And with only one sniff
McDonald serious salesman
McDonald: How is everyone doing today? All well I hope. Good cause i am about to make each and everyone of your lives unbearably better. Ladies and gentlemen our society is in decline. It's getting worse day in and day out. The economy is down, family morals are collapsing and there is no end in the near future. Take a look at the person next to you. Please sir, take a long hard look. Statistically speaking at least one of these people will have raped someone by the end of their lifetimes. Then again 90% of statistics are thought up on the spot. Then why should you trust me? Ladies and gentlemen i am the truth and furthermore my product is very real. It is the answer to all our current problems and the missing piece in your daily life. I have seen the future and the future is......cocaine!
McDonald makes dramatic shift into "melodramatic" sales pitch
McDonald: Cocaine, ladies and gentlemen the answer to all your problems. Husbands do you often find yourselves unable to satisfy your lover, try cocaine. Women, do you often find yourselves alone at home or at work in a slump of boredom , why not cocaine? Problem: You've just moved into a new city and little Billy is having trouble making friends at school. Answer: Slap some cocaine on him and i'll garantee he'll be an instant hit.
McDonald: Now i know what you are all thinking. How come i haven't had anyone sell this to me before? Cause they aren't looking out for your best interests, unlike us at Crack About Crack enterprises who believe you deserve the finer things in life. At this point i'd like to turn it to our head researcher, Dr. Angel Doost.
Dr. Doost: At Crack About Crack enterprises, our researchers are chosen from the scientific best to give you the scientific best. Scientifically derived from an ancient Inca formula, our little miracle of science, has been proven to be SO enjoyable, you may never want to stop using it, scientifically speaking of course.
McDonald: Dr. Doost could you tell us a little more about the product?
Dr. Doost: I could but i don't want to be TOO revealing
McDonald and Dr. laugh in unison
If continued would include audience participation, Q&A session, and the Tob Co.
McDonald: How is everyone doing today? All well I hope. Good cause i am about to make each and everyone of your lives unbearably better. Ladies and gentlemen our society is in decline. It's getting worse day in and day out. The economy is down, family morals are collapsing and there is no end in the near future. Take a look at the person next to you. Please sir, take a long hard look. Statistically speaking at least one of these people will have raped someone by the end of their lifetimes. Then again 90% of statistics are thought up on the spot. Then why should you trust me? Ladies and gentlemen i am the truth and furthermore my product is very real. It is the answer to all our current problems and the missing piece in your daily life. I have seen the future and the future is......cocaine!
McDonald makes dramatic shift into "melodramatic" sales pitch
McDonald: Cocaine, ladies and gentlemen the answer to all your problems. Husbands do you often find yourselves unable to satisfy your lover, try cocaine. Women, do you often find yourselves alone at home or at work in a slump of boredom , why not cocaine? Problem: You've just moved into a new city and little Billy is having trouble making friends at school. Answer: Slap some cocaine on him and i'll garantee he'll be an instant hit.
McDonald: Now i know what you are all thinking. How come i haven't had anyone sell this to me before? Cause they aren't looking out for your best interests, unlike us at Crack About Crack enterprises who believe you deserve the finer things in life. At this point i'd like to turn it to our head researcher, Dr. Angel Doost.
Dr. Doost: At Crack About Crack enterprises, our researchers are chosen from the scientific best to give you the scientific best. Scientifically derived from an ancient Inca formula, our little miracle of science, has been proven to be SO enjoyable, you may never want to stop using it, scientifically speaking of course.
McDonald: Dr. Doost could you tell us a little more about the product?
Dr. Doost: I could but i don't want to be TOO revealing
McDonald and Dr. laugh in unison
If continued would include audience participation, Q&A session, and the Tob Co.