Oprah's reduced-fat perspective on menopause, NOW! without cheese
As time passes. People get older. Life continues and events occur. It is impossible to stop time, for time stops for no one. Not even for itself. If time wished itself to be stopped, it would be deemed impossible because of the intrinsic nature of time and it's unstoppability. Life is deep. Haha well enough of this serious Andron-esque type writing. Time to get to every day events. Ummmm, had some good bubblgum today, actually tasted like bubblegum. Tasty stuff. Uhhh.....
oh Green World, why has the grass been uncut for so long, pardon me oh sweet sweet mother grass, Cheech has left Chong hanging for far too long. Tickle me elmo is a creative metaphor for say.........bombastic vagina, yes no better news than your local OB-GYN telling you that everything looks healthy down there and is pinnacle bombastic condition.......
I am a nube when it comes to this stuff. I often get nervous when i try new things like this. As I am doing this my mind comes to many blanks which makes me question my ability to come up with funny, serious, witty and/or sarcastic comments, stories, or heck maybe even haiku's. Hopefully I can do a justice with this. The will be the first of many my friends, so be prepared. Please forgive me for grammar errors you might see, I like math.
The question has recently been posed to me. Pirate or Ninja. I will attempt to solve this query from a scientific point of view. Firstly, the point is made that Pirates are drunk. Counter point, Ninja's are high(Arabic assasins smoking hashish to get bucked out of their mind before killing). Now of course Alcohol can skew judgement and slow reaction times, but it also helps the Pirates become more wild and more powerful. It empowers them to rob, pillage and of course, get some booty! A drunk pirate with a ship full of booty seems like a hell of a good time. Ninja's on the other hand are stoned out of their mind. But not sit on the porch and eat twinkies stoned, they are on PCP speed kind of stoned where they are just BAJKDBTOAJSBGDJ and want to run through fucking walls and kick people in the nuts all day. True their thinking is more focused and reaction time better because time slows down, in a sense, but do they have the same decision making abilities as a drunk pirate. They will fulfill their mission, but will not as much booty as a pirate will. In conclusion, I believe that a drunken pirate is more capable of getting drunken booty than a stoned ninja is of getting stoned booty. But either way, booty's booty!
Custard pie! whatever happened to the practical generality of "normal" pies when was the last you had a cherry pie? apple pie? HELL even a peach pie? actually do they even have peach pie? they have peach cobbler but pie? heresy i say, down with the workforce let them drown amongst paperwork and ink of carbear stationary, damn friday NEXT friday firday AFTER NEXT, it all rolls into one fancy little gift from the lord above, and praise be to the highest PRAISE!!!!!!!!! now sirs i think you's should be reading your bibles, like did you know Jesus was a jew? if not to the heavens, SPACE, the next frontier, imagine one day you'll walk around the street and someone wil be "hot damn, check it out, homeboy f@#ked a Martian" rad.
Let me tell you a story...a story about kitchen utensils/tools that actually talked. In the world called the kitchen, the head tool reigns supreme. The pot looks after his royal subjects. Pot likes to boils and produce steam...a kind of smoke if you will. Pot likes to boil many things. Pot likes to boiil eggs, water, seafood (asian stuff soo good), and other stuff that boils which cause a smoking aura. It's safe to say that spoons, forks, knifes, pizza cutter likes Pot. P.S. Asian food
there is a green marker on the table. well actually it is a highlighter. it reminds me that I do not have a greet high lighter. I have a red one and a yellow one and a blue, orange, pink one, but no green. that is very strange. i would like a green marker for my white board at my dorm. all we have are these crappy black markers that are really light and IRONMAN!!!!!!!!!!! *thuderstrike* out of the wind into the fire blazing to the tune of St Elmo's diner, run away you scraed brotha here he comes, he's no undercover brother, CAUSE WHY!? BOY he's Ironman fries your brain with a monkey wrench, bigger than 6 foot 10 IronMAN, more man than woman cause Ironwoman would be schmelting a hellauvah LOT, so oy vey it's irojay!!!!!!!! yippe yae kae yeah yay!!!!! electro bullwhipe, swinger? partna, say what partna!? So the club scene in san antonio seems pretty hott. that reminds me of what I was thinking about in Colleges. to me, ah damn I dont feel like discussing colleges right now, i'll just check out these pictures. ohh I wish I had more pictures of me and my friends. I am not much of a picture taker, but I do love pictures. They make me feel like a sexy kind of man. Oh fuck this shit time to tell a story about a pigglet and another pigglet. Once upon a time there was a shiny glass pigglet who flew around the north pole. this pig had to continually fly because it was so delicate that it could only rest on soft, fine grass. of course the north pole has no land and is basically icebergs, so this poor magical glass pigglet had to constantly fly around. one time it flew above this tall, sharp iceberg and an icy wind blew suddenly and pushed the delicate glass pigglet off it's course, forcing it to smash right into the iceberg. when the pigglet came to he realized he was deep inside the iceberg. The pigglet did not shatter into hundreds of pieces as the pigglet thought it would. in fact the pigglet was in a soft, warm place, which was very strange because the center of an iceberg is not known for being soft, let alone being warm. and what concerned the pigglet even more is that it hard turned into a puppet! so this magical no-longer-glass pigglet puppet was now a real boy and told no more lies.
Halle Berry, Jennifer Connelly, Denise Richards, The Cheerleader from Heroes, Eva Longoria, Kate Beckinsale, and of course my baby Vannessa Hudgens. Ladies who I think are mighty fine, damn fine. We're coming to an age when finding a perfect woman keeps running through minds of others. For Browns, the perfect pakistan/muslim/punjabi/arranged girl comes to mind. yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumy! Farewell, until we meet again. shit
only light beer left. *as the sad sad child left the bar stool spinnin'* Keep it real? HELL NAH reality bites, oh hush NAH man i had a dog named Reality bit clean through my fav socks, damn i miss those socks, went to my frist concert in those sock, took the SATs in those socks, MADE LOVE in those socks. Why you lookin my way? you heard me right, other freakier people do odder things, I'm the Indiana Jones of freaks, minus the whole fact Harrison Ford is most likely dependent on Viagra, such a shame that our mighty Stallion Han Solo has been crippled by age. so hose them dwon and bring Sally round cause by the end of the night, will be done with this town.
oh Green World, why has the grass been uncut for so long, pardon me oh sweet sweet mother grass, Cheech has left Chong hanging for far too long. Tickle me elmo is a creative metaphor for say.........bombastic vagina, yes no better news than your local OB-GYN telling you that everything looks healthy down there and is pinnacle bombastic condition.......
I am a nube when it comes to this stuff. I often get nervous when i try new things like this. As I am doing this my mind comes to many blanks which makes me question my ability to come up with funny, serious, witty and/or sarcastic comments, stories, or heck maybe even haiku's. Hopefully I can do a justice with this. The will be the first of many my friends, so be prepared. Please forgive me for grammar errors you might see, I like math.
The question has recently been posed to me. Pirate or Ninja. I will attempt to solve this query from a scientific point of view. Firstly, the point is made that Pirates are drunk. Counter point, Ninja's are high(Arabic assasins smoking hashish to get bucked out of their mind before killing). Now of course Alcohol can skew judgement and slow reaction times, but it also helps the Pirates become more wild and more powerful. It empowers them to rob, pillage and of course, get some booty! A drunk pirate with a ship full of booty seems like a hell of a good time. Ninja's on the other hand are stoned out of their mind. But not sit on the porch and eat twinkies stoned, they are on PCP speed kind of stoned where they are just BAJKDBTOAJSBGDJ and want to run through fucking walls and kick people in the nuts all day. True their thinking is more focused and reaction time better because time slows down, in a sense, but do they have the same decision making abilities as a drunk pirate. They will fulfill their mission, but will not as much booty as a pirate will. In conclusion, I believe that a drunken pirate is more capable of getting drunken booty than a stoned ninja is of getting stoned booty. But either way, booty's booty!
Custard pie! whatever happened to the practical generality of "normal" pies when was the last you had a cherry pie? apple pie? HELL even a peach pie? actually do they even have peach pie? they have peach cobbler but pie? heresy i say, down with the workforce let them drown amongst paperwork and ink of carbear stationary, damn friday NEXT friday firday AFTER NEXT, it all rolls into one fancy little gift from the lord above, and praise be to the highest PRAISE!!!!!!!!! now sirs i think you's should be reading your bibles, like did you know Jesus was a jew? if not to the heavens, SPACE, the next frontier, imagine one day you'll walk around the street and someone wil be "hot damn, check it out, homeboy f@#ked a Martian" rad.
Let me tell you a story...a story about kitchen utensils/tools that actually talked. In the world called the kitchen, the head tool reigns supreme. The pot looks after his royal subjects. Pot likes to boils and produce steam...a kind of smoke if you will. Pot likes to boil many things. Pot likes to boiil eggs, water, seafood (asian stuff soo good), and other stuff that boils which cause a smoking aura. It's safe to say that spoons, forks, knifes, pizza cutter likes Pot. P.S. Asian food
there is a green marker on the table. well actually it is a highlighter. it reminds me that I do not have a greet high lighter. I have a red one and a yellow one and a blue, orange, pink one, but no green. that is very strange. i would like a green marker for my white board at my dorm. all we have are these crappy black markers that are really light and IRONMAN!!!!!!!!!!! *thuderstrike* out of the wind into the fire blazing to the tune of St Elmo's diner, run away you scraed brotha here he comes, he's no undercover brother, CAUSE WHY!? BOY he's Ironman fries your brain with a monkey wrench, bigger than 6 foot 10 IronMAN, more man than woman cause Ironwoman would be schmelting a hellauvah LOT, so oy vey it's irojay!!!!!!!! yippe yae kae yeah yay!!!!! electro bullwhipe, swinger? partna, say what partna!? So the club scene in san antonio seems pretty hott. that reminds me of what I was thinking about in Colleges. to me, ah damn I dont feel like discussing colleges right now, i'll just check out these pictures. ohh I wish I had more pictures of me and my friends. I am not much of a picture taker, but I do love pictures. They make me feel like a sexy kind of man. Oh fuck this shit time to tell a story about a pigglet and another pigglet. Once upon a time there was a shiny glass pigglet who flew around the north pole. this pig had to continually fly because it was so delicate that it could only rest on soft, fine grass. of course the north pole has no land and is basically icebergs, so this poor magical glass pigglet had to constantly fly around. one time it flew above this tall, sharp iceberg and an icy wind blew suddenly and pushed the delicate glass pigglet off it's course, forcing it to smash right into the iceberg. when the pigglet came to he realized he was deep inside the iceberg. The pigglet did not shatter into hundreds of pieces as the pigglet thought it would. in fact the pigglet was in a soft, warm place, which was very strange because the center of an iceberg is not known for being soft, let alone being warm. and what concerned the pigglet even more is that it hard turned into a puppet! so this magical no-longer-glass pigglet puppet was now a real boy and told no more lies.
Halle Berry, Jennifer Connelly, Denise Richards, The Cheerleader from Heroes, Eva Longoria, Kate Beckinsale, and of course my baby Vannessa Hudgens. Ladies who I think are mighty fine, damn fine. We're coming to an age when finding a perfect woman keeps running through minds of others. For Browns, the perfect pakistan/muslim/punjabi/arranged girl comes to mind. yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumy! Farewell, until we meet again. shit
only light beer left. *as the sad sad child left the bar stool spinnin'* Keep it real? HELL NAH reality bites, oh hush NAH man i had a dog named Reality bit clean through my fav socks, damn i miss those socks, went to my frist concert in those sock, took the SATs in those socks, MADE LOVE in those socks. Why you lookin my way? you heard me right, other freakier people do odder things, I'm the Indiana Jones of freaks, minus the whole fact Harrison Ford is most likely dependent on Viagra, such a shame that our mighty Stallion Han Solo has been crippled by age. so hose them dwon and bring Sally round cause by the end of the night, will be done with this town.