A Sobering Realization
Title: A Sobering Realization
Fandom:RPF
Characters/Pairings:Jared Padalecki, Chad Michael Murray and Jensen Ackles, implied Jared Padalecki/Zooey Deschanel
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer:Don't own them, never happened. But oh how I wish it were all true.
The end credits for Eulogy rolled, and Jared blinked, dumbfounded.
“Dude, are you okay?” Jensen asked, snatching the last of the popcorn away from Chad.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “I just…don’t get it.”
Chad laughed, before answering him in a tone usually reserved for small children or village idiots. “Well you see, Jare, Zooey’s grandpop died, and it turns out that he was a big pimp who-”
“Oh it figures you would call him a pimp, Chad Michael Murray, manwhore of Los Angeles,” Jen cut in with a snort.
“Hey Angelina, why don’t you go get more collagen?” Chad cleared his throat before turning his attention back to Jared. “Anyway, so Zooey had to write the a eulogy for him. Now a eulogy is a big fancy word for a speech you give when-”
“Shut the hell up, Chad,” Jared snapped. “I know what a freaking eulogy is okay? I even understood the movie, it was just…odd. That’s not what I don’t get.”
“Oh, you’re talking about the lesbians, huh? I know man, what was up with that? They weren’t even hot! Well, unless you count the one from X-Men.”
Jared sighed, looking over at Jensen. “Why do I even bother?”
“You’re asking me? I wonder the same thing every day.”
Chad rolled his eyes, snatching his popcorn back from Jensen. “Alright, alright, so you’re having a deep Sammy moment. What the-”
Jensen cut in. “Hey, only I can call him that.”
He ignored him, continuing: “What’s the big deal?”
“I don’t know, man. It’s just…all Zooey’s films are so witty, and dry and cool. She's like an indie queen everyone just knows me as that guy who was an asshole to Rory Gilmore.”
“And that guy who does crappy horror movies like Cry Wolf and House of Wax,” Jensen offered, not very helpfully.
Chad glared at him, narrowing his eyes. “House of Wax was not crappy,” he said firmly.
“Oh no, it was great while Jare was still in the game. But then when it got to just you and Elisha it was just pure…actually, Elisha wasn’t half bad. Must’ve been you.”
“Elisha never knew how to shut the hell up,” Chad grumbled. “And do I even need to get started on you, Devour boy?!”
“Hey, Devour was a fine piece of cinema!”
“You made out with your mom,” Chad said dryly.
“You’re gonna give me a lecture on right and wrong!? Besides, Jared’s having a small mental breakdown, shouldn’t we focus on him?”
“M’not having a mental breakdown,” Jared said petulantly. “Just realizing my girlfriend is way cooler than me.”
Jensen smiled a little, clapping him on the shoulder. “Way of the world, buddy, but you know what?”
He looked up. “What?”
“I kinda think she loves you anyway.”
Jared smiled, Chad right along with him.
“God that was sweet, Jensen,” he said sweetly. “So when are you and Jared gonna finally come out? Because I wanna see how much she loves him then, personally.”
Jared and Jensen looked at each other before tossing their pillows at Chad’s head.
“Just shut up and put Elf in,” Jared said, his smile widening as he felt his worries drifting away. “Think we've finally found a Zooey movie I can wrap my head around.”
Fandom:RPF
Characters/Pairings:Jared Padalecki, Chad Michael Murray and Jensen Ackles, implied Jared Padalecki/Zooey Deschanel
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer:Don't own them, never happened. But oh how I wish it were all true.
The end credits for Eulogy rolled, and Jared blinked, dumbfounded.
“Dude, are you okay?” Jensen asked, snatching the last of the popcorn away from Chad.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “I just…don’t get it.”
Chad laughed, before answering him in a tone usually reserved for small children or village idiots. “Well you see, Jare, Zooey’s grandpop died, and it turns out that he was a big pimp who-”
“Oh it figures you would call him a pimp, Chad Michael Murray, manwhore of Los Angeles,” Jen cut in with a snort.
“Hey Angelina, why don’t you go get more collagen?” Chad cleared his throat before turning his attention back to Jared. “Anyway, so Zooey had to write the a eulogy for him. Now a eulogy is a big fancy word for a speech you give when-”
“Shut the hell up, Chad,” Jared snapped. “I know what a freaking eulogy is okay? I even understood the movie, it was just…odd. That’s not what I don’t get.”
“Oh, you’re talking about the lesbians, huh? I know man, what was up with that? They weren’t even hot! Well, unless you count the one from X-Men.”
Jared sighed, looking over at Jensen. “Why do I even bother?”
“You’re asking me? I wonder the same thing every day.”
Chad rolled his eyes, snatching his popcorn back from Jensen. “Alright, alright, so you’re having a deep Sammy moment. What the-”
Jensen cut in. “Hey, only I can call him that.”
He ignored him, continuing: “What’s the big deal?”
“I don’t know, man. It’s just…all Zooey’s films are so witty, and dry and cool. She's like an indie queen everyone just knows me as that guy who was an asshole to Rory Gilmore.”
“And that guy who does crappy horror movies like Cry Wolf and House of Wax,” Jensen offered, not very helpfully.
Chad glared at him, narrowing his eyes. “House of Wax was not crappy,” he said firmly.
“Oh no, it was great while Jare was still in the game. But then when it got to just you and Elisha it was just pure…actually, Elisha wasn’t half bad. Must’ve been you.”
“Elisha never knew how to shut the hell up,” Chad grumbled. “And do I even need to get started on you, Devour boy?!”
“Hey, Devour was a fine piece of cinema!”
“You made out with your mom,” Chad said dryly.
“You’re gonna give me a lecture on right and wrong!? Besides, Jared’s having a small mental breakdown, shouldn’t we focus on him?”
“M’not having a mental breakdown,” Jared said petulantly. “Just realizing my girlfriend is way cooler than me.”
Jensen smiled a little, clapping him on the shoulder. “Way of the world, buddy, but you know what?”
He looked up. “What?”
“I kinda think she loves you anyway.”
Jared smiled, Chad right along with him.
“God that was sweet, Jensen,” he said sweetly. “So when are you and Jared gonna finally come out? Because I wanna see how much she loves him then, personally.”
Jared and Jensen looked at each other before tossing their pillows at Chad’s head.
“Just shut up and put Elf in,” Jared said, his smile widening as he felt his worries drifting away. “Think we've finally found a Zooey movie I can wrap my head around.”