Updates coming so fast they strike like lightning
As should be obvious from the times of the last few posts, my sleep schedule is severely fucked up. I'm not really sure what it is. During break in Appleton I never really had problems getting to sleep at night, except for one time. Even after late nights out with the Perkin's and Walmart shindigs, I'd just go back home and eventually pass out at some point, waking up at a reasonable time in the morning, 11:30 at the latest. Since coming back to Milwaukee, my average wakeup time would be about 3 in the afternoon. Somewhat of a difference.
This has been going on for awhile admittedly. Spanning a time going back to the end of the semester. I actually picked up some Melatonin at one point to try and ward off this insomnia, but I'm not sure if it really has any effect on me. The past few days I tried a novel concept of just sleeping when I was tired, to varying degrees of success. Tonight's experiment started at 10:30 and ended at 2:00, leaving me still awake at this point. Right now I'm still a bit tired, but sleep just won't come to me, so it will be interesting to see if I make it to 10 tonight, or if sleep will envelop me before then to continue this hellish cycle I can't seem to break.
But there's something else going on. I seem to be unmotivated. Not mentally, as I've been interested in my future plans since I became vaguely certain what they held for me, but the standstill seems to be more of a physical one. I flail about the place, unsure of what to really do. It seems that all my plans are dependent on things that are not right now, be it waiting for Monday for certain offices to be open, or waiting to be back in Appleton to better get things nailed down in the apartment and employment sense. With each passing day it seems I become more dependent on a change to break this malaise that is consuming me.
So I've made a tentative timetable of moving back to Appleton by February 1st. This is dependent on so many factors that it seems more rational to rely on the fact that I won't be moving on the first, but something is something. Matt discovered that the building we're in has one bedroom apartments that should be open right now, so hopefully he can just do a switch of living arrangements until he wants to move out of here. Then there's the issue of finding a place in Appleton. Online I've found about 6 places that seem relatively cheap and not complete pieces of shit, but there's never any guarantee on that front. I could go on and on with a list about the things wrong with this place discovered only after we had termed it the Holy Grail of apartments. Suffice it to say there are a certain number of things I will be definitely looking at when perusing the apartment market in the upcoming weeks. Some of these include a kitchen with a window; a bathroom that does not lie on an outside wall, or if it does, does not have an exhaust fan to the outside with a cover that keeps falling off; landlords that will actually be in contact and able to get things fixed; sinks that do not clog at the drop of a hat.
Of course, school is another issue. Classes at Fox Valley Tech are probably getting started as I type, but at ITT in Green Bay, a new session begins in March. I'm not sure if any of those programs fit in with what I want to do, but since the timetable matches up, I should probably take a closer look at them.
As far as jobs, my mom claims to have a lead at the homeless shelter, where she now volunteers a bit. Apparently they are "always looking" for people to run the front desk, and there's rumors of a wage being as much as ten dollars an hour. As this is one of the things I'm looking forward to/relying on when moving back, it will most likely not happen, but there should be other options. Almost every retail store I visited during break had some sort of now hiring sign in their windows, so hopefully there should be something there for me when I return.
And smack in the middle of all this, perhaps what is actually allowing me time to check all these things out, is my dad's surgery. He's having a hip replacement on the 15th, and as such I'll be back at that time to take him to the hospital, take him home, and do other things that I'm not entirely sure of at this point. The plan is to go back up on the Monday before and then stay as long as it takes me to figure the above things out and have my dad be able to move around again.
There was going to be more here, namely about the contents of a phone call with my mom today, but I think I still need time to digest the conversation as it contains a bit of drama. Maybe next post.
This has been going on for awhile admittedly. Spanning a time going back to the end of the semester. I actually picked up some Melatonin at one point to try and ward off this insomnia, but I'm not sure if it really has any effect on me. The past few days I tried a novel concept of just sleeping when I was tired, to varying degrees of success. Tonight's experiment started at 10:30 and ended at 2:00, leaving me still awake at this point. Right now I'm still a bit tired, but sleep just won't come to me, so it will be interesting to see if I make it to 10 tonight, or if sleep will envelop me before then to continue this hellish cycle I can't seem to break.
But there's something else going on. I seem to be unmotivated. Not mentally, as I've been interested in my future plans since I became vaguely certain what they held for me, but the standstill seems to be more of a physical one. I flail about the place, unsure of what to really do. It seems that all my plans are dependent on things that are not right now, be it waiting for Monday for certain offices to be open, or waiting to be back in Appleton to better get things nailed down in the apartment and employment sense. With each passing day it seems I become more dependent on a change to break this malaise that is consuming me.
So I've made a tentative timetable of moving back to Appleton by February 1st. This is dependent on so many factors that it seems more rational to rely on the fact that I won't be moving on the first, but something is something. Matt discovered that the building we're in has one bedroom apartments that should be open right now, so hopefully he can just do a switch of living arrangements until he wants to move out of here. Then there's the issue of finding a place in Appleton. Online I've found about 6 places that seem relatively cheap and not complete pieces of shit, but there's never any guarantee on that front. I could go on and on with a list about the things wrong with this place discovered only after we had termed it the Holy Grail of apartments. Suffice it to say there are a certain number of things I will be definitely looking at when perusing the apartment market in the upcoming weeks. Some of these include a kitchen with a window; a bathroom that does not lie on an outside wall, or if it does, does not have an exhaust fan to the outside with a cover that keeps falling off; landlords that will actually be in contact and able to get things fixed; sinks that do not clog at the drop of a hat.
Of course, school is another issue. Classes at Fox Valley Tech are probably getting started as I type, but at ITT in Green Bay, a new session begins in March. I'm not sure if any of those programs fit in with what I want to do, but since the timetable matches up, I should probably take a closer look at them.
As far as jobs, my mom claims to have a lead at the homeless shelter, where she now volunteers a bit. Apparently they are "always looking" for people to run the front desk, and there's rumors of a wage being as much as ten dollars an hour. As this is one of the things I'm looking forward to/relying on when moving back, it will most likely not happen, but there should be other options. Almost every retail store I visited during break had some sort of now hiring sign in their windows, so hopefully there should be something there for me when I return.
And smack in the middle of all this, perhaps what is actually allowing me time to check all these things out, is my dad's surgery. He's having a hip replacement on the 15th, and as such I'll be back at that time to take him to the hospital, take him home, and do other things that I'm not entirely sure of at this point. The plan is to go back up on the Monday before and then stay as long as it takes me to figure the above things out and have my dad be able to move around again.
There was going to be more here, namely about the contents of a phone call with my mom today, but I think I still need time to digest the conversation as it contains a bit of drama. Maybe next post.