This Journal Is A Spoiler-Free Zone
Notes From The Bunker
My policy on spoilers is ‘No, thank you’, and I’m currently implementing a simple method to avoid them. A skip is arriving today to clear out the cellar, and I shall be hiding there until July 21st, when Book 7 comes out. My camp-bed is already made up, and I have a paraffin stove on order, which will provide me with a small flame to cook over. The cupboards are stocked with baked beans, coffee, long-life milk, and fifty litres of wine. And I haven’t forgotten matches, a corkscrew and the salt, three items frequently overlooked.
I hardly need say that all computers in the house are being shut down until August 1, to make quite sure no news of Deathly Hallows can worm its way in via the internet. The television, radio and all media are also going to be disabled and/or banned from today until further notice.
Four copies of the book will be delivered directly to the house from Amazon, and mine will be lowered to me in a basket. No child, man or cat will be allowed to speak to me until I've finished, for obvious reasons. Child One is a slightly faster reader than I am, and though she's fairly discreet, she may well blurt out, ‘Have you got to the part where Percy mates with a Dementor?’ or ‘Has Snape married Tonks yet?’ Even a kitten, peeping over someone’s shoulder, might squeak, ‘Oh, I always knew Petunia was really a witch.’
I'll have to abandon my hideout from time to time to go to the loo or have a bath. On those occasions, I'll wear two sets of earplugs and an eye-mask, so I neither hear nor see anything that might spoil me: for instance, someone might have sneaked in a paper by accident, and this paper may have been left in the bathroom, giving me an eyeful of headlines like ‘Exclusive: Harry Dies, Remus Comes Out, James Loves Lily Evans!’ I’m considering full body armour, just for good measure, but that's quite hard to get hold of.
These precautions should be sufficient to ensure that I know absolutely nothing about the book in advance. But I bet that somehow, someone will manage to let slip the main event, whatever it is... :(
My policy on spoilers is ‘No, thank you’, and I’m currently implementing a simple method to avoid them. A skip is arriving today to clear out the cellar, and I shall be hiding there until July 21st, when Book 7 comes out. My camp-bed is already made up, and I have a paraffin stove on order, which will provide me with a small flame to cook over. The cupboards are stocked with baked beans, coffee, long-life milk, and fifty litres of wine. And I haven’t forgotten matches, a corkscrew and the salt, three items frequently overlooked.
I hardly need say that all computers in the house are being shut down until August 1, to make quite sure no news of Deathly Hallows can worm its way in via the internet. The television, radio and all media are also going to be disabled and/or banned from today until further notice.
Four copies of the book will be delivered directly to the house from Amazon, and mine will be lowered to me in a basket. No child, man or cat will be allowed to speak to me until I've finished, for obvious reasons. Child One is a slightly faster reader than I am, and though she's fairly discreet, she may well blurt out, ‘Have you got to the part where Percy mates with a Dementor?’ or ‘Has Snape married Tonks yet?’ Even a kitten, peeping over someone’s shoulder, might squeak, ‘Oh, I always knew Petunia was really a witch.’
I'll have to abandon my hideout from time to time to go to the loo or have a bath. On those occasions, I'll wear two sets of earplugs and an eye-mask, so I neither hear nor see anything that might spoil me: for instance, someone might have sneaked in a paper by accident, and this paper may have been left in the bathroom, giving me an eyeful of headlines like ‘Exclusive: Harry Dies, Remus Comes Out, James Loves Lily Evans!’ I’m considering full body armour, just for good measure, but that's quite hard to get hold of.
These precautions should be sufficient to ensure that I know absolutely nothing about the book in advance. But I bet that somehow, someone will manage to let slip the main event, whatever it is... :(