May Activity Check

May 27, 2012 12:55

Dear Professor Himesaki,

Earlier this month Myoudouin and Tsubomi's pilot returned from their trip with Dita Lielbey. It seemed that during the trip they were confronted with an enemy. While your granddaughter is fine she was in a wheelchair for a while do to damage she took to her lower back. I spoke to Lielbey soon after their return and she told me that your granddaughter wants to be a hero. You know how I feel about that word. "Hero". So I spoke to her in hopes of having her see that it isn't all that it is cracked up to be. However, she threw it back in my face and even had the nerve to say that my path was "easy" and that me sacrificing myself for this world is wrong. Needless to say I was offended. I explained myself more to her and I left her to heal.

On another note, Professor, my nightmares are getting worse again. I've been taking my medication and meditating, even sleeping in areas of the Chalice that feel more comfortable to me. Nothing seems to be working. In the past few days people have been finding me writhing in my sleep. Laura and Tsubomi's pilot were two of the people who found me. I told them both of the 'incident'. Laura pointed out that I may be pushing myself too hard. Tsubomi's pilot called me weak. With what she said before still fresh in my mind and just waking up from a dream about the 'incident', I snapped at her. An argument broke out and during it I realized something about her. She doesn't really listen to me. Just like so many others, she only hears what she wants to hear. I also don't like how pushy she is for me to open up. It makes me uncomfortable. I've told her I don't want to but she is so adamant about it. I think that may be the reason we clash so badly.

This month has been full of sadness, Professor. Frank Symes died on the battlefield. He was killed by a monster called a Shifting Entity when he moved to protect Laura. Worse is that it seems that Laura was brainwashed by a man named Roger Dantoinne into giving him a control crystal for Shifting Entities that we obtained from a group called the Thoughts of Ascension. Laura locked herself in the brig after she return, afraid that she was a danger to everyone. I didn't believe that, so I went into the cell she was in and stayed with her and did my best to comfort her. It was then that I made a promise with her. That we would help support each other through our pains. It was also then that I made a silent vow to protect her. I knew she meant a lot to me and I didn't want to see her die like all the others

So I sortied with her to fight Roger Dantoinne. We had to fight his cult members as well as himself but in the end we were able to defeat him. But then a SE appeared. A very powerful one that seemed to throw all our attacks back at us. It moved to attack Laura and I instantly took action. I sped next to Laura and used the Ellen Barrier while protecting her with my own body. The SE sliced through both the barrier and Ellen as if they were nothing. We were losing badly and that is when it happened. Laura and Devon Kwan fused with the SE and vanished into the Earth. I waited on the battlefield as long as I could, staring at the spot that they disappeared into, hoping they would come back. But they didn't. They were marked as MIA but knowing my luck I assumed they were dead. It hurt. I can't even describe how much it hurt. I was a wreck. I hid to try and pull myself together. But your granddaughter found me. She saw my state and found out what Laura meant to me, that she was one of the first people I truly opened up to in a long time. She showed me Laura's flower patch and gave me tools to take care of it before giving me space to think. Soon after her, Lielbey found me. It seemed she was quite hurt by this turn of events as well and could only communicate to me via her empathy. She stayed with me and comforted me. Laura meant a lot to her too. In the end, fatigue started to overtake me but I was too afraid of the nightmares to sleep. I knew Laura would become a part of them. Lielbey stayed with me and swore that I wouldn't be plagued by nightmares. After some arguing, I couldn't stay awake any longer and fell asleep. But something happened. I didn't have a nightmare. For the first time in ten years, I had a good dream. Just as she promised.

I locked myself up for a while, only coming out to take care of Laura's flowers. One of the times that I went to water them, I found Myoudouin and Bidan making out. To say I was shocked is an understatement but at that time I was so full of hurt that the shock had little effect on me. I asked them when this started and Myoudouin told me this happened when Soras was momentarily killed. I found out then that she was there when it all happened and she didn't inform me. She even tried to lie to me about it. I knew she was on some level working behind my back for a while now and this the last straw for me. I gave her a day of my 'special' training in hopes of nipping this in the bud.

Shortly after this, a miracle happened. Laura returned with Devon Kwan. At first I thought this was but a dream meant to torture me. But it wasn't, it was real. I cried out of happiness. It was a unique feeling. I don't think I've ever been that happy in my whole life. I stayed with Laura for quite some time. I was on some level afraid to leave her in fear that she would disappear again.

However my good mood was soured soon after as I saw Tsubomi flying in the distance one day. I hadn't given her permission to fly nor lifted her band so I went to confront her on it. I called her to come down and gave her the punishment I openly promised I would give her for disobeying this order, 'special' training. She then had the nerve to try and argue her way out of it. I told her that it wouldn't work as I told her the consequences and she chose to ignore them. I even reminded her that I went easy on her for trying to strangle me. Truthfully she had no one but herself to blame. She got very angry at this and told me what she really thinks of me. That I am some sort of awful person. I almost yelled back at her out of anger but I knew that even if I told her my reasons she wouldn't really listen or just get angry at me. So I left. I don't care. Let her think what she wants. I'm used to being hated.

To end on a lighter note, it seems that Kurumu is holding a fashion show. I was told about this by Lily Rain who was looking for models to be a part of it. Apparently she had talked to several people besides me, however I was the first person with any experience that she talked to. I agreed to be part of it in hopes that I can relieve some of the stress I've been feeling lately. Hopefully it goes well.

That is all for my monthly report.

Sincerly, Seiren Kurokawa
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(OOC)
Seiren has passed for this month.

Mission: It's Safe Now
Posts/Tags: Walkabout - Journeys Middle and End, 17th Bloom, Fourth Note | Nightmares, Phase Eight: Recrimination, Road Trip,   Fifth Note | Memories of Tragedy, This is the beginning, KamilleXSora Post, 19th Bloom, Talent Scouting
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