Dream time!
I had a dream the other night that I was pregnant and was walking along the street with my Mom. I was perturbed because I wasnt big in the belly like other women get, I thought specifically about a girl in my division who is big as a house right now, and also about my MLI who is on convelessance leave right now, as there are problems with her pregnancy. I knew it was almost time for me to have my baby, so it bothered me that I wasnt big. But Sari told me that I was lucky and it would be easy to get my figute back.
I was walking and we were outside of McKenzie Willamette hospital, and I knew that it was time. I wasnt going to have my baby in the hospital... I guess that was predetermined, cause I could have easily walked into the hospital, but no, I sat down right there on the side walk. My mommy was going to deliver my baby... I knew that this was how it was supposed to be... So there I am, naked and on the ground... with just a slight bit of buldge to my belly... with my mom on the recieving end of an unborn baby. I knew it was time to give birth, but I just couldnt. Sari told me to push, and tried to help me through Lamaze... but i wasnt having contractions, I wasnt out of breath, I wasnt in any pain. Everyonce in a while thered be a rumble in my belly, like i was really hungry, but i knew it was the baby. Mom kept saying " c'mon, minna. Its okay, you can do it."
I just laid there tho. Finally mom concluded that it was stage fright, and she crossed the street to the park. As soon as she left I reached my hand down and felt the fuzzy little crown of a head coming out of my body. I wanted to call my mom back, but as I thought about it, the head started to go back in... so I knew that it was ment to happen alone. I wanted sari there too, but she had dissapeared. I reached my hand down and rubbed the top of the head that was coming out and all of a sudden it just happened. I had a baby boy in my hands. I lifted it to my chest to look at it, and there in my hands sat something that brought me more joy than i have ever experienced in or out of a dream... it was a terribly deformed little boy. His head was twice the size of his body and shaped like a bean. His head was covered with dark hair, and his eyes were huge and shone the brightest green, he was realisticly dirty, in the same way that all newborns are, but i was clean, and in no pain. I held him and looked at him, His beautiful black hair and little body, His striking green eyes. I loved him so much. I have never known such a wonderful feeling... tho i knew he was deformed, his small little body that fit in one hand.... I loved him more than ive ever loved anything. I felt more pride and love and happiness than i could have ever imagined. This was my baby boy, and he was suddenly the most important and wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. I told him that i was his mommy, and that i loved him so, and nothing would ever happen to him. Hed be loved forever. I cried and held him and loved him.
The rest of the dream seemed really unimportant after the intense feelings i felt at having my first baby, but heres what i recall anyhoo...
I wanted to show my mommy and sari. I wanted to share him with the world... but first i had to register it with the hospital. I walked in, and started looking for my mom. The place looked more like an amusement park than a hospital. I had to stand in a long winding line to register my boy. I cut ahead of some people and spoke to a service person at a computer. I could read over his (or her?) shoulder as she typed. She was looking for my moms name on a list so she could register us as having had a child. The list corresponded with this giant pillar of monkeys, totem style, in the center of the room that would rise and fall as the server scrolled the list in the computer. I saw my moms name on one of the monkeys, but couldnt find one to correspond with the list. I showed the lady but the name had dissapeard from the monkye. How sad.
I really have no recolection after that. I had my baby tho, and that seemed the most important.
When I woke up I felt around me for my baby, to hold him, and look at him, and love him. It was the greatest feeling of sorrow i have ever known to have him not be there.
What an odd dream.
I was walking and we were outside of McKenzie Willamette hospital, and I knew that it was time. I wasnt going to have my baby in the hospital... I guess that was predetermined, cause I could have easily walked into the hospital, but no, I sat down right there on the side walk. My mommy was going to deliver my baby... I knew that this was how it was supposed to be... So there I am, naked and on the ground... with just a slight bit of buldge to my belly... with my mom on the recieving end of an unborn baby. I knew it was time to give birth, but I just couldnt. Sari told me to push, and tried to help me through Lamaze... but i wasnt having contractions, I wasnt out of breath, I wasnt in any pain. Everyonce in a while thered be a rumble in my belly, like i was really hungry, but i knew it was the baby. Mom kept saying " c'mon, minna. Its okay, you can do it."
I just laid there tho. Finally mom concluded that it was stage fright, and she crossed the street to the park. As soon as she left I reached my hand down and felt the fuzzy little crown of a head coming out of my body. I wanted to call my mom back, but as I thought about it, the head started to go back in... so I knew that it was ment to happen alone. I wanted sari there too, but she had dissapeared. I reached my hand down and rubbed the top of the head that was coming out and all of a sudden it just happened. I had a baby boy in my hands. I lifted it to my chest to look at it, and there in my hands sat something that brought me more joy than i have ever experienced in or out of a dream... it was a terribly deformed little boy. His head was twice the size of his body and shaped like a bean. His head was covered with dark hair, and his eyes were huge and shone the brightest green, he was realisticly dirty, in the same way that all newborns are, but i was clean, and in no pain. I held him and looked at him, His beautiful black hair and little body, His striking green eyes. I loved him so much. I have never known such a wonderful feeling... tho i knew he was deformed, his small little body that fit in one hand.... I loved him more than ive ever loved anything. I felt more pride and love and happiness than i could have ever imagined. This was my baby boy, and he was suddenly the most important and wonderful thing that had ever happened to me. I told him that i was his mommy, and that i loved him so, and nothing would ever happen to him. Hed be loved forever. I cried and held him and loved him.
The rest of the dream seemed really unimportant after the intense feelings i felt at having my first baby, but heres what i recall anyhoo...
I wanted to show my mommy and sari. I wanted to share him with the world... but first i had to register it with the hospital. I walked in, and started looking for my mom. The place looked more like an amusement park than a hospital. I had to stand in a long winding line to register my boy. I cut ahead of some people and spoke to a service person at a computer. I could read over his (or her?) shoulder as she typed. She was looking for my moms name on a list so she could register us as having had a child. The list corresponded with this giant pillar of monkeys, totem style, in the center of the room that would rise and fall as the server scrolled the list in the computer. I saw my moms name on one of the monkeys, but couldnt find one to correspond with the list. I showed the lady but the name had dissapeard from the monkye. How sad.
I really have no recolection after that. I had my baby tho, and that seemed the most important.
When I woke up I felt around me for my baby, to hold him, and look at him, and love him. It was the greatest feeling of sorrow i have ever known to have him not be there.
What an odd dream.