(no subject)
i feel like it's 1/2way through March already, damn... time!
so i've spent the last few months learning to focus more on myself instead of trying to find a N*other* - but in the end I think it's made me bitter, bratty, and spiteful...
i feel like i hate everyone and everything
i want to see and deal with no one and no thing of importance
my plan is to throw my life as i know it AWAY
and get myself a full-time high-paying job
so that i can afford the lifestyle that makes me happy-EST
;)
i've started working out again, god DAMN i was/am out of shape... i went snowboarding today and almost dieD ! haha, well... only 'cuz i almost fell into a tree-well.
I'm stoked on trying to sell my hats at the Freemont Fair on Sundays now - gonna' check it out this weekend. I know I can do more with my art, why is it so hard for me to get it out there?... if only I could just DO it... just SELL it... I wish I could find somebody to help me... every time i get stoked on somebody wanting to sell my art, they turn out to be flakey or jakey...
*LOL*
;D
Well, it's Friday night and I'm with the family for dinner - chicken's in the oven, salad's made and we just got cable oh WhaAAAAAAAAT?!
my brother told me today (after I exclaimed with a "YAY!" that we had snacks waiting for us in the car) - that it bothers him when i act/talk/project "froo-froo" - as in, why do i have to act and talk so stupid girlie-girl (airhead, i guess is a good word) about stuff. I told him it was just me. Obviously. But I stopped on the subject and thought about it, as I have tried to understand this myself uncountable times - and it really just comes down to my way of dealing with the world ... it almost hurt my feelings, and i wanted to hurtle myself into a pit of despair at my lack of worth as a human being, but i decided not to because honestly?
i've noticed it too.
fuck.
*sigh*
it's okay... every guy i've been interested in lately has decided that I'm such a great, amazing person - - - that they just want to be friends so they will never lose my friendship...
and went out and fucked some other girl from the local group/crew or whatever
ha
ha
ha
yAy
and all i can do is laugh
<3
so i've spent the last few months learning to focus more on myself instead of trying to find a N*other* - but in the end I think it's made me bitter, bratty, and spiteful...
i feel like i hate everyone and everything
i want to see and deal with no one and no thing of importance
my plan is to throw my life as i know it AWAY
and get myself a full-time high-paying job
so that i can afford the lifestyle that makes me happy-EST
;)
i've started working out again, god DAMN i was/am out of shape... i went snowboarding today and almost dieD ! haha, well... only 'cuz i almost fell into a tree-well.
I'm stoked on trying to sell my hats at the Freemont Fair on Sundays now - gonna' check it out this weekend. I know I can do more with my art, why is it so hard for me to get it out there?... if only I could just DO it... just SELL it... I wish I could find somebody to help me... every time i get stoked on somebody wanting to sell my art, they turn out to be flakey or jakey...
*LOL*
;D
Well, it's Friday night and I'm with the family for dinner - chicken's in the oven, salad's made and we just got cable oh WhaAAAAAAAAT?!
my brother told me today (after I exclaimed with a "YAY!" that we had snacks waiting for us in the car) - that it bothers him when i act/talk/project "froo-froo" - as in, why do i have to act and talk so stupid girlie-girl (airhead, i guess is a good word) about stuff. I told him it was just me. Obviously. But I stopped on the subject and thought about it, as I have tried to understand this myself uncountable times - and it really just comes down to my way of dealing with the world ... it almost hurt my feelings, and i wanted to hurtle myself into a pit of despair at my lack of worth as a human being, but i decided not to because honestly?
i've noticed it too.
fuck.
*sigh*
it's okay... every guy i've been interested in lately has decided that I'm such a great, amazing person - - - that they just want to be friends so they will never lose my friendship...
and went out and fucked some other girl from the local group/crew or whatever
ha
ha
ha
yAy
and all i can do is laugh
<3