Listen in, land-lubbers, to a story-teller of salt.
Darque sits at a table not far from the fire. This is a Kitezh hangout, and so he is being treated with care, while he tells a story. "...to see that she had sailed over the edge of the world! And that was the last I heard from her, although I have a limp in bad weather to this day."
Victoria comes in with her huge dog and Cesar, the dog, pads to Darque. WOOOOOOF!
Darque feels downward. "Ah, Emrys of Weirmonken. I know you in that guise."
Victoria laughs "Errr... he's a Cesar." she sits herself down.
Darque nods. "I know, but it's a cheap laugh. And you're the little piece from Pitello, with the accent to make a blind man bite through his stick."
Victoria chuckles "Indeed, Victoria I am. I am sorry to interrupt your story."
Darque says, "Arr, no need. But the name Victoria does in itself remind me of another. There was a girl I knew with magnificent plums."
Victoria blinks "Plums? She was a fruit farmer?"
Darque says, "They were Victoria Plums. But aye, she grew fruit. Plump, delicious fruit that gave under a man's fingers, with the bloom still on it. And she also had breasts as big as melons, lassie. Melons!"
Victoria grins "How vulgar, honestly..."
Darque says, "Well, you were thinking it. But this story is about her plums. Purple, they were, like an Emperor's Sins. And Stormalog wanted them. 'E wanted the breasts as well, but Rilga put her foot down. On HIS plums, far as I know, heh heh."
Victoria laughs and shakes her head "You are a horrible horrible man." she gets them a mead each.
Darque says, "So Stormalog wanted the plums, and Victorina-was-her-name wanted a good night's sleep, and so she went to Rilga, and said she feared for herself. And so Rilga drugged her husband the one night they were anchored close to shore, and he never got the plums. Which still grow, ye see, on the mainland."
Victoria grins "So how have you been? Plumless?#
Darque says, "Mostly legless. It beats eyeless. I can't put a decent crew together in Minos right now, not an indecent one either."
Victoria says "Corrupt one?"
Darque says, "I could corrupt one, but then I'd have to explain to their mothers what I did with their darling children. I don't have enough eyes left, lass."
Victoria hmmms "Get a boat that one blind man crew can handle?"
Darque says, "I have the Echo Rei, but she's up on stocks, having her bottom scraped. How's your bottom? Courage-wise, I mean."
Victoria says "Couragefull?" she sips "It doesn't need scraping."
Darque says, "Pity. I was about to ask. Not even in need of a moderate inspection, and perhaps a going-over?"
Victoria chuckles "My bottom is off limits, dear."
Darque says, "Unfathomable, eh? Deep, and mysterious. Do you have the price of a good crew lying about your delicate person?"
Victoria chuckles "My dear, I don't have many a pirate friend. On my person. But you can search me if you don't believe me, of course, my dog might bite your head off."
Darque says, "I can hear you do not jangle, and that means either you're a slip of a thing with no jewelry, or you have no obscenely large pile of cash to hand. Or more probably, both."
Victoria sips "Maybe I just don't sound it...?"
Darque says, "Maybe you have enough flesh to pad out the jewels."
Victoria contemplates "May be."
Darque says, "Or you have wisely put them in a bank. I know a story about a bank vault. It has a very complicated ending though, and you'd never crack it."
Victoria says "My brother lives in old bank. We have a vault."
Darque says, "Do you, bigorrah? And this would not perchance be filled with forgotten fortunes and shapely treasures?"
Victoria grins "JUst dead relatives..."
Darque prompts, "With gold teeth?"
Victoria says "Oh we picked those out ages ago."
Darque tells Cesar, "Arr," and gets up. "Point me to the door, lassie? I have an appointment with destiny and the privy both."
Victoria laughs and rises, turning him and saying "Go ahead, sweety."
Darque reaches around to pat Victoria, but only gets Cesar's nose. "Aye, such is life," he says sadly, and taps his way forward with his quarterstaff.
Victoria comes in with her huge dog and Cesar, the dog, pads to Darque. WOOOOOOF!
Darque feels downward. "Ah, Emrys of Weirmonken. I know you in that guise."
Victoria laughs "Errr... he's a Cesar." she sits herself down.
Darque nods. "I know, but it's a cheap laugh. And you're the little piece from Pitello, with the accent to make a blind man bite through his stick."
Victoria chuckles "Indeed, Victoria I am. I am sorry to interrupt your story."
Darque says, "Arr, no need. But the name Victoria does in itself remind me of another. There was a girl I knew with magnificent plums."
Victoria blinks "Plums? She was a fruit farmer?"
Darque says, "They were Victoria Plums. But aye, she grew fruit. Plump, delicious fruit that gave under a man's fingers, with the bloom still on it. And she also had breasts as big as melons, lassie. Melons!"
Victoria grins "How vulgar, honestly..."
Darque says, "Well, you were thinking it. But this story is about her plums. Purple, they were, like an Emperor's Sins. And Stormalog wanted them. 'E wanted the breasts as well, but Rilga put her foot down. On HIS plums, far as I know, heh heh."
Victoria laughs and shakes her head "You are a horrible horrible man." she gets them a mead each.
Darque says, "So Stormalog wanted the plums, and Victorina-was-her-name wanted a good night's sleep, and so she went to Rilga, and said she feared for herself. And so Rilga drugged her husband the one night they were anchored close to shore, and he never got the plums. Which still grow, ye see, on the mainland."
Victoria grins "So how have you been? Plumless?#
Darque says, "Mostly legless. It beats eyeless. I can't put a decent crew together in Minos right now, not an indecent one either."
Victoria says "Corrupt one?"
Darque says, "I could corrupt one, but then I'd have to explain to their mothers what I did with their darling children. I don't have enough eyes left, lass."
Victoria hmmms "Get a boat that one blind man crew can handle?"
Darque says, "I have the Echo Rei, but she's up on stocks, having her bottom scraped. How's your bottom? Courage-wise, I mean."
Victoria says "Couragefull?" she sips "It doesn't need scraping."
Darque says, "Pity. I was about to ask. Not even in need of a moderate inspection, and perhaps a going-over?"
Victoria chuckles "My bottom is off limits, dear."
Darque says, "Unfathomable, eh? Deep, and mysterious. Do you have the price of a good crew lying about your delicate person?"
Victoria chuckles "My dear, I don't have many a pirate friend. On my person. But you can search me if you don't believe me, of course, my dog might bite your head off."
Darque says, "I can hear you do not jangle, and that means either you're a slip of a thing with no jewelry, or you have no obscenely large pile of cash to hand. Or more probably, both."
Victoria sips "Maybe I just don't sound it...?"
Darque says, "Maybe you have enough flesh to pad out the jewels."
Victoria contemplates "May be."
Darque says, "Or you have wisely put them in a bank. I know a story about a bank vault. It has a very complicated ending though, and you'd never crack it."
Victoria says "My brother lives in old bank. We have a vault."
Darque says, "Do you, bigorrah? And this would not perchance be filled with forgotten fortunes and shapely treasures?"
Victoria grins "JUst dead relatives..."
Darque prompts, "With gold teeth?"
Victoria says "Oh we picked those out ages ago."
Darque tells Cesar, "Arr," and gets up. "Point me to the door, lassie? I have an appointment with destiny and the privy both."
Victoria laughs and rises, turning him and saying "Go ahead, sweety."
Darque reaches around to pat Victoria, but only gets Cesar's nose. "Aye, such is life," he says sadly, and taps his way forward with his quarterstaff.