so, while in taiwan...
go visit internet cafes, teach your dad how to play warcraft III, and update journal. also, if/when i get back i'll elaborate about my wonderful trip to taiwan (here right now) and all the nice pictures and nice things that happened, but not in this journal. becaues this journal is about funniness and misfortunes.
this entry will be less funny, simply because i only have 7 minutes left on my account. however, when i get a chance, i will update better. paul, i have your present. and that present is your laughter. but not yet. not now. i have a picture that you can appreciate.
for now, i will discuss this: it is difficult to masturbate while surrounded by family. and a full prostate = unhappy kevin. and whenever i squeeze hard (eg. take a shit) it leaks.
imagine my joy.
fuck fuck fuck.
more on this later.
incidentally, i also saw a girl at street market that had a shirt that said "dysfunctional" on the front, and "hell #69 on the back" (a la football jersey). i wanted to get her picture with that shirt, but since my chinese is the equivalent of a foreigner's (altho a pretty good foreigner) i was afraid that my request would be mistaken. not that i was going to ask for anything inappropriate. it's just that my chinese vocab isn't that good, and some of the substitutions that i might use could very well be grounds for sexual harassment. for your amusement, i have translated what i had planned to say here:
hi, excuse me. i'm from america, and i like your clothes. so i wanted to ask you if i could take a picture of you and your backside as something to remember. that'd make me happy. thanks.
really, i just wanted a picture of her sweater and what it says on the back, but heck. i figured i could save getting slapped for when i get back to a country when the grounds for physical abuse will be legitimate.
more to come that will be better. promise
this entry will be less funny, simply because i only have 7 minutes left on my account. however, when i get a chance, i will update better. paul, i have your present. and that present is your laughter. but not yet. not now. i have a picture that you can appreciate.
for now, i will discuss this: it is difficult to masturbate while surrounded by family. and a full prostate = unhappy kevin. and whenever i squeeze hard (eg. take a shit) it leaks.
imagine my joy.
fuck fuck fuck.
incidentally, i also saw a girl at street market that had a shirt that said "dysfunctional" on the front, and "hell #69 on the back" (a la football jersey). i wanted to get her picture with that shirt, but since my chinese is the equivalent of a foreigner's (altho a pretty good foreigner) i was afraid that my request would be mistaken. not that i was going to ask for anything inappropriate. it's just that my chinese vocab isn't that good, and some of the substitutions that i might use could very well be grounds for sexual harassment. for your amusement, i have translated what i had planned to say here:
hi, excuse me. i'm from america, and i like your clothes. so i wanted to ask you if i could take a picture of you and your backside as something to remember. that'd make me happy. thanks.
really, i just wanted a picture of her sweater and what it says on the back, but heck. i figured i could save getting slapped for when i get back to a country when the grounds for physical abuse will be legitimate.
more to come that will be better. promise