Only meee!
Hiya guys, long time no wibble.
So, they did say that the side effects of the treatment would get worse towards the end. And They Spoke Truly. Bastards. Smug medical bastards, just because they were right they don’t have to keep saying it, and it doesn’t make it better either. “We *did* tell you it would get worse at the end.” Thanks so much, my confidence increases every time you say that - WANKER!
Two more Rad Zaps next week, and then that bit is over.
So, radiation burns on the skin - actually suppurating blisters now - in three places. Let me tell you that aside from the novelty value, there isn’t much to recommend here. They itch like crazy too, and although I can stay away in the day, I keep waking up in the night scratching like mad. Nic suggested tying my hands to the headboard of my bed, but honestly, I don’t much feel like having nookie at the moment. *g*
The tiredness is out of order too. I speak from the perspective of couch-lover. My standard operating position is lying on the couch, but it’s a whole other thing when you *have* to. Limbs feel like string, knees really want to bend the wrong way, lifting large cocktails is beyond me! I resorted for the first time today of asking some friends of Mum’s who live round the corner to get a bit of shopping in for me - Nic was at work and Rik is with his woobie. I’m relying so much on the boys right now that I hate having to ask them for anything. Said pals of Mum did shopping, and promised not to tell her. She worries *far* too much.
She went back to Cornwall a few days ago, a couple of days after my last Chemo (and thank fuck that is over), so I was able to drop my stoicism levels by about 50%. She’ll be back up in a couple of weeks for the next terrifying medical procedure, which has me so paralysed with fear that I can’t even type about it. I’m scared to death. Waa!
Oh, and my digestive system is still doing the masochism tango. I went through a couple of days where I just didn’t want to eat, which was so OOC that the boys wanted to call the doctor. The kept making appetising meals and wafting them under my nose. You know, and then jerking them away and shoving me a bucket instead, which *really* should have clued them in.
But my hair is staying firmly stuck to my head, so that’s cool. I keep buying it expensive products as a reward for being good, but I must say the people who sell ‘Zero’ frizz need to work on their maths!
So yeah, two more zaps, a bunch of scans and then the awful evil. Does this seem to have been going on for a really long time? ::sigh::
Honest truth guys, I'm really worn out and a little bit sad.
Here’s another bitch, I can’t concentrate to read for any length of time. That is a first for me, and I’m reduced to channel hopping by the hour, which is a thankless process given the dearth of good telly. I’m also brit-picking a long HP story or two for someone, so I’m doing it a chapter at a time, and just hoping I’m not missing anything.
On another note, I am fucking outraged by the pictures of Saddam Hussein which appeared in The Scum today. The editor tried to justify it by saying “He’s a bastard”. So fucking what? It’s not about that you rights-violating fuckwad, it’s about us and how we behave. Sickening, shameful and wrong.
I’m on tenterhooks as the finale of CSI is downloading at such a slow speed that it will be next sodding Tuesday before I get to see it at this rate. I’m totally fraught, and really need to see it now. It’s slow because Nic is d/l a whole bunch of whatever-it-is and using up all the bandwidth. I am being very honourable though, and didn’t switch off his downloads while he was at work, but I’m probably not beyond begging for some single-user access when he gets home tonight. Nickyyyyyy!
Also to wish the happiest of birthdays to the ever lovely obsessedmuch. My biggest shiny hugs and luvvles baby-doll. Mwah!
So, they did say that the side effects of the treatment would get worse towards the end. And They Spoke Truly. Bastards. Smug medical bastards, just because they were right they don’t have to keep saying it, and it doesn’t make it better either. “We *did* tell you it would get worse at the end.” Thanks so much, my confidence increases every time you say that - WANKER!
Two more Rad Zaps next week, and then that bit is over.
So, radiation burns on the skin - actually suppurating blisters now - in three places. Let me tell you that aside from the novelty value, there isn’t much to recommend here. They itch like crazy too, and although I can stay away in the day, I keep waking up in the night scratching like mad. Nic suggested tying my hands to the headboard of my bed, but honestly, I don’t much feel like having nookie at the moment. *g*
The tiredness is out of order too. I speak from the perspective of couch-lover. My standard operating position is lying on the couch, but it’s a whole other thing when you *have* to. Limbs feel like string, knees really want to bend the wrong way, lifting large cocktails is beyond me! I resorted for the first time today of asking some friends of Mum’s who live round the corner to get a bit of shopping in for me - Nic was at work and Rik is with his woobie. I’m relying so much on the boys right now that I hate having to ask them for anything. Said pals of Mum did shopping, and promised not to tell her. She worries *far* too much.
She went back to Cornwall a few days ago, a couple of days after my last Chemo (and thank fuck that is over), so I was able to drop my stoicism levels by about 50%. She’ll be back up in a couple of weeks for the next terrifying medical procedure, which has me so paralysed with fear that I can’t even type about it. I’m scared to death. Waa!
Oh, and my digestive system is still doing the masochism tango. I went through a couple of days where I just didn’t want to eat, which was so OOC that the boys wanted to call the doctor. The kept making appetising meals and wafting them under my nose. You know, and then jerking them away and shoving me a bucket instead, which *really* should have clued them in.
But my hair is staying firmly stuck to my head, so that’s cool. I keep buying it expensive products as a reward for being good, but I must say the people who sell ‘Zero’ frizz need to work on their maths!
So yeah, two more zaps, a bunch of scans and then the awful evil. Does this seem to have been going on for a really long time? ::sigh::
Honest truth guys, I'm really worn out and a little bit sad.
Here’s another bitch, I can’t concentrate to read for any length of time. That is a first for me, and I’m reduced to channel hopping by the hour, which is a thankless process given the dearth of good telly. I’m also brit-picking a long HP story or two for someone, so I’m doing it a chapter at a time, and just hoping I’m not missing anything.
On another note, I am fucking outraged by the pictures of Saddam Hussein which appeared in The Scum today. The editor tried to justify it by saying “He’s a bastard”. So fucking what? It’s not about that you rights-violating fuckwad, it’s about us and how we behave. Sickening, shameful and wrong.
I’m on tenterhooks as the finale of CSI is downloading at such a slow speed that it will be next sodding Tuesday before I get to see it at this rate. I’m totally fraught, and really need to see it now. It’s slow because Nic is d/l a whole bunch of whatever-it-is and using up all the bandwidth. I am being very honourable though, and didn’t switch off his downloads while he was at work, but I’m probably not beyond begging for some single-user access when he gets home tonight. Nickyyyyyy!
Also to wish the happiest of birthdays to the ever lovely obsessedmuch. My biggest shiny hugs and luvvles baby-doll. Mwah!