What do I love to do?
I've been reading many blog posts and articles about going for what you love to do, being self-confident, and how failures will only make you stronger if you keep striving. It comes at a time when I have to do a lot of thinking about what I want to do next in my career. I was told to include only work that I want to do in my portfolio, but the sad thing is, there isn't much that I've done in the past few years that I can say I really love. Should this be a wake-up call?
I KNOW what needs to be included in my portfolio to nab a good job that pays decently/well. But, do I want to be doing that stuff for another 5 years? If I choose to really go for what I love instead, it will be starting from scratch again. I understand the whole "chase your dreams and go with what you're passionate about" and it being all rosy and deserving of respect. But the other side of me can't let go of the pride and desire of having a stable job with a good position/company/pay.
I asked myself, if I did not have to worry about money, pride, expectations and priorities, what would I like to do as a job? I couldn't answer it at first, but one answer that made me smile was that I'd be pretty content if I could run my own shop filled with greeting cards, stationary and toys that I've designed, including other designers' works which I personally admire.
Of course, most articles' bottom line is: do what you love now or you will regret when you're old and cranky. I definitely do not want to wallow in regret; it's the worst feeling. That should be the answer to my dilemma, but am I ready? I can't say that I have the utmost confidence in my abilities at the moment. I went through a few rough patches recently that battered me a little. I've also gotten into a habit of comparing myself with others and feeling incompetent. I always ask, "Would I be able to achieve that too?" and have doubts flood in.
In a way, I really dislike design for its subjective nature. Someone could drool over a design piece and claim it to be out of this world, and someone else could call the same piece a piece of crap. I sometimes envy the jobs where there are right and wrong answers, and your ability to generate the correct answer is a clear indication of whether you're adept at your job. With design, you just never know, and all you have is to just believe in yourself. Perhaps that's the beauty of it. It's the sheer joy you get when your work generates good feelings in someone, enough that they can say they love it. And you just have to remember those moments in order to battle all the other times that someone does not admire your work and doubts your abilities.
Hopefully I find a balance between something I love to do with something that gives me good stability. In the meantime, I will keep searching within myself and push forward for the sake of a happier, more confident me in the future.
I KNOW what needs to be included in my portfolio to nab a good job that pays decently/well. But, do I want to be doing that stuff for another 5 years? If I choose to really go for what I love instead, it will be starting from scratch again. I understand the whole "chase your dreams and go with what you're passionate about" and it being all rosy and deserving of respect. But the other side of me can't let go of the pride and desire of having a stable job with a good position/company/pay.
I asked myself, if I did not have to worry about money, pride, expectations and priorities, what would I like to do as a job? I couldn't answer it at first, but one answer that made me smile was that I'd be pretty content if I could run my own shop filled with greeting cards, stationary and toys that I've designed, including other designers' works which I personally admire.
Of course, most articles' bottom line is: do what you love now or you will regret when you're old and cranky. I definitely do not want to wallow in regret; it's the worst feeling. That should be the answer to my dilemma, but am I ready? I can't say that I have the utmost confidence in my abilities at the moment. I went through a few rough patches recently that battered me a little. I've also gotten into a habit of comparing myself with others and feeling incompetent. I always ask, "Would I be able to achieve that too?" and have doubts flood in.
In a way, I really dislike design for its subjective nature. Someone could drool over a design piece and claim it to be out of this world, and someone else could call the same piece a piece of crap. I sometimes envy the jobs where there are right and wrong answers, and your ability to generate the correct answer is a clear indication of whether you're adept at your job. With design, you just never know, and all you have is to just believe in yourself. Perhaps that's the beauty of it. It's the sheer joy you get when your work generates good feelings in someone, enough that they can say they love it. And you just have to remember those moments in order to battle all the other times that someone does not admire your work and doubts your abilities.
Hopefully I find a balance between something I love to do with something that gives me good stability. In the meantime, I will keep searching within myself and push forward for the sake of a happier, more confident me in the future.