Jan 13, 2010 20:27
It sometimes feels like a step backwards. Looking at our relationship from a different perspective. I called off the engagement and announced that I'm moving out after our lease is up.
But it's something that I think I need to do. I have never lived on my own before. Not to mention, I'm moving out from living with two boys and moving in with two girls. It'll be refreshing not having to constantly clean up after Steve. Or constantly cooking for two boys and myself. And the bathroom! The bathroom, you guys. I just...need this.
I am afraid of what will happen to my relationship with Stuart. Maybe this will push us to break up but I hope not. I hope this strengthens our relationship. We've never not lived with each other.
I am afraid of moving in with two friends. Living with family is easier. Living with your boyfriend is easier. I really hope nothing horrible happens and ruins our friendships. But if it does, it does. I need this experience. I need to be alone for awhile.
But I will always need him more.