Day 102: You and your old man Kung-Fu
Last Saturday, I went to quantumanomaly's "over the hill" party. His dojo is a straight shot from the zoo, so whenever one of the lemurs makes a break for it, they head there for shelter from the authorities. While we were meleeing for cheese-filled sausages, it came out that I had completely spaced about Sakura-Con, to which he was planning to chaperone his apprentice. I begged my superiors for permission, but they insisted it was too risky to allow me to attend this year, some ca-ca about "not enough discipline". What! Ever! I asked to see John's sword collection up close, since they were too high on the wall for me to reach (and to be respectful, of course), but he said there were too many untrained runts scurrying about, and one of them might end up with a limb sliced off. Duh, that's kinda the whole point, I replied. But he didn't want to upset any of the parents, since they are keeping him well stocked with tequila. Can't argue with that. There was one guy there though, that my old man looked like he wouldn't mind dicing up. Problem was, the guy was Middle Eastern -- the last thing you want is to start a jihad at your friend's cookout.
Sunday, I took it easy, except for an excursion in my mobile suit with my feminist studies instructor, Rhi, followed by a run to Gorditos for some fine Mexican cuisine. That burrito grande is bigger than my head! Seriously, I'm not kidding. Everything tasted great, but those Aztecs are renowned for their vengeful recipes: Shortly after returning home, I was howling in pain. This went on for several hours, until I let loose a giant fart, which seemed to set everything aright. And what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Unfortunately, the houseplants didn't react so well to the aforementioned cloud of poisonous stench.
The rest of the week was mostly a wash, while I dealt with having to haul my mother-unit around to various robo-docs, before the servos in her knee assemblies start grinding metal. I did take my mobile suit out a couple mornings around dawn though. That really is the best time to go: The air is cool, the sky is perfect, and there aren't many people around, which means you can get in some serious off-road action in the local green areas. In general, it's just a fun and healthy way to start any given day.
My base modifications are coming along nicely. I scored a phat laptop last week, with a heads-up display and all the bells and whistles. So many, in fact, I'm not entirely sure what some of the buttons do, in particular the foot-shaped ones -- hopefully something that involves kicking ass. The layout and materials for the tendril defense screen around my control room are all in place, but I'm having to wait for bloody slow contractors to do the installation. I already had to scale back from my original plan for a full perimeter grid, because the designer balked, so the delay is really starting to bug me. I could probably do it myself, but you have to be careful with ancient facilities like this, lest the ceiling come crashing down on your head. Their saving grace is some of the quaint but handy features not available in more modern units. For instance, the floor's built-in intrusion detection system: No external power supply, no moving parts, random realignments (i.e. no replay attacks). Only downside is that because it is always-on, the old man is constantly tripping it at night and disturbing my sleep. It is kinda funny though to watch him either crawling on all fours or doing this weird flailing tiptoe dance, in a vain attempt to avoid setting it off.
Speaking of mister tall, dark and ineffectual: So today we were doing some impromptu sparring after lunch -- me with my razor nails, and him with his wussy short-range pincer weapon. Despite having the safety engaged, he managed to lop off a freckle-sized area from the tip of my middle finger. I didn't feel a thing, but when I went to flip him off with it, he caught sight of a tiny smidget of blood and started screaming like a schoolgirl. Yes, another fine graduate of the Joxer School of Combat. The mother-unit came in and tidied the flesh wound up, but the emotional trauma had already been inflicted. Eventually, I decided to just play possum: Look, I'm dead now, okay? That means my suffering is over, and you can stop whining! I fell asleep waiting.
Sissy-boy finally cooled down after a ride on his turbocycle, so he tagged along to the Kentucky Derby party at Magnus's house. The latter had started boozing early apparently, because he was already pretty out of it when I arrived. Alice seemed kinda annoyed and bored, given the situation. Fortunately things picked up once the other girls started arriving (Ava! xoxoxo!) and a good time was had by all.
Sunday, I took it easy, except for an excursion in my mobile suit with my feminist studies instructor, Rhi, followed by a run to Gorditos for some fine Mexican cuisine. That burrito grande is bigger than my head! Seriously, I'm not kidding. Everything tasted great, but those Aztecs are renowned for their vengeful recipes: Shortly after returning home, I was howling in pain. This went on for several hours, until I let loose a giant fart, which seemed to set everything aright. And what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Unfortunately, the houseplants didn't react so well to the aforementioned cloud of poisonous stench.
The rest of the week was mostly a wash, while I dealt with having to haul my mother-unit around to various robo-docs, before the servos in her knee assemblies start grinding metal. I did take my mobile suit out a couple mornings around dawn though. That really is the best time to go: The air is cool, the sky is perfect, and there aren't many people around, which means you can get in some serious off-road action in the local green areas. In general, it's just a fun and healthy way to start any given day.
My base modifications are coming along nicely. I scored a phat laptop last week, with a heads-up display and all the bells and whistles. So many, in fact, I'm not entirely sure what some of the buttons do, in particular the foot-shaped ones -- hopefully something that involves kicking ass. The layout and materials for the tendril defense screen around my control room are all in place, but I'm having to wait for bloody slow contractors to do the installation. I already had to scale back from my original plan for a full perimeter grid, because the designer balked, so the delay is really starting to bug me. I could probably do it myself, but you have to be careful with ancient facilities like this, lest the ceiling come crashing down on your head. Their saving grace is some of the quaint but handy features not available in more modern units. For instance, the floor's built-in intrusion detection system: No external power supply, no moving parts, random realignments (i.e. no replay attacks). Only downside is that because it is always-on, the old man is constantly tripping it at night and disturbing my sleep. It is kinda funny though to watch him either crawling on all fours or doing this weird flailing tiptoe dance, in a vain attempt to avoid setting it off.
Speaking of mister tall, dark and ineffectual: So today we were doing some impromptu sparring after lunch -- me with my razor nails, and him with his wussy short-range pincer weapon. Despite having the safety engaged, he managed to lop off a freckle-sized area from the tip of my middle finger. I didn't feel a thing, but when I went to flip him off with it, he caught sight of a tiny smidget of blood and started screaming like a schoolgirl. Yes, another fine graduate of the Joxer School of Combat. The mother-unit came in and tidied the flesh wound up, but the emotional trauma had already been inflicted. Eventually, I decided to just play possum: Look, I'm dead now, okay? That means my suffering is over, and you can stop whining! I fell asleep waiting.
Sissy-boy finally cooled down after a ride on his turbocycle, so he tagged along to the Kentucky Derby party at Magnus's house. The latter had started boozing early apparently, because he was already pretty out of it when I arrived. Alice seemed kinda annoyed and bored, given the situation. Fortunately things picked up once the other girls started arriving (Ava! xoxoxo!) and a good time was had by all.