500 Days Of Louis (3/4)
Title: 500 Days Of Louis (3/4)
Rating: R
Length: 3, 454
Fandom: One Direction
Characters: Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan,
Ships: Liam/Louis
Notes: This is basically just a 500 Days of Summer!au for louam.
Summary: This is a story of boy meets boy. But first off, you should know, this isn't a love story.
| part one | part two |
Day 110
“I’m just not sure what this is, guys,” Liam told Zayn and Niall over coffee the next day.
“Why don’t you just ask?” Zayn replied observably.
Liam scoffed. “Because, Zayn, I can’t just ask him that. What if it mucks everything up? I mean why should we have to put a label on anything, we’re adults here.”
Niall rolled his eyes. “Well, personally, before I start shagging someone and staying the night, I like to know exactly what’s going on.”
“I don’t think I should really be coming to you guys in the first place,” Liam muttered bitterly. “You’re not exactly skilled in relationships.”
“Hey!” Zayn spoke up abrasively. “I’m very skilled.”
“You’ve had the same girlfriend since you were thirteen,” Liam sneered.
“Shush.” Zayn frowned and sunk back into his seat, taking a sip of his coffee. “I love Ashley.”
“And you,” Liam rounded on Niall. “You’ve had one girlfriend since high school, and that was Hayley and how long did you date? About three weeks, right? And why? Because she caught you wanking to porn!”
“Hey, in my defense,” Niall raised a finger, “she was gone for the majority of those three weeks and I was getting kind of lonely.”
Day 118
It was hot that day and the bleachers were practically scorching Liam’s legs through the denim of his jeans. He had gone to Harry’s football match, and hadn’t really planned on it being spent talking about Louis, yet there they were. He knew that Harry was growing annoyed with him yet he couldn’t seem to stop. He trusted Harry, and he valued his opinion. Harry knew Liam better than most people; he was his brother and his best friend.
“I don’t get what to do, though,” Liam complained, his voice strained with exasperation and Harry groaned again as this was the fifth time Liam had stated this.
“I don’t know,” Harry retorted heatedly. “I mean, why you don’t just ask him if you’re so worried.”
“Because I don’t want to scare him off,” Liam repeated anxiously.
“Look, Liam.” Harry sighed firmly, tying up the laces on his running shoes. “You can’t just sit around and wait anymore. You’re just going to be wasting your time if you don’t ask. Look, if it were me, I’d wanna know before I got too involved. I mean, he could hurt you without really meaning to.”
Liam allowed Harry’s words to sink in. “Yeah, Harry, I guess you’re right.”
Harry grinned over at him. “’Course I am.”
Then Harry’s coach yelled at him and said that he was in the game. Harry stood up and shook his body excitedly. Harry was a damn good football player, but Liam protested and waved his arms.
“Hey, coach, we aren’t done here!”
“Listen, Liam,” Harry called to him, walking backwards onto the field. “Just don’t be a pussy.”
Day 119
They were driving to the movies. Liam looked over at Louis, who had a grin plastered on his face, his hands atop of the steering wheel. It truly was the happiest Liam had ever seen Louis, looking back on it. Louis caught his glance showing off his straight, white teeth. Liam smiled back, and realized that Louis was happy, and he really didn’t want to press the matter any further, but all that Harry had said the other day was still stuck in his head. Maybe he was wasting his time; he had never been in something with someone that didn’t have a label. He was always very conscientious about these kinds of things.
“What are we doing?” Liam blurted.
Louis let out a soft chuckle, “I thought we were going to the movies?”
Liam put his tongue in his cheek and struggled to think of the correct words. “Er, no I mean, this, us, what are we doing?”
Louis tossed him an apprehensive look and said, “I don’t know? I don’t care. I’m happy, aren’t you happy?”
Liam swallowed and nodded in agreement. What choice did he have really? He had to take Louis’ word for it.
Day 259
Louis brought the dry martini to his lips, looking mildly annoyed at Liam telling him a joke that he could have sworn he’d heard about a thousand times now. Liam seemed blissfully unaware of Louis’ annoyance and just continued. And in a way, Louis almost felt bad for him. He knew that maybe it seemed like he was stringing Liam along, but he just didn’t want a relationship. He was happy with where they were, or rather, he was. And now it just seemed like Liam was too preoccupied with what they could be rather than what they were.
“Hey,” a deep voice said appearing at the right of Louis’ shoulder. He was dressed in a suit, and Liam couldn’t help but think that he looked like a douche. “What’re you drinking? Let me get you a drink.”
“No thank you,” Louis replied tersely, pursing his lips and taking another sip from his glass.
The guy looked over at Liam and scoffed, “What? You’re with this guy? Really?”
“Hi, I’m Liam…”
“Whatever,” the guy snapped. “So, what do you say? Ditch this guy, let me buy you a drink I-“
“Look, I’m flattered, really, but no thank you. You’re being rude,” Louis retorted coldly.
The man chewed the inside of his cheek and shrugged and nodded. “Hm, okay.”
He appeared back a few seconds later, this time rounding on Liam, “I’m sorry but this guy? This guy is your boyfriend?”
Liam stood up and, before he could think, he punched him square in the jaw.
He turned to laugh at Louis, to show that he was tough, that he could be just who Louis needed him to be. But, the next thing he knew, he was seeing black, and woke up with a huge purple bruise on the side of his face.
“It’s really kind of funny.” Liam laughed as they walked through the door of Louis’ apartment. “I mean, one minute I’m kicking his ass, and then the next thing I know he’s kicking mine.”
Louis strolls over to the couch and stands there placidly with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrow and nostrils flaring.
“What?”
“I can’t believe you,” Louis began with disdain. “You were completely, completely, uncool back there.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Liam asked. “I got my ass kicked for you back there.”
“Well I didn’t need it,” Louis snapped. “I don’t need you to save me, Liam; I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself.”
“I was just trying to help,” Liam uttered feebly.
“Look, I’m really tired,” Louis began; he sounded irritated beyond belief. “I just… I need to go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
Liam nodded and tossed him an acrimonious look before turning on his heel, but the words and thoughts flowed through him like venom and he turned back around. His voice rose with each and every word, unable to stop himself.
“No, I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on here, Lou!”
Louis stared at him in shock, his mouth agape and he began to speak in a small voice, “We’re just friends-“
Liam’s eyes widened and his voice was stern and malicious, “No, no! Don’t pull that with me, don’t you dare. This is not how you treat your friends. Kissing, holding hands in IKEA, shower sex? Who does that with their friends?”
“I just… I don’t want a relationship,” Louis specified frailly.
“Well, you’re not the only one that gets a say in this!” Liam bellowed furiously.
They stood there for a moment listening to the sound of Liam’s heavy breathing, struggling to keep calm and not yell at Louis even more. Louis looked near tears as he kept opening his mouth slightly, as if he wanted to say something that he couldn’t quite express. But Liam had heard enough. He was through with wasting his time and didn’t want to be made a fool by him anymore.
“No, fuck this,” Liam muttered venomously. “I’m leaving.”
Later on
Liam lay there in bed, staring at his phone and waiting for a call that he was positive would never come. Still, a part of him wished that Louis would just give him a chance. He felt like they were slow dancing in a burning room. He sensed he was holding onto something that just wasn’t possible. But Liam was too stubborn to give him up; his mother had always said that you had to fight for love and, once you found that one person that was worth fighting for, it was meant to be.
Louis was someone worth fighting for.
Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door. He grumbled irritably and sat up, grabbing his shirt from the floor as he made his way to the door. He pulled on his t-shirt and opened the door, expecting to see Zayn or maybe even Harry. But he was stunned when he saw Louis, head pressed against the door frame. He was soaked through from the rain, hair plastered to the side of his face and his eyes were drooped, and Liam realized that Louis was trying to show him some sort of remorse for his behavior earlier. Liam tossed him a contemptible look, almost mad enough to not step aside to allow Louis inside.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and he sounded it. “I shouldn’t have done that, Liam. I’m so sorry.”
“I just,” Liam began, his voice barely a whisper and Louis nudged his chest with the top of his head, leaning in and smelling him. “I just need to know that you won’t wake up in the morning and feel differently.”
Louis let out a soft laugh and he kissed Liam chastely, “And I can’t give you that.”
Liam lets out a distressed sigh and allows Louis into his arms, closing the door behind them and pressing their bodies firmly against each other. And he kissed Louis like it would be the last time - he felt like it would be the last time. He was needy and passionate, almost begging, and he needed Louis, he just needed him.
Liam’s head began to spin as Louis led him towards the bedroom, guiding his unsure feet to the bed. As Louis began to thrust into him relentlessly, he almost felt tears come to his eyes. Not from the pain, no, but from the sheer fact that he was losing Louis. He wasn’t ready for that yet.
Day 260
They woke up limbs knotted together and Louis could feel the soft breath escaping from Liam’s mouth on his cheek. He brushed at a loose hair across Liam’s forehead, causing Liam to stir and look at Louis with inquisition.
“Morning, sunshine.” Louis beamed, pressing a kiss to Liam’s nose.
They shuffled to the kitchen and ate hurriedly, as Liam’s apartment had rapidly dropped in temperature over the night. They raced each other to the bed, flopping down upon the silky duvet and laughing wildly at one another. And it baffled Liam at how quickly Louis’ demeanor had changed. He had gone from being so serious and passionate to playful and child-like. He could be ordinary in the best of ways, but he always managed to dance like a poet through every word that he said.
“So, have you ever been in a relationship before?” Liam asked the burning question, his hand stroking Louis’ chest.
“Of course,” Louis remarked. “I’ve had my fair share.”
“Oh yeah? Like who?”
“Well, there was James from Sweden. He was really sweet, he was a rower, very hot,” Louis added a laugh for effect. “Then there was Dean; he was nice, he played football for Liverpool, he was really scouse. I wasn’t used to it, really. Then there was Sam for a brief time in college. She was nice and everything but just not… really what I was looking for? And then there was Ed, he was musician. I think he still makes music, actually. He was probably the nicest guy I’ve ever been with.”
“Is that all?” Liam asked bewilderingly.
“Well, the only ones that were serious, anyway,” Louis shrugged.
“Yeah? And what happened to them?” Liam probed.
“What always happens,” Louis replied casually, leaning back across the bed, his shirt lifting to show the slight happy trail and causing Liam to lick his lips. “Life.”
Day 191
Louis loved going to the movies, he didn’t go often, and Liam just loved to splurge on him. They acted so cliché in the movie theatres. Each and every time Louis would get scared he’d press his face into Liam’s shoulder, or gasp at a particularly sad scene. But Liam loved his laugh best, so he chose for them to see a comedy. They’d giggle at each other whenever they’d reach into the bucket of popcorn simultaneously and their hands would brush against one another. Liam would tuck his head into the crook of Louis’ neck each and every single time that he would laugh. Everything was just perfect, exactly how it should be. He had Louis now.
Day 321
Liam was late for work every single day that week. He came in hung over each morning, which caused Niall to bombard him with concerned questions. He barely did any work that he was supposed to do; instead, he just sat at the blinking cursor in his empty word document. He had never been like this before, but each and every day he struggled to get out of bed. And what’s worse was that he barely had the energy or the will to get dressed in presentable garb.
Tim had asked to see Liam in his office, and Liam rolled his eyes and followed Tim up the steps. Tim was jovial, however, and asked Liam politely to sit across from him. Liam peered wearily around the room, flinching at the sound of Tim’s voice.
“Liam, how nice of you to join me… I was just… I had a few questions,” he began.
Liam nodded and responded slowly, “Okay…”
“Has something happened?” Tim leaned in a bit, his eyes slanting in concern.
“What do you mean?” Liam asked boldly.
“Well, it’s just… your work performance has been lacking a bit recently,” Tim stuttered.
Liam squinted. “Tim… are you firing me?”
Tim’s eyes widened and he objected quickly, “God, Liam, no. I could never - You’re one of the good ones. It’s just… you haven’t been the same for a while.”
Liam shook his head. “I’m sorry, sir, I just don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Tim sighed and picked up a card laying on his desk, “Maybe this will make some sense to you. I have one of your latest cards here, and it almost got put on the rack. It says.” He pursed his lips before continuing hesitantly. “’Roses are red, violets are blue…fuck you, whore’ I’m just… I’m not getting it Liam?”
“Nor am I,” Liam uttered back resiliently.
“Does this have anything to do with Louis?”
Liam scowled. “Sorry?”
“Liam, we all know, okay? Everyone knows. That’s all anyone ever talks about anymore; don’t think I don’t know these things. Also, Harry has a big mouth, Karen told me everything,” Tim explained.
Liam sighed irritably. “Of course…”
“If you need some time off I-“
“No, Tim,” Liam shook his head and hopped up to his feet. “Really, that’s okay. Please don’t worry about me. I just need to get over it, I need to get over myself. But thank you for your concern; I’ll try to get my shit together.”
“Good.” Tim beamed at him.
Day 322
“I hate Louis,” Liam complained heatedly to Zayn one day over lunch. “I hate those stupid age lines that he has whenever he smiles. I hate his dumb retro eighties haircut. I hate that patch of hair on his chest, it looks like pubes. I hate his stupid collar bones and how they awkwardly stick out. I hate his stupid knees, he has chicken legs. I hate him.”
Day 345
“You know, usually I don’t agree with blind dates,” Danielle babbled on, her bubbly personality was cute but Liam found it a bit suffocating, “but you’re actually cute.”
Danielle was pretty cute too, he supposed, if he were into, well, females. She had long curly hair and dark skin and pale lips. Every time she smiled she seemed to light up the whole room and her laugh was loud and booming and turned heads. She was sweet, Liam knew that, and he supposed he ought to give her a chance, but Louis was still at the front of his mind. He seemed to see him everywhere he turned. He was lucky to be out with a girl like Danielle, truly, she was envied by every girl and desired by every guy. But, for some reason, Liam just couldn’t get into her, and he thought at last, maybe it had something to do with the fact he was gay.
“Look, Danielle,” Liam interrupted and they stopped on the side of the street. “You’re great, you truly really are. I think you’re amazing. But I’m just…did they even bother to tell you I’m gay?”
Danielle’s eyes widened and her face flushed a bright red, illuminated by the headlights of a passing car, “Oh my God, no. Zayn never mentioned it.”
“Well, I guess there’s a lot you ought to get to know about me then.” Liam laughed, and he offered her his arm. “Come on, I’ll at least get you a drink.”
“I feel so embarrassed,” Danielle muttered later to him from across the table, her head buried in her hand. “How could I be so fucking stupid?”
Liam smiled, “Come off it, love. Not your fault, is it?”
“Well, you’re not exactly…” Danielle began but then pressed her hand to her mouth.
“Not exactly?” Liam goaded.
“I mean…you don’t seem gay,” Danielle finished, hurriedly averting her eyes away from his.
Liam laughed. “I get that a lot.”
Danielle seemed a bit relieved and they began talking some more. Danielle seemed like a funny girl and someone that Niall would be perfect with. He questioned her and Niall’s relationship several times but she just laughed and insisted that he was like a younger brother to her. She pointed out several times that she was friends with a lot of male dancers, and that they were straight, which she never failed to add.
“Danielle, listen, the offer, it’s lovely.” Liam picked his words carefully. “But… I’m just not interested in a relationship at the moment.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I mean, I just kind of got over this guy.” Liam sighed and picked up his drink taking a long gulp. “It was really rough.”
“What happened?”
So Liam started from the beginning. He wasn’t sure why he was spilling his guts out to this girl that he barely knew. But Danielle had a kind face and she seemed genuinely interested in what Liam had to say. It was refreshing being around a woman that wasn’t his mum for once, actually, and she seemed to understand everything he said until she spoke.
Her voice was harsh. “Wait. So let me get this straight: He didn’t cheat on you?”
“No.”
“He didn’t verbally or emotionally abuse you in any way?” Danielle pressed.
“Well, no...”
“And he told you from the beginning that he didn’t want a relationship?” Danielle raised an eyebrow.
Liam sunk in his seat and nodded weakly. “Well, yeah.”
Danielle shook her head, “Well, I gotta say, that’s a little low Liam.”
“What? He literally took a giant shit on my chest!” Liam argued back his voice was slurred with the alcohol.
“Literally?” Danielle raised her eyebrows.
“No, of course not literally, that’s gross. What the hell’s wrong with you?” Liam shot back concisely.
Liam lowered his head, struggling to meet her gaze. She made some bullshit excuse for needing to leave and Liam was left there alone with his drink. He knew he was being ridiculous about Louis but he couldn’t stop. It was like Louis was consuming his every single thought and he was just constantly flashing back to all the good memories and all the good times. He was overlooking everything else completely. He could still feel Louis’ hand interwoven in his, tracing his thumb over the outside of Liam’s fingers. He could still feel the warm breath on his neck in the morning as Louis would be practically lying atop of him in his sleep. He missed Louis and he wanted him back. He wanted him back so much it was the only thing he could concentrate on anymore.
Rating: R
Length: 3, 454
Fandom: One Direction
Characters: Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan,
Ships: Liam/Louis
Notes: This is basically just a 500 Days of Summer!au for louam.
Summary: This is a story of boy meets boy. But first off, you should know, this isn't a love story.
| part one | part two |
Day 110
“I’m just not sure what this is, guys,” Liam told Zayn and Niall over coffee the next day.
“Why don’t you just ask?” Zayn replied observably.
Liam scoffed. “Because, Zayn, I can’t just ask him that. What if it mucks everything up? I mean why should we have to put a label on anything, we’re adults here.”
Niall rolled his eyes. “Well, personally, before I start shagging someone and staying the night, I like to know exactly what’s going on.”
“I don’t think I should really be coming to you guys in the first place,” Liam muttered bitterly. “You’re not exactly skilled in relationships.”
“Hey!” Zayn spoke up abrasively. “I’m very skilled.”
“You’ve had the same girlfriend since you were thirteen,” Liam sneered.
“Shush.” Zayn frowned and sunk back into his seat, taking a sip of his coffee. “I love Ashley.”
“And you,” Liam rounded on Niall. “You’ve had one girlfriend since high school, and that was Hayley and how long did you date? About three weeks, right? And why? Because she caught you wanking to porn!”
“Hey, in my defense,” Niall raised a finger, “she was gone for the majority of those three weeks and I was getting kind of lonely.”
Day 118
It was hot that day and the bleachers were practically scorching Liam’s legs through the denim of his jeans. He had gone to Harry’s football match, and hadn’t really planned on it being spent talking about Louis, yet there they were. He knew that Harry was growing annoyed with him yet he couldn’t seem to stop. He trusted Harry, and he valued his opinion. Harry knew Liam better than most people; he was his brother and his best friend.
“I don’t get what to do, though,” Liam complained, his voice strained with exasperation and Harry groaned again as this was the fifth time Liam had stated this.
“I don’t know,” Harry retorted heatedly. “I mean, why you don’t just ask him if you’re so worried.”
“Because I don’t want to scare him off,” Liam repeated anxiously.
“Look, Liam.” Harry sighed firmly, tying up the laces on his running shoes. “You can’t just sit around and wait anymore. You’re just going to be wasting your time if you don’t ask. Look, if it were me, I’d wanna know before I got too involved. I mean, he could hurt you without really meaning to.”
Liam allowed Harry’s words to sink in. “Yeah, Harry, I guess you’re right.”
Harry grinned over at him. “’Course I am.”
Then Harry’s coach yelled at him and said that he was in the game. Harry stood up and shook his body excitedly. Harry was a damn good football player, but Liam protested and waved his arms.
“Hey, coach, we aren’t done here!”
“Listen, Liam,” Harry called to him, walking backwards onto the field. “Just don’t be a pussy.”
Day 119
They were driving to the movies. Liam looked over at Louis, who had a grin plastered on his face, his hands atop of the steering wheel. It truly was the happiest Liam had ever seen Louis, looking back on it. Louis caught his glance showing off his straight, white teeth. Liam smiled back, and realized that Louis was happy, and he really didn’t want to press the matter any further, but all that Harry had said the other day was still stuck in his head. Maybe he was wasting his time; he had never been in something with someone that didn’t have a label. He was always very conscientious about these kinds of things.
“What are we doing?” Liam blurted.
Louis let out a soft chuckle, “I thought we were going to the movies?”
Liam put his tongue in his cheek and struggled to think of the correct words. “Er, no I mean, this, us, what are we doing?”
Louis tossed him an apprehensive look and said, “I don’t know? I don’t care. I’m happy, aren’t you happy?”
Liam swallowed and nodded in agreement. What choice did he have really? He had to take Louis’ word for it.
Day 259
Louis brought the dry martini to his lips, looking mildly annoyed at Liam telling him a joke that he could have sworn he’d heard about a thousand times now. Liam seemed blissfully unaware of Louis’ annoyance and just continued. And in a way, Louis almost felt bad for him. He knew that maybe it seemed like he was stringing Liam along, but he just didn’t want a relationship. He was happy with where they were, or rather, he was. And now it just seemed like Liam was too preoccupied with what they could be rather than what they were.
“Hey,” a deep voice said appearing at the right of Louis’ shoulder. He was dressed in a suit, and Liam couldn’t help but think that he looked like a douche. “What’re you drinking? Let me get you a drink.”
“No thank you,” Louis replied tersely, pursing his lips and taking another sip from his glass.
The guy looked over at Liam and scoffed, “What? You’re with this guy? Really?”
“Hi, I’m Liam…”
“Whatever,” the guy snapped. “So, what do you say? Ditch this guy, let me buy you a drink I-“
“Look, I’m flattered, really, but no thank you. You’re being rude,” Louis retorted coldly.
The man chewed the inside of his cheek and shrugged and nodded. “Hm, okay.”
He appeared back a few seconds later, this time rounding on Liam, “I’m sorry but this guy? This guy is your boyfriend?”
Liam stood up and, before he could think, he punched him square in the jaw.
He turned to laugh at Louis, to show that he was tough, that he could be just who Louis needed him to be. But, the next thing he knew, he was seeing black, and woke up with a huge purple bruise on the side of his face.
“It’s really kind of funny.” Liam laughed as they walked through the door of Louis’ apartment. “I mean, one minute I’m kicking his ass, and then the next thing I know he’s kicking mine.”
Louis strolls over to the couch and stands there placidly with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrow and nostrils flaring.
“What?”
“I can’t believe you,” Louis began with disdain. “You were completely, completely, uncool back there.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Liam asked. “I got my ass kicked for you back there.”
“Well I didn’t need it,” Louis snapped. “I don’t need you to save me, Liam; I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself.”
“I was just trying to help,” Liam uttered feebly.
“Look, I’m really tired,” Louis began; he sounded irritated beyond belief. “I just… I need to go to bed. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
Liam nodded and tossed him an acrimonious look before turning on his heel, but the words and thoughts flowed through him like venom and he turned back around. His voice rose with each and every word, unable to stop himself.
“No, I’m not leaving! I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on here, Lou!”
Louis stared at him in shock, his mouth agape and he began to speak in a small voice, “We’re just friends-“
Liam’s eyes widened and his voice was stern and malicious, “No, no! Don’t pull that with me, don’t you dare. This is not how you treat your friends. Kissing, holding hands in IKEA, shower sex? Who does that with their friends?”
“I just… I don’t want a relationship,” Louis specified frailly.
“Well, you’re not the only one that gets a say in this!” Liam bellowed furiously.
They stood there for a moment listening to the sound of Liam’s heavy breathing, struggling to keep calm and not yell at Louis even more. Louis looked near tears as he kept opening his mouth slightly, as if he wanted to say something that he couldn’t quite express. But Liam had heard enough. He was through with wasting his time and didn’t want to be made a fool by him anymore.
“No, fuck this,” Liam muttered venomously. “I’m leaving.”
Later on
Liam lay there in bed, staring at his phone and waiting for a call that he was positive would never come. Still, a part of him wished that Louis would just give him a chance. He felt like they were slow dancing in a burning room. He sensed he was holding onto something that just wasn’t possible. But Liam was too stubborn to give him up; his mother had always said that you had to fight for love and, once you found that one person that was worth fighting for, it was meant to be.
Louis was someone worth fighting for.
Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door. He grumbled irritably and sat up, grabbing his shirt from the floor as he made his way to the door. He pulled on his t-shirt and opened the door, expecting to see Zayn or maybe even Harry. But he was stunned when he saw Louis, head pressed against the door frame. He was soaked through from the rain, hair plastered to the side of his face and his eyes were drooped, and Liam realized that Louis was trying to show him some sort of remorse for his behavior earlier. Liam tossed him a contemptible look, almost mad enough to not step aside to allow Louis inside.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and he sounded it. “I shouldn’t have done that, Liam. I’m so sorry.”
“I just,” Liam began, his voice barely a whisper and Louis nudged his chest with the top of his head, leaning in and smelling him. “I just need to know that you won’t wake up in the morning and feel differently.”
Louis let out a soft laugh and he kissed Liam chastely, “And I can’t give you that.”
Liam lets out a distressed sigh and allows Louis into his arms, closing the door behind them and pressing their bodies firmly against each other. And he kissed Louis like it would be the last time - he felt like it would be the last time. He was needy and passionate, almost begging, and he needed Louis, he just needed him.
Liam’s head began to spin as Louis led him towards the bedroom, guiding his unsure feet to the bed. As Louis began to thrust into him relentlessly, he almost felt tears come to his eyes. Not from the pain, no, but from the sheer fact that he was losing Louis. He wasn’t ready for that yet.
Day 260
They woke up limbs knotted together and Louis could feel the soft breath escaping from Liam’s mouth on his cheek. He brushed at a loose hair across Liam’s forehead, causing Liam to stir and look at Louis with inquisition.
“Morning, sunshine.” Louis beamed, pressing a kiss to Liam’s nose.
They shuffled to the kitchen and ate hurriedly, as Liam’s apartment had rapidly dropped in temperature over the night. They raced each other to the bed, flopping down upon the silky duvet and laughing wildly at one another. And it baffled Liam at how quickly Louis’ demeanor had changed. He had gone from being so serious and passionate to playful and child-like. He could be ordinary in the best of ways, but he always managed to dance like a poet through every word that he said.
“So, have you ever been in a relationship before?” Liam asked the burning question, his hand stroking Louis’ chest.
“Of course,” Louis remarked. “I’ve had my fair share.”
“Oh yeah? Like who?”
“Well, there was James from Sweden. He was really sweet, he was a rower, very hot,” Louis added a laugh for effect. “Then there was Dean; he was nice, he played football for Liverpool, he was really scouse. I wasn’t used to it, really. Then there was Sam for a brief time in college. She was nice and everything but just not… really what I was looking for? And then there was Ed, he was musician. I think he still makes music, actually. He was probably the nicest guy I’ve ever been with.”
“Is that all?” Liam asked bewilderingly.
“Well, the only ones that were serious, anyway,” Louis shrugged.
“Yeah? And what happened to them?” Liam probed.
“What always happens,” Louis replied casually, leaning back across the bed, his shirt lifting to show the slight happy trail and causing Liam to lick his lips. “Life.”
Day 191
Louis loved going to the movies, he didn’t go often, and Liam just loved to splurge on him. They acted so cliché in the movie theatres. Each and every time Louis would get scared he’d press his face into Liam’s shoulder, or gasp at a particularly sad scene. But Liam loved his laugh best, so he chose for them to see a comedy. They’d giggle at each other whenever they’d reach into the bucket of popcorn simultaneously and their hands would brush against one another. Liam would tuck his head into the crook of Louis’ neck each and every single time that he would laugh. Everything was just perfect, exactly how it should be. He had Louis now.
Day 321
Liam was late for work every single day that week. He came in hung over each morning, which caused Niall to bombard him with concerned questions. He barely did any work that he was supposed to do; instead, he just sat at the blinking cursor in his empty word document. He had never been like this before, but each and every day he struggled to get out of bed. And what’s worse was that he barely had the energy or the will to get dressed in presentable garb.
Tim had asked to see Liam in his office, and Liam rolled his eyes and followed Tim up the steps. Tim was jovial, however, and asked Liam politely to sit across from him. Liam peered wearily around the room, flinching at the sound of Tim’s voice.
“Liam, how nice of you to join me… I was just… I had a few questions,” he began.
Liam nodded and responded slowly, “Okay…”
“Has something happened?” Tim leaned in a bit, his eyes slanting in concern.
“What do you mean?” Liam asked boldly.
“Well, it’s just… your work performance has been lacking a bit recently,” Tim stuttered.
Liam squinted. “Tim… are you firing me?”
Tim’s eyes widened and he objected quickly, “God, Liam, no. I could never - You’re one of the good ones. It’s just… you haven’t been the same for a while.”
Liam shook his head. “I’m sorry, sir, I just don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Tim sighed and picked up a card laying on his desk, “Maybe this will make some sense to you. I have one of your latest cards here, and it almost got put on the rack. It says.” He pursed his lips before continuing hesitantly. “’Roses are red, violets are blue…fuck you, whore’ I’m just… I’m not getting it Liam?”
“Nor am I,” Liam uttered back resiliently.
“Does this have anything to do with Louis?”
Liam scowled. “Sorry?”
“Liam, we all know, okay? Everyone knows. That’s all anyone ever talks about anymore; don’t think I don’t know these things. Also, Harry has a big mouth, Karen told me everything,” Tim explained.
Liam sighed irritably. “Of course…”
“If you need some time off I-“
“No, Tim,” Liam shook his head and hopped up to his feet. “Really, that’s okay. Please don’t worry about me. I just need to get over it, I need to get over myself. But thank you for your concern; I’ll try to get my shit together.”
“Good.” Tim beamed at him.
Day 322
“I hate Louis,” Liam complained heatedly to Zayn one day over lunch. “I hate those stupid age lines that he has whenever he smiles. I hate his dumb retro eighties haircut. I hate that patch of hair on his chest, it looks like pubes. I hate his stupid collar bones and how they awkwardly stick out. I hate his stupid knees, he has chicken legs. I hate him.”
Day 345
“You know, usually I don’t agree with blind dates,” Danielle babbled on, her bubbly personality was cute but Liam found it a bit suffocating, “but you’re actually cute.”
Danielle was pretty cute too, he supposed, if he were into, well, females. She had long curly hair and dark skin and pale lips. Every time she smiled she seemed to light up the whole room and her laugh was loud and booming and turned heads. She was sweet, Liam knew that, and he supposed he ought to give her a chance, but Louis was still at the front of his mind. He seemed to see him everywhere he turned. He was lucky to be out with a girl like Danielle, truly, she was envied by every girl and desired by every guy. But, for some reason, Liam just couldn’t get into her, and he thought at last, maybe it had something to do with the fact he was gay.
“Look, Danielle,” Liam interrupted and they stopped on the side of the street. “You’re great, you truly really are. I think you’re amazing. But I’m just…did they even bother to tell you I’m gay?”
Danielle’s eyes widened and her face flushed a bright red, illuminated by the headlights of a passing car, “Oh my God, no. Zayn never mentioned it.”
“Well, I guess there’s a lot you ought to get to know about me then.” Liam laughed, and he offered her his arm. “Come on, I’ll at least get you a drink.”
“I feel so embarrassed,” Danielle muttered later to him from across the table, her head buried in her hand. “How could I be so fucking stupid?”
Liam smiled, “Come off it, love. Not your fault, is it?”
“Well, you’re not exactly…” Danielle began but then pressed her hand to her mouth.
“Not exactly?” Liam goaded.
“I mean…you don’t seem gay,” Danielle finished, hurriedly averting her eyes away from his.
Liam laughed. “I get that a lot.”
Danielle seemed a bit relieved and they began talking some more. Danielle seemed like a funny girl and someone that Niall would be perfect with. He questioned her and Niall’s relationship several times but she just laughed and insisted that he was like a younger brother to her. She pointed out several times that she was friends with a lot of male dancers, and that they were straight, which she never failed to add.
“Danielle, listen, the offer, it’s lovely.” Liam picked his words carefully. “But… I’m just not interested in a relationship at the moment.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I mean, I just kind of got over this guy.” Liam sighed and picked up his drink taking a long gulp. “It was really rough.”
“What happened?”
So Liam started from the beginning. He wasn’t sure why he was spilling his guts out to this girl that he barely knew. But Danielle had a kind face and she seemed genuinely interested in what Liam had to say. It was refreshing being around a woman that wasn’t his mum for once, actually, and she seemed to understand everything he said until she spoke.
Her voice was harsh. “Wait. So let me get this straight: He didn’t cheat on you?”
“No.”
“He didn’t verbally or emotionally abuse you in any way?” Danielle pressed.
“Well, no...”
“And he told you from the beginning that he didn’t want a relationship?” Danielle raised an eyebrow.
Liam sunk in his seat and nodded weakly. “Well, yeah.”
Danielle shook her head, “Well, I gotta say, that’s a little low Liam.”
“What? He literally took a giant shit on my chest!” Liam argued back his voice was slurred with the alcohol.
“Literally?” Danielle raised her eyebrows.
“No, of course not literally, that’s gross. What the hell’s wrong with you?” Liam shot back concisely.
Liam lowered his head, struggling to meet her gaze. She made some bullshit excuse for needing to leave and Liam was left there alone with his drink. He knew he was being ridiculous about Louis but he couldn’t stop. It was like Louis was consuming his every single thought and he was just constantly flashing back to all the good memories and all the good times. He was overlooking everything else completely. He could still feel Louis’ hand interwoven in his, tracing his thumb over the outside of Liam’s fingers. He could still feel the warm breath on his neck in the morning as Louis would be practically lying atop of him in his sleep. He missed Louis and he wanted him back. He wanted him back so much it was the only thing he could concentrate on anymore.