(no subject)
i just lied to my dad on the phone and told him i was doing well in school.
i am so SICK of things.... people, school, "friends", etc. etc.
i am flakey. i am lazy. i like being alone, but not lonely. i am way too nice. i am a pushover. i am caring. i am conisderate. probably way too considerate. and i know i am way too forgiving. my mom raised me to be sweet. it was fine when i lived in raleigh. but greenville is different. this really is Sin City, it seems. everyone comes here and some do well, others just get dragged down by this sad, small town and the fact that there is very little to do here but party.
i have become an apathetic lump of meaningless matter.
this world is hilarious. i think everyone (including myself) is going crazy, the only reason i feel slightly above everyone is because i actually realize this. i am having a mid-life crisis at the age of 19.
i want to run away, i want to escape. i want to start over. i want to change the way i eat, the way i think, the way i start my day. i want to organize my life and my closet. i want my car to be clean. i want to not have failed three classes in one semester. i want to have a job, responsibilities. i want consistancy. i want good friends who don't take advantage, mooch, or wear out their welcome. i want to see my ideas come to life, i want to see my designs in boutiques.
i want so many things, and i know that if i stay on the path i'm taking now, i won't get anywhere.
i dont want to be here.
i'm sick of being me.
i think the reason i love ghost world so much is because I am Enid. there are a few differences, but we are exactly alike in the areas that matter. i just might have to pull an Enid and skip town on a bus that doesn't exist.
i am so SICK of things.... people, school, "friends", etc. etc.
i am flakey. i am lazy. i like being alone, but not lonely. i am way too nice. i am a pushover. i am caring. i am conisderate. probably way too considerate. and i know i am way too forgiving. my mom raised me to be sweet. it was fine when i lived in raleigh. but greenville is different. this really is Sin City, it seems. everyone comes here and some do well, others just get dragged down by this sad, small town and the fact that there is very little to do here but party.
i have become an apathetic lump of meaningless matter.
this world is hilarious. i think everyone (including myself) is going crazy, the only reason i feel slightly above everyone is because i actually realize this. i am having a mid-life crisis at the age of 19.
i want to run away, i want to escape. i want to start over. i want to change the way i eat, the way i think, the way i start my day. i want to organize my life and my closet. i want my car to be clean. i want to not have failed three classes in one semester. i want to have a job, responsibilities. i want consistancy. i want good friends who don't take advantage, mooch, or wear out their welcome. i want to see my ideas come to life, i want to see my designs in boutiques.
i want so many things, and i know that if i stay on the path i'm taking now, i won't get anywhere.
i dont want to be here.
i'm sick of being me.
i think the reason i love ghost world so much is because I am Enid. there are a few differences, but we are exactly alike in the areas that matter. i just might have to pull an Enid and skip town on a bus that doesn't exist.