Fuck my life day.
Tentative spring schedule for my own reference purposes:
PSYC 386 Psychology of Eating Disorders Tuesday-Thursday 11am-12:15pm
(I've taken it before and it won't count towards graduation hours, but I want a better grade real bad)
SOC 215 The Family Tuesday-Thursday 12:30pm-1:45pm
PSYC 383 The Psychology of Spirituality Thursday 2:00pm-4:30pm
PSYC 200 Intro to Stats (groan) Tuesday 6:00pm-8:30pm
SOC 381-10 Drugs Alcohol and Society Monday 6:00pm-8:30pm
Also. Why does today have to seem so awesome and then suck so fucking bad? I got A's on every midterm. Then one of my best friends decides, oh, we're not friends anymore. It doesn't really help this overwhelming sense of abandonment and inadequecy I've been feeling lately.
Now I have to have someone over when I do not feel like hanging out with anyone. Especially someone I'm supposed to be cheering up. I'm in an awful, depressed mood and I want to sit in my room all night and get high ALONE and not have to worry about how anyone else feels.
It sounds so selfish, I know. But I have way too much going on in my own head to be having other people make me feel insignificant. I'm tired of self-involved people and I'm tired of getting sucked into being self-involved from time to time, but this is one of those times. I just want to do what I want and be self-centered and make myself feel better and not give a shit about how you feel.
I don't do well with rejection and loss and especially not right now. I don't have anyone to give me advice on certain things anymore, I have no one to rant at for two hours about something all my other friends would get tired of, and I lost a really great friend who thinks I'm amazing and always made me feel better about myself in the most retarded situation. Not being my friend is not going to salvage your relationship.
I'm so tired. I don't want to hang out with anyone, I just want to eat and get high and avoid homework and go to sleep early. Fuuuck. Life is so fucking mean. My life lately is just giving and taking in the cruelest ways. Who cares if I have good grades if I lost one of my best friends and no one loves me?
I laid my cards on the table, and I lost. As usual. I don't care how self-pitying and self-centered I sound, I really don't. I just want today to be fucking over.
PSYC 386 Psychology of Eating Disorders Tuesday-Thursday 11am-12:15pm
(I've taken it before and it won't count towards graduation hours, but I want a better grade real bad)
SOC 215 The Family Tuesday-Thursday 12:30pm-1:45pm
PSYC 383 The Psychology of Spirituality Thursday 2:00pm-4:30pm
PSYC 200 Intro to Stats (groan) Tuesday 6:00pm-8:30pm
SOC 381-10 Drugs Alcohol and Society Monday 6:00pm-8:30pm
Also. Why does today have to seem so awesome and then suck so fucking bad? I got A's on every midterm. Then one of my best friends decides, oh, we're not friends anymore. It doesn't really help this overwhelming sense of abandonment and inadequecy I've been feeling lately.
Now I have to have someone over when I do not feel like hanging out with anyone. Especially someone I'm supposed to be cheering up. I'm in an awful, depressed mood and I want to sit in my room all night and get high ALONE and not have to worry about how anyone else feels.
It sounds so selfish, I know. But I have way too much going on in my own head to be having other people make me feel insignificant. I'm tired of self-involved people and I'm tired of getting sucked into being self-involved from time to time, but this is one of those times. I just want to do what I want and be self-centered and make myself feel better and not give a shit about how you feel.
I don't do well with rejection and loss and especially not right now. I don't have anyone to give me advice on certain things anymore, I have no one to rant at for two hours about something all my other friends would get tired of, and I lost a really great friend who thinks I'm amazing and always made me feel better about myself in the most retarded situation. Not being my friend is not going to salvage your relationship.
I'm so tired. I don't want to hang out with anyone, I just want to eat and get high and avoid homework and go to sleep early. Fuuuck. Life is so fucking mean. My life lately is just giving and taking in the cruelest ways. Who cares if I have good grades if I lost one of my best friends and no one loves me?
I laid my cards on the table, and I lost. As usual. I don't care how self-pitying and self-centered I sound, I really don't. I just want today to be fucking over.