(no subject)
very strange thing happened. in the past several days something strange had been happening. it feels very different in some ways...the stupid fortune-telling turned out true? everyone knows i'm never the superstitious one. it's like my energy is starting to flow is a whole different direction, like a river changing its course for no apparent reason. i'm very easy to influence, everyone knows that. could it be the reading? or just the time is right? or am just messed up again?
there are two things i think about a lot these days: steam and stain.
Elaborating:
SMOKE
every day i have to walk to lectures to Hailey Institute--about 10 min walk from Cox (where i spend the majority of my time). the thing is about 20-30 meters from Hailey another building is located: i think the name's Harlow Institute. but i could be wrong. it's a veterinary building, i think i've been there before in grade 12, when we had a class trip to the AC with my biology class. that time there were a bunch of mice that were under some sort of an experiment, and we were told that after the experiment is over, they put the mice in a plastic chamber and turn on nerve gas, which kills the poor creatures instantaneously. this is done because they can't use those mice for research anymore, and they can't just keep animals they don't need. and there are just too many mice after each experiment, they can't possibly keep them all alive. i'm not sure if it was the Harlow building that we were in though, so don't quote me on that. and maybe the chamber was not plastic, but i think it must be. Last year Maryam told me that they burn dead animals there, and she really wanted to volunteer there because it's an amazing thing to have on your resume--she is applying to vet school, and it seems to be more competitive then the olympics:). anyhow. the point is--this building has a chimney--not a very long one. and, constantly there is white smoke coming out of it. i remember thinking that maybe it comes from burning the corpses of animals, or maybe it's by-products from heating the building, but i doubt it--the rest of the campus it heated electrically, as far as i know...and also i remember thinking that this might cause pollution, and how ironic this must be, because we have Environmental Sciences faculty and department, and the college is apparently "big" on sustainability. i'm going off on a tangent a lot. the point is--the smoke does not rise high, but moves pretty quickly across the sky, creating shadows on the ground--looks like a mass of clouds moving faster then naturally possible (except for maybe during a hurricane? i've never seen the sky during a hurricane...). and when i walk under it to get to Hailey to my lectures, these fake clouds always make me fall out of time. You've probably seen clips of that--when a day is filmed from beginning to an end, and then put on fast-forward...and the image moves incredibly fast, you are watching life in the "fast mode"...and i'm sure one of the things that contribute to this visual are the clouds that seem to move fast, and they are the ones that mostly create the feeling of "fast time"...this is exactly how i feel as i walk every day under the smoke cloud that creates the exact same illusion. and then i get confused with time, seeming to feel out of space as if one dimension had just disappeared... and i have to go through it every single day,except for the weekends! i've told Krista about it, and she was surprised, probably thought i was weird--she felt nothing of the sort. and not too long ago i've realized that the SMOKE is somehow connected to the STAIN.
Elaborating:
STAIN
our house has a fireplace, a real one, with a chimney. but at the same time it's decorative: it's not warming our house up, it's just built to be pretty and create "the atmosphere". several times mom left the chimney "opened" by mistake (the hole through which the smoke was supposed to come out of), and supposedly some moisture found its way in there. as a result some water form the rain got onto the ceiling, and a wet stain appeared. it grew more and more wet, and the while plaster started to chip off and fall down. we started being more careful with the chimney, and the stain stopped growing. i stare at it a lot. and i'm sure that it's somehow strangely connected to the smoke coming out of the Harlow building, that confuses the hell out of me by screwing up my time coordination. i still can't figure out how though...this sounds odd, i bet. i start suspecting that every little thing is probably connected to another weird little thing in some incomprehensible way. it's like a web of little things that composes my little world. and i'm so used to it that i don't notice it at all...it's like a tiny shelter made out of blocks so little i can't even see them, but together they compose a reliable structure...i'm wondering if it's like that for everyone or am i just going nuts:)
A NOTE FROM PHYSICS LECTURE
Professor Georgallas made us think: the nucleus of and atom is an incredibly tiny point of great (unbelievable) density and a great amount of internal pressure: analogy, i think, is the "white dwarfs"--dead stars that have the same characteristics as a nucleus of an atom (it's just how i imagine it). except they were alive at some point, before they died as stars: things were happening in them, and they probably once looked like our sun--radioactive, alive...but then they died. blew up, and condensed so much that it is impossible to imagine. and their dead form is what reminds me of nucleus of an atom. and electrons are millions of times smaller then the nucleus, they form electron cloud around it...it's complete and utter bullshit that they move in a set pattern like most books show it--orbitals don't exist in reality, except for in a hydrogen atom in very few cases, when nothing or almost nothing impacts it. in reality electrons look like a random diffuse cloud around the nucleus. this is bullshit as well. i have a feeling that textbooks are out to get me, telling me lies :) again, in reality the space around the nucleus that the electrons occupy is infinitely larger then the size of electrons themselves. so it's stupid to talk about any kind of a "cloud", because the "electron cloud" virtually has no density. interesting, everything is 99.99999999% composed out of vacuum. and there are protons--here and there. then how come if the wall is basically vacuum, and i am basically vacuum, i can't just walk through the wall? naturally, we are both empty 99.99999999% vacuum space. the secret are those tiny nuclei that give everything a substance. connected like a spring mattras by (electromagnetic?) forces. this almost makes me feel religious:)
DAshKA
there are two things i think about a lot these days: steam and stain.
Elaborating:
SMOKE
every day i have to walk to lectures to Hailey Institute--about 10 min walk from Cox (where i spend the majority of my time). the thing is about 20-30 meters from Hailey another building is located: i think the name's Harlow Institute. but i could be wrong. it's a veterinary building, i think i've been there before in grade 12, when we had a class trip to the AC with my biology class. that time there were a bunch of mice that were under some sort of an experiment, and we were told that after the experiment is over, they put the mice in a plastic chamber and turn on nerve gas, which kills the poor creatures instantaneously. this is done because they can't use those mice for research anymore, and they can't just keep animals they don't need. and there are just too many mice after each experiment, they can't possibly keep them all alive. i'm not sure if it was the Harlow building that we were in though, so don't quote me on that. and maybe the chamber was not plastic, but i think it must be. Last year Maryam told me that they burn dead animals there, and she really wanted to volunteer there because it's an amazing thing to have on your resume--she is applying to vet school, and it seems to be more competitive then the olympics:). anyhow. the point is--this building has a chimney--not a very long one. and, constantly there is white smoke coming out of it. i remember thinking that maybe it comes from burning the corpses of animals, or maybe it's by-products from heating the building, but i doubt it--the rest of the campus it heated electrically, as far as i know...and also i remember thinking that this might cause pollution, and how ironic this must be, because we have Environmental Sciences faculty and department, and the college is apparently "big" on sustainability. i'm going off on a tangent a lot. the point is--the smoke does not rise high, but moves pretty quickly across the sky, creating shadows on the ground--looks like a mass of clouds moving faster then naturally possible (except for maybe during a hurricane? i've never seen the sky during a hurricane...). and when i walk under it to get to Hailey to my lectures, these fake clouds always make me fall out of time. You've probably seen clips of that--when a day is filmed from beginning to an end, and then put on fast-forward...and the image moves incredibly fast, you are watching life in the "fast mode"...and i'm sure one of the things that contribute to this visual are the clouds that seem to move fast, and they are the ones that mostly create the feeling of "fast time"...this is exactly how i feel as i walk every day under the smoke cloud that creates the exact same illusion. and then i get confused with time, seeming to feel out of space as if one dimension had just disappeared... and i have to go through it every single day,except for the weekends! i've told Krista about it, and she was surprised, probably thought i was weird--she felt nothing of the sort. and not too long ago i've realized that the SMOKE is somehow connected to the STAIN.
Elaborating:
STAIN
our house has a fireplace, a real one, with a chimney. but at the same time it's decorative: it's not warming our house up, it's just built to be pretty and create "the atmosphere". several times mom left the chimney "opened" by mistake (the hole through which the smoke was supposed to come out of), and supposedly some moisture found its way in there. as a result some water form the rain got onto the ceiling, and a wet stain appeared. it grew more and more wet, and the while plaster started to chip off and fall down. we started being more careful with the chimney, and the stain stopped growing. i stare at it a lot. and i'm sure that it's somehow strangely connected to the smoke coming out of the Harlow building, that confuses the hell out of me by screwing up my time coordination. i still can't figure out how though...this sounds odd, i bet. i start suspecting that every little thing is probably connected to another weird little thing in some incomprehensible way. it's like a web of little things that composes my little world. and i'm so used to it that i don't notice it at all...it's like a tiny shelter made out of blocks so little i can't even see them, but together they compose a reliable structure...i'm wondering if it's like that for everyone or am i just going nuts:)
A NOTE FROM PHYSICS LECTURE
Professor Georgallas made us think: the nucleus of and atom is an incredibly tiny point of great (unbelievable) density and a great amount of internal pressure: analogy, i think, is the "white dwarfs"--dead stars that have the same characteristics as a nucleus of an atom (it's just how i imagine it). except they were alive at some point, before they died as stars: things were happening in them, and they probably once looked like our sun--radioactive, alive...but then they died. blew up, and condensed so much that it is impossible to imagine. and their dead form is what reminds me of nucleus of an atom. and electrons are millions of times smaller then the nucleus, they form electron cloud around it...it's complete and utter bullshit that they move in a set pattern like most books show it--orbitals don't exist in reality, except for in a hydrogen atom in very few cases, when nothing or almost nothing impacts it. in reality electrons look like a random diffuse cloud around the nucleus. this is bullshit as well. i have a feeling that textbooks are out to get me, telling me lies :) again, in reality the space around the nucleus that the electrons occupy is infinitely larger then the size of electrons themselves. so it's stupid to talk about any kind of a "cloud", because the "electron cloud" virtually has no density. interesting, everything is 99.99999999% composed out of vacuum. and there are protons--here and there. then how come if the wall is basically vacuum, and i am basically vacuum, i can't just walk through the wall? naturally, we are both empty 99.99999999% vacuum space. the secret are those tiny nuclei that give everything a substance. connected like a spring mattras by (electromagnetic?) forces. this almost makes me feel religious:)
DAshKA