ohh woahh..
what a day.. im so tired..maybe bc its one in the morn..lol.
but anyhow.. a lot has happened today. seriously. well.. not today. more like this whole week and three days. ever since that night..... this whole existance has only been based on one thing. i miss him.. a lot. there is no way i can go through a day without being..depressed....so saddened.. so alone. i felt my whole world fall down around me that night.. but things are happening now. i have hope.. once again..that we will be together for sure.. that i can just hear from him. that i can just see what he thinks.. but ...
i dont want to put myself though something that isnt real...if that makes any sense at all. i just hate this emotional tourmoil.. and sometimes its so painful i cant believe its really me..at 15.. wishing i werent alive to experiance this pain. but i am.. and i have to stay strong.. we have to stay strong.. to stay happy and together. to stay alive.. i must be stronger than i am right now. i guess.... its..going.. to take..time.. but i dont know how much longer i can last..
i try to do things to keep my mind off of..missing him. not that i dont think fondly of him but... sometimes i cry.. and cry.. cry myself to sleep...
but..ddr keeps me happy..lol. YES DDR KEEPS ME HAPPY . and drawing... and writing letters that will never get sent...-_-...or maybe they might.... i dont know now. i just... hope. and pray.. god i pray.
but..
this livejournal gets me by. working on this darned thing keeps me bust for like a day..lol. true. anyone who works on a lj will know what i mean.
anyhow... im off to sleep.. to dream. finally..away from my daily grind. lol..well not funny.. kind of in a cosmic way.
*sigh* nighty night
but anyhow.. a lot has happened today. seriously. well.. not today. more like this whole week and three days. ever since that night..... this whole existance has only been based on one thing. i miss him.. a lot. there is no way i can go through a day without being..depressed....so saddened.. so alone. i felt my whole world fall down around me that night.. but things are happening now. i have hope.. once again..that we will be together for sure.. that i can just hear from him. that i can just see what he thinks.. but ...
i dont want to put myself though something that isnt real...if that makes any sense at all. i just hate this emotional tourmoil.. and sometimes its so painful i cant believe its really me..at 15.. wishing i werent alive to experiance this pain. but i am.. and i have to stay strong.. we have to stay strong.. to stay happy and together. to stay alive.. i must be stronger than i am right now. i guess.... its..going.. to take..time.. but i dont know how much longer i can last..
i try to do things to keep my mind off of..missing him. not that i dont think fondly of him but... sometimes i cry.. and cry.. cry myself to sleep...
but..ddr keeps me happy..lol. YES DDR KEEPS ME HAPPY . and drawing... and writing letters that will never get sent...-_-...or maybe they might.... i dont know now. i just... hope. and pray.. god i pray.
but..
this livejournal gets me by. working on this darned thing keeps me bust for like a day..lol. true. anyone who works on a lj will know what i mean.
anyhow... im off to sleep.. to dream. finally..away from my daily grind. lol..well not funny.. kind of in a cosmic way.
*sigh* nighty night