I can't believe i'm back here again
Well what has changed since my last entry.
I have a job at a pub
I have a wonderful boyfriend
I am so much healthier now
I dont care about food at all
I have some really fun friends
I am baby sitting
Still at uni lol
BUT most importantly
I AM 52kgs!!!!!!!!!!
That means a total loss of 19 kgs.
I should be happy and i am to some extent but there is still something in the back of my mind that says to me, come on you can do more. But the boyfriend is constantly on my back about eating and getting too thin (he is kidding right - nowhere near too thin) Anyways i dont think i can totally leave this way of life that has been keeping me going long before him for the last 6 years or so...
I am thinking of setting realistic goals now. I was finally game enough to get on the scales the other day for the first time in gosh almost a year and when i saw 53 i thought yes thankfully my time has come, i was so used to seeing numbers starting with a 6_ something that i nearly fell over. Since then all i can think about is loosing more and more. I got to 52 in a few days - with no one really noticing. I still ate a bit (i'm not a big eater anymore) in front of people, but i up'd my running around. Instead of doing monday and tuesdays chores seperately i did them all in the one day and then cleaned the house from top to bottom. Plus everytime i go into the bathroom i do squats and star jumps and all sorts of silly things hoping to get the metabolism working.
I wanna get to 51kgs - that has always been my short term goal. I dont see why that should change now at all. I think it is best to take this slowly so no-one notices this time. And i dont wanna freak the boyfriend out too much. But he wants to have babies and keeps telling me that we should soon. Its freaking me out a tad and i'm thinking that is why i am running back here again. I really did think that i had turned a corner and was over all this crap. Clearly, i was wrong. His parents are coming up today so this should be interesting to see how it goes.
Updates will come soon. I need to write this down otherwise i feel like i might burst! I can feel the control slipping and i can't stand it...
I have a job at a pub
I have a wonderful boyfriend
I am so much healthier now
I dont care about food at all
I have some really fun friends
I am baby sitting
Still at uni lol
BUT most importantly
I AM 52kgs!!!!!!!!!!
That means a total loss of 19 kgs.
I should be happy and i am to some extent but there is still something in the back of my mind that says to me, come on you can do more. But the boyfriend is constantly on my back about eating and getting too thin (he is kidding right - nowhere near too thin) Anyways i dont think i can totally leave this way of life that has been keeping me going long before him for the last 6 years or so...
I am thinking of setting realistic goals now. I was finally game enough to get on the scales the other day for the first time in gosh almost a year and when i saw 53 i thought yes thankfully my time has come, i was so used to seeing numbers starting with a 6_ something that i nearly fell over. Since then all i can think about is loosing more and more. I got to 52 in a few days - with no one really noticing. I still ate a bit (i'm not a big eater anymore) in front of people, but i up'd my running around. Instead of doing monday and tuesdays chores seperately i did them all in the one day and then cleaned the house from top to bottom. Plus everytime i go into the bathroom i do squats and star jumps and all sorts of silly things hoping to get the metabolism working.
I wanna get to 51kgs - that has always been my short term goal. I dont see why that should change now at all. I think it is best to take this slowly so no-one notices this time. And i dont wanna freak the boyfriend out too much. But he wants to have babies and keeps telling me that we should soon. Its freaking me out a tad and i'm thinking that is why i am running back here again. I really did think that i had turned a corner and was over all this crap. Clearly, i was wrong. His parents are coming up today so this should be interesting to see how it goes.
Updates will come soon. I need to write this down otherwise i feel like i might burst! I can feel the control slipping and i can't stand it...