Short Crackfic: A Simple Solution
Crackfic: A Simple Solution
by minnow_53
Disclaimer: They were once JKR’s, but she wouldn’t recognise them now.
Pairing: R/S (implied)
Rating: G
Thanks: To astra_argentea, simply for reading it.
Now crossposted (rather excessively) to remusxsirius, hp_whatif and two_boys.
A Simple Solution
‘Where’s Remus?’ James asked, pushing open the door and peering into the Shack. ‘Damn, it’s dark in here. Lumos.’
His wand shone on the shabby downstairs room with its ruined furniture and curtains scratched to ribbons. Through the broken windowpane, he could glimpse the full moon starting to rise in the night sky.
‘Shit, what the hell is Moony playing at?’ Agitated, James dropped his wand. Peter, already transformed, rolled it back to him with his sharp little snout.
Sirius shrugged. He was looking smug, James thought. ‘What have you done, Padfoot? Is this some sort of prank?’
Sirius's expression was positively angelic. ‘But of course not, Prongs! Oh, dear, the moon’s up now.’
James instantly transformed, shaking his antlers angrily at Sirius, who remained in human form.
James had a sudden, horrible vision of Remus rushing to the Shack just a fraction too late, turning into a slavering beast on the way, breaking the door down and eating his best friends... He transformed momentarily back, to the accompaniment of Wormtail’s panicked squeaks.
‘Okay, Sirius, what’s going on? Pomfrey should have brought him in hours ago.’
Sirius put two fingers in his mouth and gave a shrill whistle.
A lemur leapt down from the top of the wardrobe. Peter scuttled behind the sofa, James shouted, ‘Bloody hell!’ and Sirius said, ‘Hey, Ringo.’
‘RINGO?’ James spluttered.
‘It’s the best I could do at short notice. He’s ring-tailed, you see.’
Indeed, the lovely golden lemur had a magnificent tail.
The graceful beast jumped into Sirius’s arms, where he lay docile as Sirius stroked the soft fur and crooned, ‘There, Ringo! That’s my boy.’
‘Merlin help us, you’ve made him into a were-lemur!’ James gulped.
Ringo lashed his tail and growled, and Sirius soothed him. ‘Stop being even more of an idiot than you already are, Prongs! Moony’s now an Animagus, and a lemur can’t transform into a wolf. Don’t you ever read up on interspecies magic law? All he’s got to do is turn into Ringo every full moon, and the wicked wolf is dead!’
‘Wicked witch,’ corrected Peter, who had transformed back with great trepidation and was now standing well away in a corner, in case Remus/Ringo suddenly spouted lethal fangs and claws after all.
‘Whatever. Anyway, Moony’s cured. Come on, let’s go for a run in the Forbidden Forest. Lemurs like to climb trees.’
‘All right,’ said James, with some trepidation. They all took on their animal forms and spent a wonderful night playing hide and seek and other favourite Animagus games.
From that time on, Remus never had to undergo the horrors of lycanthropy again.
Though he was very happy with his lemur form, he often grumbled that he hated the name Ringo. ‘I won’t answer to it,’ he snapped at Sirius one evening, which James thought a bit unfair. But Sirius simply looked upset and asked, ‘Okay, then. What d’you want to be called?’
‘Rufus,’ Remus said decisively. ‘You always say I have red highlights in my fur, Padfoot.’
James snorted out loud, but Sirius just gave a happy smile and said, ‘Rufus. I like it.’
And because this must end somewhere, we will leave the four Animagi, Rufus, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, frolicking happily in the moonlight.
End
by minnow_53
Disclaimer: They were once JKR’s, but she wouldn’t recognise them now.
Pairing: R/S (implied)
Rating: G
Thanks: To astra_argentea, simply for reading it.
Now crossposted (rather excessively) to remusxsirius, hp_whatif and two_boys.
A Simple Solution
‘Where’s Remus?’ James asked, pushing open the door and peering into the Shack. ‘Damn, it’s dark in here. Lumos.’
His wand shone on the shabby downstairs room with its ruined furniture and curtains scratched to ribbons. Through the broken windowpane, he could glimpse the full moon starting to rise in the night sky.
‘Shit, what the hell is Moony playing at?’ Agitated, James dropped his wand. Peter, already transformed, rolled it back to him with his sharp little snout.
Sirius shrugged. He was looking smug, James thought. ‘What have you done, Padfoot? Is this some sort of prank?’
Sirius's expression was positively angelic. ‘But of course not, Prongs! Oh, dear, the moon’s up now.’
James instantly transformed, shaking his antlers angrily at Sirius, who remained in human form.
James had a sudden, horrible vision of Remus rushing to the Shack just a fraction too late, turning into a slavering beast on the way, breaking the door down and eating his best friends... He transformed momentarily back, to the accompaniment of Wormtail’s panicked squeaks.
‘Okay, Sirius, what’s going on? Pomfrey should have brought him in hours ago.’
Sirius put two fingers in his mouth and gave a shrill whistle.
A lemur leapt down from the top of the wardrobe. Peter scuttled behind the sofa, James shouted, ‘Bloody hell!’ and Sirius said, ‘Hey, Ringo.’
‘RINGO?’ James spluttered.
‘It’s the best I could do at short notice. He’s ring-tailed, you see.’
Indeed, the lovely golden lemur had a magnificent tail.
The graceful beast jumped into Sirius’s arms, where he lay docile as Sirius stroked the soft fur and crooned, ‘There, Ringo! That’s my boy.’
‘Merlin help us, you’ve made him into a were-lemur!’ James gulped.
Ringo lashed his tail and growled, and Sirius soothed him. ‘Stop being even more of an idiot than you already are, Prongs! Moony’s now an Animagus, and a lemur can’t transform into a wolf. Don’t you ever read up on interspecies magic law? All he’s got to do is turn into Ringo every full moon, and the wicked wolf is dead!’
‘Wicked witch,’ corrected Peter, who had transformed back with great trepidation and was now standing well away in a corner, in case Remus/Ringo suddenly spouted lethal fangs and claws after all.
‘Whatever. Anyway, Moony’s cured. Come on, let’s go for a run in the Forbidden Forest. Lemurs like to climb trees.’
‘All right,’ said James, with some trepidation. They all took on their animal forms and spent a wonderful night playing hide and seek and other favourite Animagus games.
From that time on, Remus never had to undergo the horrors of lycanthropy again.
Though he was very happy with his lemur form, he often grumbled that he hated the name Ringo. ‘I won’t answer to it,’ he snapped at Sirius one evening, which James thought a bit unfair. But Sirius simply looked upset and asked, ‘Okay, then. What d’you want to be called?’
‘Rufus,’ Remus said decisively. ‘You always say I have red highlights in my fur, Padfoot.’
James snorted out loud, but Sirius just gave a happy smile and said, ‘Rufus. I like it.’
And because this must end somewhere, we will leave the four Animagi, Rufus, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, frolicking happily in the moonlight.
End