The Past
I forgot when was the last time the five of us hung out, and I never realized how much I've missed them till just now. It's been five years since we graduated from Secondary School, and we have all grown so much. The juxtaposition of the us now and the us in the past is quite stark. They have all grown so much more beautiful and our conversation topics have vastly changed as well. We are now at the stage where we talk about marriage, our future jobs, our university lives and yadda yadda, but when we were so much younger, the topic that was always brought up was JC/Poly or the little petty gossips circling in school. There is inevitably still a little gap between us all, but friendships don't grow awkward no matter how long the entire group hasn't met up. It felt good to be talking to them and reminiscing about the past. It made me realize how much I've grown and it was the first time in many years that I actually stopped in my tracks, and looked back at what happened so many years back. Secondary school was great for me, but there were many unpleasant memories that I wish not to recall too (mainly the relationships part. They totally screwed me over). I suppose the most valuable things that I've brought away with me were these strong friendships and a changed and matured me. It would be great if we could meet up often to talk and gossip more, and perhaps have a stayover and do some serious HTHTs.
I realized that in the course of dumping my past behind me because of the many bad experiences, I forgot that it was these experiences that have changed me into the person that I am now. I am always embarrassed about my past, partly because I was so stupid and foolish back then that the current me cannot take it. I think sometimes we try too hard to change and be an entirely different and better person from the bad character from the past that we sometimes overlook the fact that we need to remember about the past in order to become better. It is inadvertently a part of us, and we need to look back at the past as a reminder to never become someone like that again. I do realize that when we try so hard to become better persons, we thought we have become better, but actually we've become like ourselves in the past, just that it's an advanced or subtle version.
Anyway, I've always thought that nobody reads my blog, so I usually just blog whatever I want and whatever rubbish thoughts I have. But recently, I realized that people do read my blog (AMANDA) and I'm like THE SHITTTTTTT~ *Secretly worries what she thinks about me behind my back* Hahahaha.
I realized that in the course of dumping my past behind me because of the many bad experiences, I forgot that it was these experiences that have changed me into the person that I am now. I am always embarrassed about my past, partly because I was so stupid and foolish back then that the current me cannot take it. I think sometimes we try too hard to change and be an entirely different and better person from the bad character from the past that we sometimes overlook the fact that we need to remember about the past in order to become better. It is inadvertently a part of us, and we need to look back at the past as a reminder to never become someone like that again. I do realize that when we try so hard to become better persons, we thought we have become better, but actually we've become like ourselves in the past, just that it's an advanced or subtle version.
Anyway, I've always thought that nobody reads my blog, so I usually just blog whatever I want and whatever rubbish thoughts I have. But recently, I realized that people do read my blog (AMANDA) and I'm like THE SHITTTTTTT~ *Secretly worries what she thinks about me behind my back* Hahahaha.