fic: signal fire (kara/lee) chapter 11
Title: Signal Fire
Rating: PG/PG-13 For some strong language and adult themes.
Spoilers: All Seasons, All Episodes.
Status: Complete (Prologue+11 Chapters+ Epilogue)
Summary: Kara and Lee get one last chance to be together. Begins the moment after Daybreak II, on the hill where Kara didn’t say goodbye.
Special thanks to my sister, placeofthunder, who I've decided is better than any beta.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing.
Previously:
Prologue, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten
Chapter 11
Kara took her sidearm at the ready and hiked back to Galactica, snuck onto what was left of her and used the last of the hot water to take the longest shower of her life. It was a long way to go to get warm and clean but it felt worth it. She even thought she might have dozed off for a little while as the steaming water sluiced over her skin, calming her nerves and washing away the last of the cold and the battle.
She collected some clean clothes from her locker, left the rest. In the end she walked off Galactica with only the clothes on her back and the dog tags around her neck.
When she reached the tent it was dark inside, nobody home. She entered and stumbled around a bit until she found a lantern to light. The tent lit with a warm amber glow and she looked around. There was a cot, some odds and ends, a stack of books, some upturned buckets as if for seating. Not much.
Her stuff was all there, literally just where she’d left it. Undisturbed. He would have seen it everyday, a constant reminder. Not forgotten. She felt the unexplainable urge to weep.
She knelt down before her bags, sifting through her things. Her clothes were wet again from the walk from Galactica, undoing all the warmth she’d walked so far to enjoy to begin with.
She muttered to herself about her own stupidity and the frakking rain while she stripped down completely and donned another shirt and pants, zipped up her sweatshirt over the top of it. She left her wet clothes and boots in a pile on the bottom of one of the buckets and pulled on some more socks and shoes since the ground felt a little damp and cool despite the shelter.
She threw a look over her shoulder as she did so. There was some fruit laid out on a rough-hewn table that looked as if Lee might actually have tried his hand at furniture making. Her lips pulled into a completely amused smile just thinking about it. She helped herself to some sort of mango and sat down on the cot to wait without realizing it.
She didn’t have to wait very long. There was the slosh of footsteps and the rustle of canvas before Lee’s head and shoulders appeared. He ducked inside and pulled to a stop at the sight of her.
She took another bite out of her fruit, struggling for normalcy.
“Kara.”
He seemed surprised to find her there. The light was on, who had he expected?
“Hi, Lee,” she frowned playfully, “Remember me?”
His posture thawed a little at her teasing, he shook his head, exasperated and frowning a little as if it were the most ridiculous of questions. He walked a little further into the tent rubbing at his damp hair.
“I just…didn’t know where you’d-“
“Where were you during the inquisition?” Kara cut him off, not ready yet to talk about the heavy stuff.
His eyebrow lifted but he went along with the change of subject, “Did Lampkin and the others give you a hard time?” He was making a growing puddle on the ground where he stood. He didn’t seem to notice.
Kara shrugged. It had been nothing, really. There was very little she couldn’t endure at this point.
He answered her original question, “He had me taking stock of every part of those ships that we can strip and put to use immediately. Survival is a demanding mistress these days,” he stuck his hands in his wet pockets, a rather nervous gesture.
“He especially wanted me to look at Galactica since I’m most familiar with her…you know, the old bucket looks just as bad as she did the last time if not worse, “ he smiled a tiny bit, “What did you do to her?”
“Took her for a hell of a joy ride,” she deadpanned, taking another bite. She leaned back on her free hand and tilted her head to watch him.
He turned to look behind him, towards the tent’s opening, “It’s turning into a celebration out there.”
She nodded a little, “I can hear that.”
When he looked back at her it was with one of those searching looks she had a hard time not responding to, “And yet here you are…”
She shrugged again, feeling unsure. She’d lost her footing; wasn’t sure she knew how to talk to this Lee now.
She glanced around the tent, searching for something else to stall with.
“So. I really like what you’ve done with the place, Lee.”
He pulled a face, following her gaze, “Yeah, what do you like most? The dirt floor or the new kitchen I just put in?”
She snorted, turning to him, “Kitchen?”
He nodded in the direction of an upturned bucket with a paring knife laid over the top. She reached up a hand to push at the strands of her hair. She’d pulled it back, but renegade wisps had escaped in rebellion.
She pretended to consider his question. “In that case, I think I’m going to have to go with option c: the dining room table. Very rustic, Lee,” she frowned, overly serious, “Some of your best work.”
Lee raised a cynical brow, self de-appreciating humor written all over him, “The saddest part, Kara, is that that was my third try.”
She ducked her head and smiled to herself.
She ate another bite, “You’ve become some sort of mountain man recluse, Lee. Should I be worried I’ll be kicked out for your pet Grizzly?”
He stilled for a moment at her words, then smirked, crossing his arms, “No, I don’t think so. You smell a little better.”
Kara gave him a withering look, “Gee, thanks.”
They shared a companionable silence for a moment while she finished her fruit.
Lee broke the silence first, glancing to the side of the tent, “I kept all your things.”
Kara took a deep breath, feeling the shift in mood, “I saw that…” The words came out sounding hopeful, even needy, to Kara. Lee didn’t seem to notice.
He looked back at her, pinning her with his intensity, “Where have you been, Kara?”
She swallowed, felt like fidgeting, “Oh, you know. Fulfilling the last of my destiny, I suppose.” She hadn’t mean to be flippant but her nerves got the best of her.
Lee ignored the flippancy, focused on her words instead, “And how do you know it’s the last of it, Kara?” The words came sad, a desperate, weary edge to them.
Kara wasn’t sure but she did.
“I know.”
Lee shook his head, turned to look away, pressing his lips together for a moment. He ran a hand over the back of his neck.
“So…you brought the last of us home.”
She nodded, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. She blinked rapidly.
“You brought yourself home, too,” his eyes fell on her, roving over every line and curve. It felt like love.
She nodded again but this time a lone tear got the best of her. She swiped at it impatiently.
He took a step towards her. She waited.
“Sam is alive; Dee…”
It was a question.
“And yet… here we are,” Kara turned his earlier words back around on him; her eyes pleaded and there was nothing she could do to stop herself.
His expression tightened a bit, crumpling, “You were gone, Kara…”
“I know.” Softly.
“I can’t keep going through this…”
“I know.” Softer.
Kara stood slowly, crossing to where he stood. He watched her, thoroughly engrossed in her. In the heavy silence, the white noise of the rain hitting the canvas closed them in, sealing them off from the rest of the world.
She came to a stop inches from him, shifting on her feet and facing him down. Their eyes locked and the sound of their breathing came loudly as they stood that way for several minutes, trembling.
“Stay,” Lee finally whispered brokenly.
Where else would she go?
Kara kept her eyes on his as she raised her hands and fumbled with the buttons of his jacket. His breathing came faster but if anything he looked more uncertain than ever. He just stared at her with that look of a man lost in a dream, waiting to awaken. Afraid that it wasn’t real.
Kara slowly pealed away the heavy, wet fabric, her fingertips gliding over the smooth heat of his skin beneath. He was real, and at the moment, that was all that mattered to her.
She raised hazel eyes to his from time to time. He was still watching her intently.
His jacket hit the ground with a damp slap that neither of them noticed. Too focused on one another.
She unzipped her sweatshirt and tackled her shirt next, her fingers trembling as she grabbed the hem. He finally made a move, helped her pull up and out of it. His warm fingers barely brushed her skin as if he were afraid to touch her and find she wasn’t even there.
She took the shirt from him and tossed the wad of it aside with a careless motion.
She needed him to know. This was her. Kara. And she was so in love with him it would blow his frakkin’ mind if he knew.
Determined now, Kara grabbed him by the sides and pulled him closer, yanking his tank out of the waistband of his pants. She quickly repeated the action with her own tank and glanced up again.
Something more flickered in his eyes now. Whatever it was, the heat of it threatened to burn her.
“Kara?” Hesitant, hopeful. His hands came up to cradle her face.
She reached out and grabbed his waist, pulling him forward while walking backwards. When the back of her knees hit the cot, she sank gratefully onto it, his hands fell away. He stood looking down at her for a second then slowly lowered himself right beside her. His thigh pressed all along hers, as they sat side by side.
Kara leaned down to remove her boots and toss them aside impatiently. She turned to look up at him, he was still watching her silently, but his eyes were slowly losing that lost look. His body swayed towards her.
The feel of his fingertips brushing away strands of hair at the back of her neck startled her. She held still as he pressed his warm, open mouth to her exposed nape. She shivered, but this time not from the cold. It was not so much a kiss as a connection, a need to be touching her.
With renewed determination, she wrestled with his boots next and then stripped out of her pants and down to her underwear. She leaned back on an elbow, pulling her legs up over the side and watching him. Please.
Lee stripped down as well and then turned to slowly reach out a hand, wrapping it around her ankle as he crawled up the length of her body. His palm felt hot against her chilled skin. His hand fell on the side of her knee, her hip, her waist. Finally it fell on her face to frame her jaw. He broke the silence, whispering raggedly.
“Kara.”
She stared at the beauty of his familiar face and wanted to tell him. Tell him how she felt, what had happened. What he meant to her. She couldn’t find the words. She was terrible with words.
She reached up and grabbed him by the back of his neck, lifted her head and closed her eyes.
Her lips brushed against his, catching just a little from time to time. She nipped at his lower lip until he opened his mouth over her own. Their breath mingled while their mouths hovered, then she turned her head to seal his mouth with hers.
He returned the kiss deeply, moved away, came in again fiercer than ever. Her head fell back to the bed with the strength of his kiss; she in turn grew more forceful, pushing him away with the force of hers. Their mouths slid over each other with increasing intensity, breath coming sharply through their noses. His hands found hers, pulled them up and clasped them on either side of her head. She felt like crying. She couldn’t get close enough.
Kara suddenly tasted the salty tang of her tears and pulled away, biting her lip, feeling angry with herself; unsure, vulnerable. She opened her eyes and was surprised to see his own eyes glistening.
She shut them again, felt the tears slip free from beneath her lids. His head dipped to hers again, kissing them away before his mouth slid hotly on her own once more, seeking the perfect fit. It didn’t take them long to find it.
She unclasped her fingers from his own, reaching out to sink them into the soft strands of his hair at the back of his head. She gave a little pull and he countered by freeing her other hand as well, reaching down to slide her tank up, hands skimming her sides. He pulled it over her head in one smooth motion and it disappeared somewhere over their heads. He began lowering his body to completely cover her own. He was heavy, anchoring her to this place and this life.
Kara felt an answering hitch in her chest; feeling so close. Perfect.
She ran her hands over the heated surface of his skin; over his shoulders then down until she could dig her fingers into his biceps and the corded muscle there.
Lee began raining kisses across her face, throat, collarbone, lower, then lower still. Taking the time to appreciate her in a way she’d hadn’t allowed anyone for a very long time. A part of her wanted to return the favor until he couldn’t take it anymore. But when he stripped them of the last of their clothing, the more demanding part of her couldn’t wait any longer. She wrapped her legs around his waist, insistent. He dropped his head into her shoulder heavily.
After that, neither of them spoke of anything save each other’s names for a very long time.
__________________________________________
In the moment between deep sleep and awareness, Kara had the sudden fear that she would waken to find herself somewhere else, or gods’ forbid-in that cockpit again. But when her eyelids fluttered open, the rain had picked up and it was darker than before. She looked down, at some point Lee had wrapped a blanket around them both. She fingered it’s weave, the softness.
Kara could tell by the rhythm of his breathing that he was not asleep, she shifted and stretched, turning into him. So warm.
He was quiet a moment more, then, “You’re still here.” His hand came up to frame her face. Her skin felt flushed.
“So are you,” she felt the corner of her full lips pull into a smile; her voice was husky with sleep and contentment.
His hand slid down, caressing until his open palm spanned over her collarbone. He stilled; she waited.
“How many times do I have to lose you?” his bleak expression made her chest hurt.
His hand fell away as she turned away and lay on her back. She was quiet for several moments, raising an arm to throw above her head and playing absently with the ends of her hair.
She understood now. What it was to lose him, how it felt. That look in his eyes right now…she understood.
She turned her head on the cot to face him, “Maybe….maybe that’s not the point, Lee.”
His jaw clenched, “Then what is the point, Kara?”
Marching tiredly down a hall on the Astral Queen, returning from Caprica with an arrow strapped to her back. Turning at the entrance of an open area, seeing him standing there, waiting. A smile she hadn’t even known she was capable of pulling at her lips. What were the odds of finding just this ship, in just this spot? His arms reached out to greet her, pulled her close and embraced her.
Now she was running down the length of her bunkroom on Galactica, wrapping her arms around his neck. Look at what she’d done, how she’d saved them all on Caprica. She’d returned to rescue all the survivors and lived to tell the tale. Miraculous. “Hi,” she whispered. “Welcome back, “ he whispered in return.
Weaving in the ring, working out the demons of New Caprica. She’d found her way back to Galactica but not to her life. She felt nothing, had nothing. So she welcomed the pain. A well-thrown punch, an aching jaw. A cry for help. He gave her a reason to fight. And then his arms were around her, she pushed him away, she pulled him close. He gave her a reason to live. He held her up as they swayed in the ring, like a dance. She had found her way back.
Stepping off the ladder out onto that hangar deck. Chief didn’t have a post-flight checklist for her. Two months had passed, her ship’s clock read six hours and change. She’d just flown back from a planet no one had mapped or even heard of, straight to the Nebula where the fleet awaited. Impossible. Yet here she was. They were all staring. She was alone in the middle of the crowd. Then he was there, the first person she’d seen upon her return. He’d promised not to lose her. He picked her up and wrapped her in acceptance.
Shutting her eyes on New Earth, only to find herself in the cockpit again. Returning to the moment before death. His voice was there to greet her, to tell her to pull up.
Too much confusion, why was she here? What was she supposed to do now? Then he was there, holding her secure, keeping her grounded. As always. As ever. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
But he hadn’t. He never did.
“That…I always come back to you.” The words flowed out of her. She wasn’t afraid to say them anymore.
Something passed between them as they looked at each other in the ensuing silence, and then, slowly, she could see that a part of him understood, accepted that.
He shifted her closer, pulling her into his body again and cradling her there with his arm. She hooked a leg over one of his, placed a hand over his chest where his heart lay, just for the pleasure of feeling it beat there. His hand rested on her bare shoulder, caressing softly. His lashes brushed her cheekbone as he rested his head with hers, their hair mingling. He smelled of rainwater, coffee, antiseptic soap; he smelled like coming home.
His whisper finally broke the heavy silence, “I still…I just need to hold you.”
She gratefully shut her weary eyes, “I know.”
She was home.
Epilogue