Romance on a Budget
We have a deep seated need to be loved and to make a meaningful connection with someone. Personally, I think you can find that outside of a romantic partner, and it's better to be happily single than unhappily married. But those aren't your only two options.
First the reality check, despite the pressures of biology and over bearing family members. You can not only survive but have a happy, full life without a romantic partner. This makes dating a "want" rather than a "need", so money for dates ought to come out of the entertainment portion of your budget.
I also would love for more people to realize romance is a "want" rather than a "need", because that gives you to the freedom to be more selective. Not everyone's looking to get married, but who you marry, and to a lesser degree who you date, is one of the most important financial decisions you can make.
Money is listed as the leading cause of divorce in pretty much every article I've ever seen on the subject and divorce is always costly. I don't think this is because Americans are obsessed with money; quite the opposite. I think the problem is that we're so focused on connecting with someone emotionally or physically that the question of money is forgotten until it rears it's ugly head to cause trouble.
In the early stages of dating, money is a fairly minor issue, effecting mainly the places we can afford to go as we get to know each other. But when we start taking steps to combine our finances, either through co-habitation or marriage, it's important to be able to have a healthy, open, and on going dialogue on the subject. (Yes, guys, you have to talk. Yes, girls, that means crunching numbers. Yes, everyone, those are stereotypes.)
Co-habitation is something I generally advise against, because it puts you in a shakey and awkward state that gives you few rights and little legal protection. If you want to risk it, I strongly suggest treating your finances as though you were living with a roommate and dividing expenses accordingly. It's still good to work on that healthy and open dialogue. If you're willing to share a bathroom or bedroom with someone, you absolutely ought to be willing to admit how much you owe on student loans. The fewer surprises; the better. However, this is not the time to share PIN numbers.
Marriage is a social institution with significant legal ramifications. With the right partner, it's a blessing with financial benefits, but it's important to know where your potential partner stands before signing legal documents. Good people can be terrible with money. But financial irresponsibility, or worse secrets, can quickly lead to trust issues through the entire relationship. And there are lots of other things that may not seem like financial issues at first but certainly having financial ramifications. This Huffpost Article is good to read if you're considering (ever) getting married or cohabitating: Pre-Wedding Blood Tests
I'm pushing over word count again...the more fun side of this on Friday.