Utter Lack of Motivation
You know, I don't remember Provincials being this hard to study for back in Grade 10. And I aced those, I'm pretty sure.
I think I've just kind of... ceased to even CARE by this point. I mean, I know they matter so so much considering my borderline-ness, but I'm so freaking close to just giving up. The weather's been spastically beautiful these past few weeks, (y'know, barring that freak thunderstorm yesterday, but that was beautiful too, in its own way-), and it's killing what will I ever had to study. There's not enough time to study, but I can't WAIT for the next two days to be over. Grad, too, actually. DIE, STRESS, DIE.
You know how teens are all supposedly of the mindset that they're invincible? I think this is how it manifests itself in me. Based on my first, say, 15/16/17 years of always being able to dredge up good marks, I think that I'll naturally do better than I expect. I think that I'll always be able to procrastinate and still get my A's. I've been thinking that somehow, I'll always pull through, so there's no need to try as hard as I once did. I think that's how I've been thinking all through senior year. No wonder I've got no motivation.
I used to try so hard. That was way back when, when it didn't matter. Now, when it does matter, I've gotten tired of trying so hard for so long, of being constantly sleep deprived, and of never having enough time for myself
[---CUTT. I think the words came out all wrong, but I'm not going to rewrite it, because this is all kind of too pathetic. I'm not even emo, GAH, I just want my summer so badly.]
French didn't use to be this hard. There used to be seven tenses that I knew how to use at the drop of a hat. Now there're 19, and I still only know how to use those 7. This is a most lovely state of affairs.
Oh, and I've given up on Chem, even though it comes before French. I'm not even using it, I'm pretty sure. I was always better at Math, anyway. I'll rewrite it, if I really need to, but for now-- screw it.
I think I've just kind of... ceased to even CARE by this point. I mean, I know they matter so so much considering my borderline-ness, but I'm so freaking close to just giving up. The weather's been spastically beautiful these past few weeks, (y'know, barring that freak thunderstorm yesterday, but that was beautiful too, in its own way-), and it's killing what will I ever had to study. There's not enough time to study, but I can't WAIT for the next two days to be over. Grad, too, actually. DIE, STRESS, DIE.
You know how teens are all supposedly of the mindset that they're invincible? I think this is how it manifests itself in me. Based on my first, say, 15/16/17 years of always being able to dredge up good marks, I think that I'll naturally do better than I expect. I think that I'll always be able to procrastinate and still get my A's. I've been thinking that somehow, I'll always pull through, so there's no need to try as hard as I once did. I think that's how I've been thinking all through senior year. No wonder I've got no motivation.
I used to try so hard. That was way back when, when it didn't matter. Now, when it does matter, I've gotten tired of trying so hard for so long, of being constantly sleep deprived, and of never having enough time for myself
[---CUTT. I think the words came out all wrong, but I'm not going to rewrite it, because this is all kind of too pathetic. I'm not even emo, GAH, I just want my summer so badly.]
French didn't use to be this hard. There used to be seven tenses that I knew how to use at the drop of a hat. Now there're 19, and I still only know how to use those 7. This is a most lovely state of affairs.
Oh, and I've given up on Chem, even though it comes before French. I'm not even using it, I'm pretty sure. I was always better at Math, anyway. I'll rewrite it, if I really need to, but for now-- screw it.