron. God, forbid anyone ever leave that out. We were our own little club and everybody knew that membership was limited. And I didn’t care! I never cared that nobody else ever tried to join in! Because everyone else didn’t matter if I had Aaron and now what do I have?”
Jake shook his head. “You’re more than Aaron’s girlfriend and you know it.”
“It’s more than that, Jake. You don’t know what it’s like to grow up with someone and even then, even when you’re too little to understand what loving them really means, you do anyway. You have no idea what it’s like to wait your whole life for that one day where they finally see the light and just fucking notice you. It’s… they’re all you want, and all you think about, no matter how hard you try to push them out. You'll always want one more taste, even if you can't have it.”
The words echoed off the pale green walls of the kitchen and Sam suddenly stamped out her cigarette, disgusted. Now she knew why she had been going through them like they were candy. They tasted like him. Sure, she’d joke about it being like kissing an ash tray, but there was something there, something more addictive than nicotine that they just couldn’t supply. “How did I get so fucked up?” she whispered, her voice cracking as she turned around.
Jake stood up, letting her fall into his arms and stroking her hair as she started to cry. “Shhh, you’re not, I promise. We all get scared. We’re weak, sometimes we can’t help it,” he said softly.
“But I tried to…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Think your virtue is still in tact here.”
“I wanted him to be the only boy I’ve ever kissed,” she whispered.
Jake tilted her head up sliding his finger under her chin and wiping her tears away. “Hey, you and Aaron? You waited for each other, do you have any idea how… It was special and you wouldn’t trade it for anything, right?”
Sam nodded, biting her lip.
“Then that’s all that matters.”
They stood there until Sam’s sobs stopped and the shoulder of Jake’s tee shirt was thoroughly soaked. “I’m sorry, Jake. I…for being such a mess and…”
He smiled a little, holding up a hand to cut her off. “We all have our moments, trust me. And, for what it’s worth, I get it. I get almost everything you said. It sucks when the people closest to you don’t even see you.”
Sam’s eyes widened and he knew that she’d figured it out, but for some reason, just like the Jack thing, she didn’t press it. He liked that.
“Well, I should..”
“Stay,” he said. “Don’t think you’re cured yet.”
She looked up. “I’m not?”
He shook his head, sliding an arm around her. “Nope, this is something only Spiderman and Doritos can cure.”
“Oooh, James!” Sam said happily. “I love him.”.
Jake shook his head. She was gonna be just fine.
Fandom: Vegan Rockstar Verse
Characters: Jake/Sam (Aaron/Sam and Jake/Theo)
Rating: PG-13
Note: *apologizes profusely to Theo & Aaron* Jake and Sam made me do it!
Disclaimer: All belongs to vylentcrymz and I
Jake sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past seven minutes, trying to focus on his math textbook. Normally he wouldn’t give a fuck about farmer John’s apple crop for the month of January, but it was a welcome distraction from the fact that Theo was on a date with she-who- we-don‘t-speak-of, otherwise known as Felicia Summers.
It wasn’t that he was jealous. (Okay, he was practically seething but that really wasn’t the point) It was the fact that Felicia was so… wrong for him. She had a reputation, after all. Not the kind where her name was scribbled all over bathroom stalls, it was more of that pesky word of mouth that was so common in high schools (even Catholic ones) that got her into trouble. It had been almost too easy to dig up dirt on her, thanks to his connections on the cheerleading squad.
“At least Jenna was good for something,” he mumbled, tossing down his pencil before making the long trek across the kitchen for his stash of Doritos.
He had just put his hand on the cupboard door when he heard the doorbell. That all too familiar sinking feeling washed over him as he instinctively looked up at the clock. It was eight thirty, about three hours too early for Jack. After letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he opened the door with a grin. “I knew you’d come crawling back, Theo.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” the shadowy figure on the porch said, stepping into the light. “But it’s just me.”
“Sam!” he exclaimed, genuinely surprised. “You know I’m never disappointed with you around.”
“Oh, I bet you aren’t,” she teased, a smile playing on her lips.
Jake smiled too. “It’s good to see you doing that for a change.”
Sam’s smile faded slightly and they drifted into a uncomfortable silence. They both knew she hadn’t been smiling as much without Aaron around.
“Um, so,” Jake blurted out quickly, running a hand through his hair. “Come in.”
“Thanks,” Sam said, surveying her surroundings before pointing to a picture on the wall. “That your sister?”
“Yup, that’s Tara.”
She’s really pretty.“ Sam bit her lip, suddenly looking nervous. “I’m not… interrupting anything, am I?”
“Nope, just helping farmer John solve that pesky inventory problem. We go way back,” he joked. Sam blinked at him and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t mind me, just… math’s kinda frying my brain.”
“Ouch. You have my sympathies. I would offer to help but…”
“Math illiterate?”
“You got it.”
Jake walked back into the kitchen. “I was just getting ready to have a little snack break. We have Doritos. We also have…” He opened the fridge, scowling. “Um, some sort of moldy cheese and half of a beer. But we really do have Doritos.”
“I could go for a drink, actually. I’m not really a fan of beer, though.”
Jake looked over, surprised. “Really? Thought you weren’t much of a drinker.”
She shrugged, slowly tracing the outline of her pack of cigarettes in her jeans pocket. “Sort of turning over a new leaf these days.”
He nodded, even though he wasn’t sure he understood. “Well, lucky for you, I know where my dad keeps the scotch.”
Sam whistled. “Damn, scotch, huh? Guess he’s a drinker.”
“He’s a pain in my ass.”
Sam seemed to sense that Jack Austin was not one of his favorite topics and decided not to press it. After he came back with the bottle, she took a small sip and made a face before speaking. “So, your better half is out?”
“Theo? Yeah, he’s uh… on a date.”
“Really? What’s she like?”
“A soul sucking hell bitch.”
“Wow, say what you really think, Jake,” she said with a grin, taking another sip. “You’re not having any? Come on, it’s just plain sad to be drinking alone.”
“Dunno, Sam,” he teased. “Have all this homework to finish.”
“Screw homework.”
“See, I would but, be kinda hard to. Besides, seems kinda unfair to the poor homework.”
She giggled, shutting his textbook and poured him a glass. “Drink up.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
Sam watched him take a sip, biting her lip as she watched his leave the glass. “So, your dad’s…”
“Working,” he answered. “He usually gets home later or… you know, stays at the base.”
“Lucky you. So, what is a stud like you doing dateless on a Friday night, anyway?”
“Could ask you the same question.”
Sam smiled. “Finally! I am so glad you said that.”
“You are?”
Sam stood up to get some ice for her glass, pointing to the fridge and getting a nod from Jake. “I really am,” she said, popping some ice in her glass and reaching over the table for his. “I mean, nobody’s really given me permission to move on.”
“You shouldn’t need anyone’s permission.” He took his glass from her, ignoring the way that her thumb brushed his hand for a second too long, or the way her eyes seemed to lock onto his, brown on brown, a new sort of sensation that was nothing like staring into a certain someone’s ocean blue. “I mean, if you think you should move on, you should,” he said quickly, hoping to fill the silence.
Sam nodded, sitting her glass down slowly. “I’m glad you said that too,” she said softly, leaning down and capturing his lips.
Jake cupped her face, not even blinking as Sam’s tongue pushed past his lips. It was a reflex now, kissing. Something that was quickly becoming meaningless, just one simple step that lead to getting what he wanted. But what he wanted was turning out to become meaningless too, but it was numbing, normal and safe. There was no risk, no option of getting hurt. Sam’s tongue met his slowly, hesitantly, but the slow, gentle sensation caused his eyes to snap open. Was he really kissing Sam?
He pulled away as gracefully as he could, praying he sounded calmer than he felt. “Sam, what was…”
“Should think you of all people should know what that was, Jake,” she said calmly.
“Sam, you don’t want to…”
“I don’t?” she asked innocently, pressing her lips against his jaw. “I’m a big girl, Jake. Think I know what I want.”
He bit his lip, willing himself to stay still, stay quiet. “Sam,” he tried again.
“I’ve seen you, Jake. And I’ve seen you see me. So what’s the problem?”
He gulped, suddenly feeling very guilty for looking down her tank top at the movies that one time. “You don’t want me,” he said as firmly as he could.
“You don’t know that,” she said coyly, sucking on his earlobe.
“Yes, I do,” he said, fighting back a moan. “We both know what you want, who you want and it’s not me.”
Sam’s lips left his earlobe as quickly as they had came. She backed up to face him, putting her hands on her hips. “Oh great, not you too. You just told me to move on!”
“If you think that’s best. Keyword being you. I don’t think you should.”
Sam rolled her eyes, pulling out her carton and lighting a cigarette, standing near the open kitchen window. “I don’t seem to remember asking for your opinion,” she snapped.
“Sam,” he said softly. “I’m just saying that I think you should…”
She took a long drag on her cigarette before cutting him off. “What, go back to Aaron!? Take him back after he… no thank you.”
“Maybe you two could work it out.”
“Oh, right, we’ll go on Dr. Phil and use feeling words and everything will be great,” she said dryly.
“Well, sometimes if you get someone to talk after…”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about, Jake. Stop trying to help me.”
“Then help me understand it.”
She shook her head., watching the smoke curl and drift out the window. “You can’t, because you have no idea what it’s like. You have no idea what it’s like to be part of something that everyone knows you for. I’m not Sam, I was never Sam. I was Sam of Sam and Aaron. God, forbid anyone ever leave that out. We were our own little club and everybody knew that membership was limited. And I didn’t care! I never cared that nobody else ever tried to join in! Because everyone else didn’t matter if I had Aaron and now what do I have?”
Jake shook his head. “You’re more than Aaron’s girlfriend and you know it.”
“It’s more than that, Jake. You don’t know what it’s like to grow up with someone and even then, even when you’re too little to understand what loving them really means, you do anyway. You have no idea what it’s like to wait your whole life for that one day where they finally see the light and just fucking notice you. It’s… they’re all you want, and all you think about, no matter how hard you try to push them out. You'll always want one more taste, even if you can't have it.”
The words echoed off the pale green walls of the kitchen and Sam suddenly stamped out her cigarette, disgusted. Now she knew why she had been going through them like they were candy. They tasted like him. Sure, she’d joke about it being like kissing an ash tray, but there was something there, something more addictive than nicotine that they just couldn’t supply. “How did I get so fucked up?” she whispered, her voice cracking as she turned around.
Jake stood up, letting her fall into his arms and stroking her hair as she started to cry. “Shhh, you’re not, I promise. We all get scared. We’re weak, sometimes we can’t help it,” he said softly.
“But I tried to…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Think your virtue is still in tact here.”
“I wanted him to be the only boy I’ve ever kissed,” she whispered.
Jake tilted her head up sliding his finger under her chin and wiping her tears away. “Hey, you and Aaron? You waited for each other, do you have any idea how… It was special and you wouldn’t trade it for anything, right?”
Sam nodded, biting her lip.
“Then that’s all that matters.”
They stood there until Sam’s sobs stopped and the shoulder of Jake’s tee shirt was thoroughly soaked. “I’m sorry, Jake. I…for being such a mess and…”
He smiled a little, holding up a hand to cut her off. “We all have our moments, trust me. And, for what it’s worth, I get it. I get almost everything you said. It sucks when the people closest to you don’t even see you.”
Sam’s eyes widened and he knew that she’d figured it out, but for some reason, just like the Jack thing, she didn’t press it. He liked that.
“Well, I should..”
“Stay,” he said. “Don’t think you’re cured yet.”
She looked up. “I’m not?”
He shook his head, sliding an arm around her. “Nope, this is something only Spiderman and Doritos can cure.”
“Oooh, James!” Sam said happily. “I love him.”.
Jake shook his head. She was gonna be just fine.