Replying To Reviews: An Idiot's Guide
Replying To Reviews: An Idiot's Guide
minnow_53
A/N: With all the controversy about reviews and comments at the moment, I decided to jump in with some advice of my own. Hope it will be helpful!
Confused by comments? Frantic about feedback? Here's a modest little crack guide to the rights and wrongs of replying to your critics and admirers!
Now crossposted to deathly_lollows. And it's on metafandom! *does happy metafandom dance*
Replying To Reviews: An Idiot's Guide
You’ve written a fic and posted it. You go to your inbox the next morning and it says, ‘Welcome, Username! You have 0 unread messages.’
Well, that does happen, but for the purposes of this piece, you go to your inbox and find that a few people have read (you hope!) your fic and left a comment. These comments range from, ‘This is the best fic ever in the history of the world’ to ‘How can you write such rubbish?’ with a full spectrum of reactions in between.
Before you do anything, you need a cup of coffee, so you can reply to all these conflicting messages with a clear mind. Then, you need to consult this guide for the most appropriate response in the circumstance.
Negative Feedback
These are comments from people who don't like your story, and you have to show some restraint in answering them.
Anonymous Comment: You sick fuck!
Wrong Answer: Oh, dear, yes, I am. I abase myself before you, O anonymous commenter.
Right Answer: I hope you die in agony, friendless and alone, bitch. I’m deleting your stupid comment. But I’ve noted your IP number, and I will hunt you down and torment you until the end of your days.
Comment: Oh, I hate fics where Remus and Sirius don’t end up together! Why did you do that? Can’t you change the ending?
Wrong answer: I did it because I’m a total sadist and I love to make people suffer. If I changed the ending it would be even worse: Sirius would get rickets, and Remus would end up stuck in wolf form forever.
Right answer: I’m sorry! Next time, there’ll be a happy ending, though I’m not going to change this one.
*
Concrit
Concrit expects you to do something, like go into edit mode and put in full stops and so on. But you also need to make sure your commenters know you're acting on their advice.
Comment: Ur fic is full of typo’s. You wrote ‘Doubledare’s bored’ instead of ‘Dumbledore’s beard’.
Wrong Answer: Oh, God, no! I’m going to kill my beta, and then I’m going to kill myself!
Right Answer: Thank you very much for pointing that out! I’ll correct it straight away.
Comment: Great fic, but I’m a bit confused. You said ‘Remus drew away from him’, but the next minute Remus and Sirius seem to be having it off together.
Wrong Answer: Shit!
Right Answer: Yes, I accidentally deleted a couple of sentences in which Sirius lassos Remus with his Gryffindor scarf, drags him up to the dorm, ties him to the bed and has his way with him. I’ve now replaced the missing section.
Comment: I really liked the scene where Remus and Sirius go to see the pyramids, but I didn’t quite understand how they got the camel to let go of the diamond.
Wrong Answer: Well, in that case you weren’t reading the damn fic properly, because there is a full paragraph describing the spell they used, how Sirius cast it, his wand movements, Remus’s wand movements, and how many times they kissed before using said spell.
Right answer: I can see that was a bit hard to understand! Sirius says ‘Expelliarmus!’ and the diamond flies out of the camel’s mouth into his hand. I’m going to change that part to make it clearer.
*
Favourable Feedback
Pleasant reviews obviously allow more flexibility: once you’ve said ‘Thank you’, the sky’s the limit. Some comments are very short, some very long, but they’re all basically along the lines that the fic has gone down well.
Comment: Ha, ha. (Or, Lol! :D)
Wrong answer: But...but, this was an angsty story! Sirius goes off with a girl at the end and Remus is left totally bereft! The final scene, in which he vomits into a ditch outside Hogsmeade, is meant to underline his shame and self-loathing.
Right answer: Thank you! I’m glad you found it amusing.
Comment: I hope you won’t mind if I take a few minutes to discuss the way you drew Grawp’s character. Yes, I’ve always thought that he would show elements of Hagrid, but you made a wonderful job of underlining their common background...
Wrong answer: Grawp? WTF are you talking about?
Right answer: Thank you! Yes, though Grawp wasn’t actually in this story, I’m really delighted you found him convincing: some people, including JKR, actually, don’t perhaps allow enough for his humanity...
Comment: Oh, I adored your fic with all my heart and soul! I think that Shakespeare will certainly have to cede his crown to you after this one. When Sirius and Remus showed Peter how to tie a knot my heart nearly burst with joy.
Wrong answer: Thank you, Mum! ♥
Right answer: Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
*
Neutral/Ambivalent Feedback
This isn't wildly enthusiastic, but there's no point sulking about it! Any comment is better than no comment, after all.
Comment: This was okay.
Wrong answer: What d’you mean, ‘okay’? I slogged my guts out writing it, you ungrateful swine!
Right answer: Thank you.
Comment: I really enjoyed this, though I wasn’t sure about a couple of plot-points. In canon, James marries Lily, not the Giant Squid, and though I loved the wedding-scene, I think you should have labelled the fic an AU.
Wrong answer: Think you’re JKR or something? Don’t tell me about canon, punk! If I say James married the Squid, he married the effing Squid.
Right answer: Well, canon can be interpreted in so many ways, can’t it? I’m glad you enjoyed the fic all the same, and I’ll go and add an AU label right away.
*
I hope this brief but comprehensive guide will be useful to you all in future! Obviously, it’s not possible to cover every type of feedback, but this should give most fic-writers a reasonable idea of how to approach that inbox in the morning. Just keep those comments rolling in, won't you? :D
*
Appendix: Readers’ Queries
1. lyras reminded me about comments with links. I'm sure we've all had those!
Comment: Hi! I liked your fic, and here's a link to mine. Plz to read and give feedback.
Wrong Answer: I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty scalpel.
Right Answer: Hey, that's so cool! I can't wait to read it.
*
2. snegurochka_lee asks how one replies to feedback of the ‘Oh, Remus!’ variety.
Wrong answer: Oh, Remus what? *annoyed*
Right Answer: Oh, Username...
*
3. pharrezychica is curious about comments with quotes.
Comment: Sirius takes the tiny Kneazle and whispers, ‘I will call you Frodo.’
Dude, that was cute! I hope we’ll see more of Frodo in future. &hearts
Wrong answer: Oops! I forgot all about Frodo the tiny Kneazle, and at this very second he’s freezing to death in the Forbidden Forest, cold and terrified...
Right Answer: Thank you! I’m already planning a whole series with Frodo and his brothers.
~fin~
minnow_53
A/N: With all the controversy about reviews and comments at the moment, I decided to jump in with some advice of my own. Hope it will be helpful!
Confused by comments? Frantic about feedback? Here's a modest little crack guide to the rights and wrongs of replying to your critics and admirers!
Now crossposted to deathly_lollows. And it's on metafandom! *does happy metafandom dance*
Replying To Reviews: An Idiot's Guide
You’ve written a fic and posted it. You go to your inbox the next morning and it says, ‘Welcome, Username! You have 0 unread messages.’
Well, that does happen, but for the purposes of this piece, you go to your inbox and find that a few people have read (you hope!) your fic and left a comment. These comments range from, ‘This is the best fic ever in the history of the world’ to ‘How can you write such rubbish?’ with a full spectrum of reactions in between.
Before you do anything, you need a cup of coffee, so you can reply to all these conflicting messages with a clear mind. Then, you need to consult this guide for the most appropriate response in the circumstance.
Negative Feedback
These are comments from people who don't like your story, and you have to show some restraint in answering them.
Anonymous Comment: You sick fuck!
Wrong Answer: Oh, dear, yes, I am. I abase myself before you, O anonymous commenter.
Right Answer: I hope you die in agony, friendless and alone, bitch. I’m deleting your stupid comment. But I’ve noted your IP number, and I will hunt you down and torment you until the end of your days.
Comment: Oh, I hate fics where Remus and Sirius don’t end up together! Why did you do that? Can’t you change the ending?
Wrong answer: I did it because I’m a total sadist and I love to make people suffer. If I changed the ending it would be even worse: Sirius would get rickets, and Remus would end up stuck in wolf form forever.
Right answer: I’m sorry! Next time, there’ll be a happy ending, though I’m not going to change this one.
*
Concrit
Concrit expects you to do something, like go into edit mode and put in full stops and so on. But you also need to make sure your commenters know you're acting on their advice.
Comment: Ur fic is full of typo’s. You wrote ‘Doubledare’s bored’ instead of ‘Dumbledore’s beard’.
Wrong Answer: Oh, God, no! I’m going to kill my beta, and then I’m going to kill myself!
Right Answer: Thank you very much for pointing that out! I’ll correct it straight away.
Comment: Great fic, but I’m a bit confused. You said ‘Remus drew away from him’, but the next minute Remus and Sirius seem to be having it off together.
Wrong Answer: Shit!
Right Answer: Yes, I accidentally deleted a couple of sentences in which Sirius lassos Remus with his Gryffindor scarf, drags him up to the dorm, ties him to the bed and has his way with him. I’ve now replaced the missing section.
Comment: I really liked the scene where Remus and Sirius go to see the pyramids, but I didn’t quite understand how they got the camel to let go of the diamond.
Wrong Answer: Well, in that case you weren’t reading the damn fic properly, because there is a full paragraph describing the spell they used, how Sirius cast it, his wand movements, Remus’s wand movements, and how many times they kissed before using said spell.
Right answer: I can see that was a bit hard to understand! Sirius says ‘Expelliarmus!’ and the diamond flies out of the camel’s mouth into his hand. I’m going to change that part to make it clearer.
*
Favourable Feedback
Pleasant reviews obviously allow more flexibility: once you’ve said ‘Thank you’, the sky’s the limit. Some comments are very short, some very long, but they’re all basically along the lines that the fic has gone down well.
Comment: Ha, ha. (Or, Lol! :D)
Wrong answer: But...but, this was an angsty story! Sirius goes off with a girl at the end and Remus is left totally bereft! The final scene, in which he vomits into a ditch outside Hogsmeade, is meant to underline his shame and self-loathing.
Right answer: Thank you! I’m glad you found it amusing.
Comment: I hope you won’t mind if I take a few minutes to discuss the way you drew Grawp’s character. Yes, I’ve always thought that he would show elements of Hagrid, but you made a wonderful job of underlining their common background...
Wrong answer: Grawp? WTF are you talking about?
Right answer: Thank you! Yes, though Grawp wasn’t actually in this story, I’m really delighted you found him convincing: some people, including JKR, actually, don’t perhaps allow enough for his humanity...
Comment: Oh, I adored your fic with all my heart and soul! I think that Shakespeare will certainly have to cede his crown to you after this one. When Sirius and Remus showed Peter how to tie a knot my heart nearly burst with joy.
Wrong answer: Thank you, Mum! ♥
Right answer: Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
*
Neutral/Ambivalent Feedback
This isn't wildly enthusiastic, but there's no point sulking about it! Any comment is better than no comment, after all.
Comment: This was okay.
Wrong answer: What d’you mean, ‘okay’? I slogged my guts out writing it, you ungrateful swine!
Right answer: Thank you.
Comment: I really enjoyed this, though I wasn’t sure about a couple of plot-points. In canon, James marries Lily, not the Giant Squid, and though I loved the wedding-scene, I think you should have labelled the fic an AU.
Wrong answer: Think you’re JKR or something? Don’t tell me about canon, punk! If I say James married the Squid, he married the effing Squid.
Right answer: Well, canon can be interpreted in so many ways, can’t it? I’m glad you enjoyed the fic all the same, and I’ll go and add an AU label right away.
*
I hope this brief but comprehensive guide will be useful to you all in future! Obviously, it’s not possible to cover every type of feedback, but this should give most fic-writers a reasonable idea of how to approach that inbox in the morning. Just keep those comments rolling in, won't you? :D
*
Appendix: Readers’ Queries
1. lyras reminded me about comments with links. I'm sure we've all had those!
Comment: Hi! I liked your fic, and here's a link to mine. Plz to read and give feedback.
Wrong Answer: I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty scalpel.
Right Answer: Hey, that's so cool! I can't wait to read it.
*
2. snegurochka_lee asks how one replies to feedback of the ‘Oh, Remus!’ variety.
Wrong answer: Oh, Remus what? *annoyed*
Right Answer: Oh, Username...
*
3. pharrezychica is curious about comments with quotes.
Comment: Sirius takes the tiny Kneazle and whispers, ‘I will call you Frodo.’
Dude, that was cute! I hope we’ll see more of Frodo in future. &hearts
Wrong answer: Oops! I forgot all about Frodo the tiny Kneazle, and at this very second he’s freezing to death in the Forbidden Forest, cold and terrified...
Right Answer: Thank you! I’m already planning a whole series with Frodo and his brothers.
~fin~