curls and summer wishes
dear friends,
first and foremost, i apologise muchly for not being able to comment on your lovely journals! i have been swamped over the past week, inundated with 'bouts of shopping, paperwork and too little time for absolutely anything. i am exhausted and should catch some sleeeeeeeeeep and huggles from my boyfriend. poor dear is sick, and is currently stuck in bed. aw!
okay so last week i went shopping, i shouldn't have. i can't even remember what day i went. i think it was a...seriously can't remember. i bought this super cute black one-piece swimsuit!!
i love it so much!!
and i curled up and about my hair extensions! took foreeeeveeer, but so worth it! i love my hair extensions so much, i could sleep in them but that would ruin the curls so maybe not!
i just went downstairs for some water and my mum starts complaining about my hair, my shoes in my bedroom, everything-freaking-everything. i am so sick of her sometimes. she treats me as if i am just a child, and it's starting to get on my nerves. like she'd say, "eat your vegetables, you're not eating your vegetables...eat your vegetables..." at the dinner table when we're eating communally or like, "take your laundry downstairs, why haven't you taken them downstairs yet?", and it's like I KNOOOOOW, i have to sort things out like put my jeans in their place, in the wardrobe before i run down to dump the old clothes in the laundry basket, it's not like i forget.
secondly, she intrudes in my relationship with my boyfriend. i don't think she intentionally means to do it, she just cares and over-analyses everything. i'm too open for my own good sometimes and i tell her things sometimes, about what i am worried about or what i am thinking of, and i need to stop it. right now. last week i told her my boyfriend was being distant. we discussed a few assumptions why that may have been the case (without prior communication with the individual in question as yet) and she started telling me he wanted to leave me, and then i freak out and i have to call him up to 'talk' it through otherwise i can't sleep. i hate conflict and i hate unresolved or pressing issues on my mind.
boyfriend and i are good, but sometimes i still get a little footsy about it. i feel like anything can just, fall apart. there's nothing concrete at this stage to indicate a falling out, or separation at this stage. i know it's something i have to deal with on my own; this awful fear. sometimes i feel like if i do something wrong, or act in some way, he'd want to leave me. to be honest, i don't really know how to deal with it. he's not a spontaneous person or someone who would just dump someone with the click of his fingers, and he's really quite, fair and generous and ready to communicate and he's the best thing to have happened to me this year yet i feel insecure because i'm fearful of losing him to something, to anything that is out of my control, out of my reach. and i can't cling onto him like leech, and i'm starting to give him space to breathe which is important to him and i do i do i do want him to be happy and free.
i like you, herbert! ♥
first and foremost, i apologise muchly for not being able to comment on your lovely journals! i have been swamped over the past week, inundated with 'bouts of shopping, paperwork and too little time for absolutely anything. i am exhausted and should catch some sleeeeeeeeeep and huggles from my boyfriend. poor dear is sick, and is currently stuck in bed. aw!
okay so last week i went shopping, i shouldn't have. i can't even remember what day i went. i think it was a...seriously can't remember. i bought this super cute black one-piece swimsuit!!
i love it so much!!
and i curled up and about my hair extensions! took foreeeeveeer, but so worth it! i love my hair extensions so much, i could sleep in them but that would ruin the curls so maybe not!
i just went downstairs for some water and my mum starts complaining about my hair, my shoes in my bedroom, everything-freaking-everything. i am so sick of her sometimes. she treats me as if i am just a child, and it's starting to get on my nerves. like she'd say, "eat your vegetables, you're not eating your vegetables...eat your vegetables..." at the dinner table when we're eating communally or like, "take your laundry downstairs, why haven't you taken them downstairs yet?", and it's like I KNOOOOOW, i have to sort things out like put my jeans in their place, in the wardrobe before i run down to dump the old clothes in the laundry basket, it's not like i forget.
secondly, she intrudes in my relationship with my boyfriend. i don't think she intentionally means to do it, she just cares and over-analyses everything. i'm too open for my own good sometimes and i tell her things sometimes, about what i am worried about or what i am thinking of, and i need to stop it. right now. last week i told her my boyfriend was being distant. we discussed a few assumptions why that may have been the case (without prior communication with the individual in question as yet) and she started telling me he wanted to leave me, and then i freak out and i have to call him up to 'talk' it through otherwise i can't sleep. i hate conflict and i hate unresolved or pressing issues on my mind.
boyfriend and i are good, but sometimes i still get a little footsy about it. i feel like anything can just, fall apart. there's nothing concrete at this stage to indicate a falling out, or separation at this stage. i know it's something i have to deal with on my own; this awful fear. sometimes i feel like if i do something wrong, or act in some way, he'd want to leave me. to be honest, i don't really know how to deal with it. he's not a spontaneous person or someone who would just dump someone with the click of his fingers, and he's really quite, fair and generous and ready to communicate and he's the best thing to have happened to me this year yet i feel insecure because i'm fearful of losing him to something, to anything that is out of my control, out of my reach. and i can't cling onto him like leech, and i'm starting to give him space to breathe which is important to him and i do i do i do want him to be happy and free.
i like you, herbert! ♥