ahhhh
well bonnei and sam and probably alot of people at my school think im dumb cause im not there rightnow, but i have the wooooorrrrrsssssttttttt pains ever right now. and i was going to go to school after they called but my dad didnt answer, and i do feel bad that i have bonnies latin binder and there was a quiz today. but bitching at me about it just makes me feel even more shitty. so whatever.
sometimes i just hate everything and i dont know why i get in thie state at all. i'll be in it for how ever long and then it seems like two weeks later i get back in it. its so dumb. like...me.hah. uhh. but i know that im the only one that can get me out of this state really. like people can say encouraging things but its really all up to me, and usually if some one was to try and say something encouraging i would just think that they were totally wrong and didnt get it and then be even more pissed off. i talked to ferrin about it last night not about me but just depressed people in general, how its all up to them. but right now i just want to crawl into a black hole and diiiiiieeee. i was thinking about what my note to my family and friends would be, it was sad. i guess. i know some of its true though. like that i eventually wont be friends with the friends that i have now cause that always happens to me.
anyway, ferrins birthday is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! awesome!!!! but i dont have her a present..she can wait. hah
i guess i might go to zamboree and the bh thing ill get to see malanea if i do. and i dont really have any other plans for saturday.
by now theres not even a point in going to school, we get out at 2 today... but i still want to go, kinda, only if bonnie and same wouldnt give me shit for having her binder when i got there. and same wouldnt be like "RC RC RC RC"
ill try to do something productive, or draw, which is productive also.
sometimes i just hate everything and i dont know why i get in thie state at all. i'll be in it for how ever long and then it seems like two weeks later i get back in it. its so dumb. like...me.hah. uhh. but i know that im the only one that can get me out of this state really. like people can say encouraging things but its really all up to me, and usually if some one was to try and say something encouraging i would just think that they were totally wrong and didnt get it and then be even more pissed off. i talked to ferrin about it last night not about me but just depressed people in general, how its all up to them. but right now i just want to crawl into a black hole and diiiiiieeee. i was thinking about what my note to my family and friends would be, it was sad. i guess. i know some of its true though. like that i eventually wont be friends with the friends that i have now cause that always happens to me.
anyway, ferrins birthday is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! awesome!!!! but i dont have her a present..she can wait. hah
i guess i might go to zamboree and the bh thing ill get to see malanea if i do. and i dont really have any other plans for saturday.
by now theres not even a point in going to school, we get out at 2 today... but i still want to go, kinda, only if bonnie and same wouldnt give me shit for having her binder when i got there. and same wouldnt be like "RC RC RC RC"
ill try to do something productive, or draw, which is productive also.