When my body refuses to go and sleep...
...it probably means that there's a lot of things inside to release in words.
Yes it was 5am in the morning (and a few days ago) when I wrote this, and strangely it's the only time I get to actually reflect upon my current state of things. Work has engulfed me into this black hole/abyss which leaves me stressed+mati konkiao upon reaching home. I cannot put into words simply how much this new job has given me a total jump in terms of salary increment (and is helping me finance my own car), but has also brought about a lot of office politics/dealing with emotional boss and such - all in this short span of my 2nd job.
As some of you may say that the creative line is all about uncertain deadlines and such, but being lied to about the deadline is nothing short of funny.
Project K is our anchor project which has been going on since the beginning of April, and project is said to end on 27th May with 50 images. Every week since then our supposed target per week is 8 images (as brought up by me + my colleague FS with the boss present). Now if one were to do some simple math and calculate whether we can even achieve this target, one would come up with the figure of less than 40 images, and that was not including the modeller's and renderer's time before I get to work on the final output image.
That aside, so throughout the weeks I was made to search reference pictures/handle some other small projects, and all was fine.
We have OT-ed several days until 11pm for those weeks just to rush to his deadlines (which he will only tell us on Thursday despite requesting it throughout the week). Nevermind that, we grit our teeth and did our parts.
On my last week of probation (12th May being the last day of probation) I waited for him to call me into the office but nothing happened and he left early. That week on Tuesday he requested me to work on Project SV which finally had approval on the image, and that I needed to do up 3 images by Saturday. When I brought up the situation of not having enough time to meet the Project K targeted images while doing Project SV images (at that time Project K renders were having problems like fitting in incomplete models, etc), he said himself that he would take up 4 images to edit and I could work on the 3 images from Project SV + 2 Project K images = 5 images.
So I went in on Friday 15th and asked if I was a confirmed staff, and he said "Yes, don't worry you're a confirmed staff already :D" and when I asked when I could get my letter he said that it will be ready on Monday.
Monday there was no news, and he gave me another piece of work which left me too busy to even go in to ask about my letter.
Then came Tuesday, when he finally called me into his office.
And then he said he needed to extend my probation. D8.
Upon asking why, he goes to account that he missed the deadline, and that week we only produced 6 out of 8 images, 4 of which 'passed' his standard.
(Note : 8 images here is the accumulative of 2 weeks because the render machine was spoilt which halted the renders and 2nd last week of probation there was only 2 images that could be completed. On the last week there were only 6 renders complete)
Then I said "If you were not happy with the standard, you could've let me know and then I could've come in on Saturday to work on them."
Then he counters with "I didn't want to show you this earlier because I thought it would affect your emotions - all 16 images that were completed earlier had amendments from the client *browses very quickly through the folder of his to show me the amendments* And I've already edited 4 images for you"
I had to defend myself, so I said "That week you know that I had Project SV to handle, which you said you needed it by Friday and I completed it. If I didn't have that project I would've done those 4 images which you took up to do"
So I asked, "Are you not happy with my performance?" and he said "Yes I'm very happy with your performance, but because we missed the deadline that week I am extending your probation until end of this month."
Then I proceeded to say that "If you're happy with my performance, why is my probation being judged based on one week, which could be clearly resolved by asking me to OT on Friday and come back in on Saturday to correct those images?"
In which he replied he needed to show client already yadda yadda and repeats the point of he only could send 4 instead of the 6 images because the images were not up to his standard. Which he approved the images before I left on Friday.
Other reasons were that I was using the Internet too much during tight deadlines (which I use for searching PICTURES OF SKIES AND SEA AND RANDOM BUILDINGS IN THE BACKGROUND HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET IMAGES WITHOUT THE INTERNET) and that I need to control my emotions when I'm working. This left me with a 'Hah?' because I've always kept a monotonous tone in his presence or whenever I'm talking to him, while he's the one banging open his locked glass door whenever he returns to office, and bangs his mouse and the aircond control on the table. All the time.
T__T
In a nutshell, he extended my probation until the end of the month on the counts of 'being inconsistent' and being 'too emotional'. His parting words were '"Jennifer, mou kam meong la, hoi sam teet la? *Inserts sly smile*" (Jennifer, don't be like that, be a little happier la?)
I remember restraining myself, went to my colleagues who waited for me to go out for lunch and immediately took the lift down. As we reached the ground floor, I couldn't hold back from bursting out into tears and told them what happened.
On 2nd June and there is no answer from him. And the colleague that I'm closest to now is also leaving the company.
As for the office politick-ing part, it happened with the previous colleague who has now finally left the company, so I don't really wanna relive the whole event in my head again -__-
Finally on Friday I got my confirmation letter, all with mixed feelings on whether I should seek for a better company which takes better care for their staff and provides a better learning environment.
Anyway, happy birthday to my dearest elderg , kemuridono and mistressnaoko! :3 Thanks to all who could make it for the small party at Frontera <3 ♥ And thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou aoitenshii for the ARIA gashapon figurinesssss!!! Will post up pictures once I get my room table cleaned of junk TwT
Yes it was 5am in the morning (and a few days ago) when I wrote this, and strangely it's the only time I get to actually reflect upon my current state of things. Work has engulfed me into this black hole/abyss which leaves me stressed+mati konkiao upon reaching home. I cannot put into words simply how much this new job has given me a total jump in terms of salary increment (and is helping me finance my own car), but has also brought about a lot of office politics/dealing with emotional boss and such - all in this short span of my 2nd job.
As some of you may say that the creative line is all about uncertain deadlines and such, but being lied to about the deadline is nothing short of funny.
Project K is our anchor project which has been going on since the beginning of April, and project is said to end on 27th May with 50 images. Every week since then our supposed target per week is 8 images (as brought up by me + my colleague FS with the boss present). Now if one were to do some simple math and calculate whether we can even achieve this target, one would come up with the figure of less than 40 images, and that was not including the modeller's and renderer's time before I get to work on the final output image.
That aside, so throughout the weeks I was made to search reference pictures/handle some other small projects, and all was fine.
We have OT-ed several days until 11pm for those weeks just to rush to his deadlines (which he will only tell us on Thursday despite requesting it throughout the week). Nevermind that, we grit our teeth and did our parts.
On my last week of probation (12th May being the last day of probation) I waited for him to call me into the office but nothing happened and he left early. That week on Tuesday he requested me to work on Project SV which finally had approval on the image, and that I needed to do up 3 images by Saturday. When I brought up the situation of not having enough time to meet the Project K targeted images while doing Project SV images (at that time Project K renders were having problems like fitting in incomplete models, etc), he said himself that he would take up 4 images to edit and I could work on the 3 images from Project SV + 2 Project K images = 5 images.
So I went in on Friday 15th and asked if I was a confirmed staff, and he said "Yes, don't worry you're a confirmed staff already :D" and when I asked when I could get my letter he said that it will be ready on Monday.
Monday there was no news, and he gave me another piece of work which left me too busy to even go in to ask about my letter.
Then came Tuesday, when he finally called me into his office.
And then he said he needed to extend my probation. D8.
Upon asking why, he goes to account that he missed the deadline, and that week we only produced 6 out of 8 images, 4 of which 'passed' his standard.
(Note : 8 images here is the accumulative of 2 weeks because the render machine was spoilt which halted the renders and 2nd last week of probation there was only 2 images that could be completed. On the last week there were only 6 renders complete)
Then I said "If you were not happy with the standard, you could've let me know and then I could've come in on Saturday to work on them."
Then he counters with "I didn't want to show you this earlier because I thought it would affect your emotions - all 16 images that were completed earlier had amendments from the client *browses very quickly through the folder of his to show me the amendments* And I've already edited 4 images for you"
I had to defend myself, so I said "That week you know that I had Project SV to handle, which you said you needed it by Friday and I completed it. If I didn't have that project I would've done those 4 images which you took up to do"
So I asked, "Are you not happy with my performance?" and he said "Yes I'm very happy with your performance, but because we missed the deadline that week I am extending your probation until end of this month."
Then I proceeded to say that "If you're happy with my performance, why is my probation being judged based on one week, which could be clearly resolved by asking me to OT on Friday and come back in on Saturday to correct those images?"
In which he replied he needed to show client already yadda yadda and repeats the point of he only could send 4 instead of the 6 images because the images were not up to his standard. Which he approved the images before I left on Friday.
Other reasons were that I was using the Internet too much during tight deadlines (which I use for searching PICTURES OF SKIES AND SEA AND RANDOM BUILDINGS IN THE BACKGROUND HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET IMAGES WITHOUT THE INTERNET) and that I need to control my emotions when I'm working. This left me with a 'Hah?' because I've always kept a monotonous tone in his presence or whenever I'm talking to him, while he's the one banging open his locked glass door whenever he returns to office, and bangs his mouse and the aircond control on the table. All the time.
T__T
In a nutshell, he extended my probation until the end of the month on the counts of 'being inconsistent' and being 'too emotional'. His parting words were '"Jennifer, mou kam meong la, hoi sam teet la? *Inserts sly smile*" (Jennifer, don't be like that, be a little happier la?)
I remember restraining myself, went to my colleagues who waited for me to go out for lunch and immediately took the lift down. As we reached the ground floor, I couldn't hold back from bursting out into tears and told them what happened.
On 2nd June and there is no answer from him. And the colleague that I'm closest to now is also leaving the company.
As for the office politick-ing part, it happened with the previous colleague who has now finally left the company, so I don't really wanna relive the whole event in my head again -__-
Finally on Friday I got my confirmation letter, all with mixed feelings on whether I should seek for a better company which takes better care for their staff and provides a better learning environment.
Anyway, happy birthday to my dearest elderg , kemuridono and mistressnaoko! :3 Thanks to all who could make it for the small party at Frontera <3 ♥ And thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou aoitenshii for the ARIA gashapon figurinesssss!!! Will post up pictures once I get my room table cleaned of junk TwT